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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    We Love You Too

    , | Pizzeria | Top

    (It was literally 3 minutes before closing time, and someone called us.)

    Drunk Customer: “Ehhhhhh hello?”

    Me: “Sir, we are at closing time.”

    Drunk Customer: “Oh… well, can I have a large cheese pizza and a cheeseburger?”

    Me: “Sir, it is closing time. We’re done for the day. And we don’t serve burgers.”

    Drunk Customer: “Okay, can you just…uuuhhhhh…make me a pizza really fast then?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we’re closing.”

    Drunk Customer: “COME ON! IT’S 10 PM, I’M HUNGRY, AND ALL I WANT IS A PIZZA!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 10:01. We are closed.”

    Drunk Customer: *unusually calm* “Okay…I’ll go to McDonald’s.”

    Me: “Good night, sir.”

    Drunk Customer: “Good night…I love you…” *hangs up*

    (Quite frankly, it made my day.)

    A Whale Of A Story

    | Alaska, USA | Top

    Tourist: “Are you from here?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Tourist: “We are here to see the whales.”

    Me: “Oh, that sounds exciting.”

    Tourist: “So is there some little place known only to locals where you can watch the whales lay their eggs?”

    Me: *trying not to die laughing* “Um…yes there is, but we really aren’t supposed to tell the tourists.”

    Tourist: “Come on, please? We’ve come a long way. There’s big tip in it for you.”

    Me: “Well, okay. If you go down to the beach around 2am, make really loud whale calls and wave your arms around, it will make them feel welcome. They will swim up to you, dig a hole in the sand with their fins and lay their eggs.”

    (I always wondered if she went.)

    Pepperoni And A Side Of Dentures, Please

    , | Oregon, USA |

    Me: “[Pizza place], what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a large cheese pizza.”

    Me: “Great. Anything else for you today?”

    Customer: “Um…yeah. Could you undercook that? Most of the people eating the pizza don’t have teeth.”

    I’ll Take A Schizo With Cheese

    , | Omaha, NE, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a churro.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve churros. For desserts we have caramel apple empanadas or cinnamon twists if you want to try one of those.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want dessert! I want an enchilada!”

    Me: “You mean an enchirito?”

    (The customer pulls forward without saying anything. I ask a coworker to verify the order at the window because the guy wasn’t making sense.)

    Coworker at the window: “You ordered a beef enchirito, correct?”

    Customer: “NO! I wanted a gordita!”

    Fatheaded

    , | Newton, MA, USA |

    Customer: “What’s the difference between low-fat and non-fat yogurt?”

    Me: “Well, the low-fat has only a small amount of fat whereas the non-fat has none at all.”

    Customer: “What’s fat?”

    Me: “…”


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