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    Avoiding A Hair-Raising Situation

    | Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (Our mom takes us through the drive through of a fast food joint known for frozen custard. We all have one, and as we are driving away and eating, three of us discovered long hairs in our custard. We go back through the drive through and my mother tells them what happened. The poor teen on the mic sounds so nervous when my mom calmly explains the situation. They give us free replacements. We get to the window and instead of the kid, it’s the manager.)

    Manager: *hands my mom the tray of three custards as well as a handful of tokens for a free scoop of custard*

    Mom: “What is this for?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, so many customers in your situation would have screamed at my poor employees and terrified them. The other day, a customer came up to the counter and screamed at and verbally abused the fifteen-year-old girl at the register because he found a very small piece of onion on his burger when he had asked for none because he doesn’t like the smell of them. And other people would try to sue us for that. So I am giving these to you as a thank you.”

    Mom: “Oh, wow. You’re welcome, I guess.”

    (Our custard was delicious and hair free, though it melted rather quickly once we got to the park as it was the summer. Good thing we had dishes and not cones!)

    Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics

    | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m waitressing at a small restaurant when a young mother with a toddler walks in accompanied by the mother’s grandfather. I seat them and they order. The grandfather orders the chicken fried steak which is soft enough that a knife isn’t necessary so one normally isn’t given with the meal. This happens as I drop off their plates.)

    Grandfather: *looks at his plate then up at me angrily* “WHERE THE F*** IS MY KNIFE? HUH? HOW THE F*** AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS—”

    (Suddenly the mother slaps her hand onto the table hard enough that all the dishware jumps, the toddler yelps, and the grandfather is startled into silence.)

    Toddler: “Uh oh. Mama MAD. Not me did it!”

    Mother: *looks at the grandfather with a look of pure fury* “You do NOT speak to people that way! Do you understand? Now, I told you, if I’m going to take you out to eat then you WILL be on your best behavior. Now you will either apologize to this young lady or you can go sit in the car by yourself and be hungry. Everyone else in the family might be willing to put up with your attitude but not me! So you got two options: apologize or leave.”

    Grandfather: *crosses his arms and sulks*

    Mother: “Apologize or car. NOW.”

    Grandfather: *sighs* I’m sorry for saying those things to you.”

    Me: “Thank you for apologizing, sir. Now, that was a steak knife you needed?”

    Grandfather: “Yes.”

    Mother: *crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows at him*

    Grandfather: *looking like he bit into a lemon* “Please.”

    (The mother smiles and I turn my attention to her.)

    Me: “And anything for you, ma’am?”

    Mother: “More napkins, please.”

    Me: “Okay! I’ll be right out with those.”

    (The rest of the meal passes by in complete silence with the grandfather sulking the whole time. I drop off their check, the mother tucks it under her arm, drops a tip on the table, then turns around and helps her son put on his jacket. While her back is turned the grandfather quickly picks up the tip, stuffs it in his jacket pocket, and scurries out. Finishing with her child the mother leads him over to the counter and places the check on the counter. I’m struggling with myself on whether or not I should tell her about what her grandfather did.)

    Mother: *watches me for a minute* “Well, you obviously want to say something so say it! I’m sorry for the way my grandpa acted. I’m working on teaching him manners. But, if you have something to say feel free to speak up. So long as it’s said respectfully I can listen.*

    Me: “It’s… um… just that your… um, grandfather took the tip money while your back was turned.”

    Mother: “HE WHAT?!”

    (Leaving her son there the mother storms off back to the table, audibly gasps when she sees the lack of money, practically runs back to the register, scoops up her child, and leaves. Through the window I see her walk to the passenger side of the car, point to the grandfather, mouth the words ‘big trouble,’ and open the back-seat passenger door. The grandfather moves down in his seat a little bit, the mother calmly buckles her kid into the car, closes the door, then opens the grandfather’s door. I can’t hear what’s being said but it’s obvious that whatever she’s screaming has the grandfather shrinking in his seat until he is literally hiding his head in his jacket. The mother suddenly reaches forward, snatches something from him, slams the car door, and comes back inside.)

    Mother: “The nerve of some people! My goodness! I am so so sorry for my grandfather’s antics. Thank you. though. for being honest. *I ring up her transaction* I was going to give you a bit for being so patient with him but I think you deserve a bit extra. As for him, well, he can stay home eating cold ham and cheeses sandwiches for a few days. We’ll see how well he likes that!”

    (The mother tipped me generously then left. They did come in the following week but this time the grandfather was much better behaved!)

    Driven To Make A Mis-Steak

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (Our family walks into a nice steakhouse at two in the afternoon, due to weather and personal delays. Fortunately, they are still serving customers. A large car is outside of the door, its engine still running. As we are waiting to be seated, an older gentleman walks up to the maître d’.)

    Old Customer: “Is your valet usually this busy?”

    Host: “I’m sorry?”

    Old Customer: “My car has been sitting outside for almost an hour now and it’s still there! He must have been very busy running around parking and fetching cars. Make sure you pay him better. It’s very cold outside right now.”

    Host: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t offer valet parking services for lunch hours. Valet service is only available for dinner.”

    Old Customer: “Oh… I left my keys in my car!”

    (The old gentleman quickly walked out and parked his car. He returned a few minutes later and thanked the host. Good thing this was a relatively safe neighborhood!)

    In Hot Soup Now

    | The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

    (I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

    Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    When You Know You’ve Worked Too Many Doubles

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working the drive-thru late at night when a man pulls up to the window wearing a latex horse mask; his friend in the passenger’s seat is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.)

    Driver: “Evening. I’d like some cheese, please.”

    (I stand there for a few seconds, wondering if I’m dreaming.)

    Me: “…you mean a cheeseburger?”

    Driver: “No, just a slice of cheese, thanks.”

    (Without breaking my line of sight with the driver, I grab a single slice of cheese and give it to him.)

    Driver: “Thank you. Would you like a turtle?”

    (The passenger reaches into the back seat and pulls from it a large snapping turtle.)

    Me: “No thank you, sir.”

    Driver: “You sure? His name’s Waylon.”

    Me: “I’m sure, sir.”

    Driver: “Well, have a nice night.”

    (I have yet to tell any of my co-workers about this in fear of them laughing and saying I made it up.)

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