(A friend and I go boating one weekend with our wives and decide to stop at a diner for breakfast. My friend’s wife is looking over the menu and is having a hard time deciding what to get.)
Friend’s Wife: *to the waitress* “Can I make my own omelet? I mean, can I get one with whatever I want?”
Waitress: “Oh absolutely! Tell me what you want and we’ll make it up for you.”
Friend’s Wife: “Okay, great. I’ll have the Super, Premium, Deluxe omelet but take out the bacon, take out the sausage, take out the peppers, take out the onions, take out the mushrooms and take out the cheddar cheese. Put in some steak and American cheese.”
Waitress: *with an exasperated look* “So you want an omelet with steak and American cheese?”
Friend’s Wife: “Yes! Oh, and throw some ham in there, too.”
(A little bit later we get our food and my friend’s wife, immediately starts picking all the ham out and puts it to the side. She then just picks at the omelet but never eats any of it. The waitress stops by to check up on us.)
Waitress: “Is everything all right? Is there something wrong with the omelet?”
Friend’s Wife: “Oh, no. I just don’t like eggs.”
(We make various frozen drinks made from primarily milk, ice, and fruit flavored syrup. We have real fruit available and some customers request we make them with that so they are healthier. Note: we are also located in a mall.)
Customer: “Can I get one of those frozen drinks?”
(I start making her drink and begin adding syrup.)
Customer: “Oh, no, can you make it like they do at the health club?”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want it made with real fruit?”
Customer: “No, I just want it made like they do in the health club.”
Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know how they make drinks. I didn’t even know we had a health club in the mall.”
Customer: “No, it’s not in the mall. It’s the health club! Can’t you just make it like they do?”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve never been to your health club and really don’t know how they make their drinks.”
(She leaves, looking dejected.)
Customer: “I just wanted it like they make them in the health club.”
(I work in a Chinese takeout, and our debit/credit machine has a few steps to it: verify total, tip screen, verify total, PIN, and THEN it begins to process the transaction. The steps are clearly labelled. In this particular transaction, I have entered the total manually and handed the machine to the customer, and he has apparently gone through the steps with relative ease until this happens while the machine is processing.)
Customer: “Hang on, what the hell is this? You said my total was [amount] but now it says [much higher amount]. What did it do?”
Me: *presses the ‘Cancel’ button as fast as possible*
Customer: “What’s wrong with your machine?”
Me: *glances at the ‘Cancelled’ print out, to verify what happened, very quickly folds it up and hands both copies to the customer* “These receipts just say that it didn’t go through, if you want to keep those.”
Customer: “I don’t want to keep those; why would I want to keep this?”
Me: “I really think you do, sir. It looks like you entered your PIN number in the tip screen.”
(The kicker? He would have had to enter his PIN twice to get the transaction to that point. I would have thought that would have been a warning sign. Then again, the fact that one of the steps clearly says ‘TIP’ should have been one too.)
I work at this buffet, which only serves Breakfast & Dinner on Sundays.
Me: *Long usual intro*
Customer: That can’t be the right price! Isn’t it lunch time!?
Me: On any other day, yes, it would be lunch time, but on Sundays, we do not serve lunch.
Customer: No! It’s only 2:30!! Your dinner prices start at 3:30
Me: I’m sorry maa’m. Like I mentioned, on Sundays, we do not serve lunch & it is currently dinner.
Customer: Get your manager! You’re overcharging me!
Me: *Calls manager to the front*
Manager: *Comes to front* Yes, what can I help you with?
Customer: You guys are overcharging me!! It is currently lunch time!
Manager: I’m sorry, but on Sundays we do not serve lunch, it jumps from breakfast to dinner.
Customer: *Angry grunt noise* Whatever! Just ring me up! This is the last time I eat here!
(It’s Valentine’s Day, and we offer heart shaped pizzas on this day, so you can probably imagine how busy it is. I am on phones and I didn’t leave my spot the whole night because the phone was ringing non-stop.)
Me: “[Restaurant], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, so I got this f****** heart shaped pizza and it doesn’t even look like a heart. It looks like a distorted spade. It looks mushed-up and gross. And it took way too long! Two and a half hours for a pizza!”
(The wait time for delivery has been up to 3 hours and 45 minutes.)
Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We can send you another or give you a voucher.”
Customer: “No, I don’t ever want to ever f***ing order from here again. It doesn’t even look like a heart! It’s a frigging spade! I’m taking pictures and posting it online!”
Me: “Have you tried flipping this pizza around?”
Customer: “Mhmph.” *shuffling of box noise* “Okay, you got me on that! But this is unacceptable! Let me talk to your manager!”