Of Quick Comebacks And Minute Men

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Top

(The store is very small with 2 registers and we call customers over one at a time to prevent overcrowding. A customer walks over to register with his wife, without being called.)

Me: “Oh, hold on there, sir. You came too fast.”

Customer’s Wife: “Story of my life.”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

Now Made With Real Vegetarians

, | Hull, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “There is no pasta in my pastarami sandwich, just some meat.”

Me: “It’s Pastrami, peppered beef–not pastarami.”

Customer: “Oh, can I change it please? I’m vegetarian.”

GPS Needs Some Maine-tenance

| Boise, ID, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Okay, which sandwiches off the menu would you like?”

Customer: “I want olives.”

Me: “Yes, but what kind of meat, sauce, cheese? We have our recipes up there for you.”

Customer: “Look, all I want is olives. And sauerkraut.”

Me: “I don’t have any sauerkraut for you sir.”

Customer: “They have sauerkraut at other places! Like in Maine!”

Me: “But not here. I’m sorry. And we are not in Maine.”

Customer: *deadly serious and worried* “We’re not?”

Disappointed By A Lack Of Disappointment

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “How long is your wait right now?”

Me: “There is no wait at the moment.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

Me: “That you don’t have to wait for a table.”

Caller: “But how long is the wait?”

Me: “There is none. You will be seated right away.”

Caller: “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me!”

Misunderstanding The Great Melting Pot

| Bay Area, CA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, what would you like to order?”

Customer: “Can I get some bread sticks?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have bread sticks.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I get… what was it called? Chow mein?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, we don’t serve chow mein. We have something like that called yaki udon, though.”

Customer: “What? Why don’t you have chow mein?”

Me: “That is a Chinese dish and this is a Japanese restaurant.”

Customer: “They’re different?!”

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