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    Fatheaded

    , | Newton, MA, USA |

    Customer: “What’s the difference between low-fat and non-fat yogurt?”

    Me: “Well, the low-fat has only a small amount of fat whereas the non-fat has none at all.”

    Customer: “What’s fat?”

    Me: “…”

    The Adventures Of Captain Obvious

    , , , , | Everywhere |

    Me: “Would you like the 4-piece meal or the 6-piece meal?”
    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    ——–

    Me: “Would you like the quarter pound classic burger or the half pound classic burger?”
    Customer: “Which one is bigger?”

    ——–

    Customer: “How big is the 6 inch?”

    ——–

    Customer: “How many come in a four-pack?”

    ——–

    Customer: “Is your Sunday special on Sundays only?”

    ——–

    Customer: “Does your turkey chic pea chili soup have beef in it?”

    ——–

    Customer: “What flavor is your vanilla ice cream?”

    ——–

    Customer: “What’s the difference between the lemon and the vanilla?”

    ——–

    Customer: “Hi, do you sell books here?”
    Me: “This is a bookstore, ma’am.”

    ——–

    Me: “Thank you for calling Pittsford Plaza Cinema, how may I help you?”
    Customer: “Yes, hello. Are you located in the Pittsford Plaza?”

    ——–

    Me: “Thank you for calling Saltgrass Steakhouse in Meyerland Plaza where our gift cards make great holiday stocking stuffers. How may I assist you?”
    Customer: “Hi, is this Saltgrass?”
    Me: “Yes.”
    Customer: “In Meyerland right?”
    Me: “Yes…”
    Customer: “Do you have giftcards?”‘
    *click*

    Natural Selection In Action

    , | New Jersey, USA |

    (A man walks in and is very excited about getting a cheese steak.)

    Customer: “Let me get everything on that, but no tomatoes!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, it doesn’t come with tomatoes.”

    Customer: “Good! No tomatoes though, man. Absolutely no tomatoes! I’m allergic to tomatoes, man.”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    Customer: “Good. Just make sure there’s no tomatoes ’cause I’m really allergic to them and I could die. If you put tomatoes on there it will kill me!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Now let me get extra ketchup.”

    Me: “…”

    Racism Rears Its Ugly Head, Gets Decapitated

    , | Charlottesville, VA, USA |

    (Working at a sandwich place across the street from my college campus. One of my Spanish professors enters, and we chat in Spanish as I make her food. Another man comes in while we’re chatting, and stares at us.)

    Customer: “What the hell? Don’t you dare coddle that job-stealing Mexican!”

    Me: “Sir, that woman is a Ph.D. I can guarantee you, she did not steal your job. Oh, and she’s from New York. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: *storms out*

    When Mood Swings Attack, Part 2

    , | Waterloo, IL, USA |

    Click here to view the comic version of this quote!

    (Backstory: A woman orders a Reuben sandwich and returns to the counter 30 minutes later with about a fourth of the sandwich eaten.)

    Woman: “I want to speak to your manager right now!”

    Crew member: “Sure, no problem.” *goes and gets manager*

    Manager: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Woman: “Yeah, I got this reuben at 4 pm and it’s SOGGY!”

    Manager: “Well, ma’am, you purchased it half an hour ago…”

    Woman: “Well, I want a new one!”

    Manager, hoping to get the looney out of the store: “Sure, no problem.”

    (Suddenly, the woman goes from angry to flat-out crazy.)

    Woman: “HERE’S YOUR DELICIOUS REUBEN!!!” *rubs sauce on counter and throws part of sandwich at manager*

    Manager: *dumbfounded*

    Woman: “I’m sorry…it’s not your fault.”

    Manager: “…It’s alright…”

    Woman: *thinks for a second, then throws remaining sandwich bits at manager*

    (We all laughed quite hysterically, and our manager walked around with reuben sauce on his crotch all day.)

    Related:
    When Mood Swings Attack


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