November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Give One, Get One Free

| United Kingdom | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top, Uncategorized

(I’m waiting in line after ordering a cheeseburger. Another customer is being particularly annoying.)

Server: “Your cheeseburger’s ready sir. That’ll be £2.80.”

Me: *handing over money* “Thanks.”

Other customer: “Hey! Why’s he getting his first? We were here first, that’s mine!”

Server: “He ordered a cheeseburger. They’re quicker to make than double bacon burgers. Yours will be done in a minute.”

Other customer: “I want that one! That one is mine!”

(I nod to the server, and they hand the woman the burger.)

Other customer: “This has got cheese in it! And no bacon! Are trying to rip me off?!”

Server: “You said you wanted that one rather than what you ordered.”

Other customer: “This is appalling! I’m going elsewhere. You can’t get your orders in the right order!” *slams cheese burger on van shelf then walks off*

Server, to me: *smiling* “Would you like a free bacon burger with your cheeseburger?”

History (Deep) Pans Out

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History, Language & Words

(A Native Canadian customer comes into the store with five small children.)

Customer: “Why do the Deluxe and the Hawaiian pizza cost the same? One has more toppings!”

Me: “To be honest, I’m not really sure. That’s just the way the company works, I guess.”

Customer: “Well, can I get a discount for the Hawaiian, then? It has five less toppings!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”

Customer: *long pause* “You’re a cruel person.”

Me: “Come again?”

Customer: “Your people come here, give diseases, kill us all, steal our land, put our children in residential schools, and now this!”

Unable To Bridge The Gap

| Nevada, USA | Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer:“Where is it?”

Me: “Where is what?”

Customer:“The bridge! The bridge over the lake.”

Me:“I’m sorry, sir, but there is no bridge over the lake.”

(The customer points to a local map.)

Customer: “There is, it’s right there! A bridge.”

Me: “Sir, that would be the state line that you are pointing at. It’s the line that separates California from Nevada. The state line.”

Customer:“Oh…so there’s no bridge?”

Waiter Hater

| Dallas, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(A man and his girlfriend walk in to our restaurant.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [restaurant]. I’ll be your server tonight.”

Customer: “Yeah. What happened to your nose?”

(I instinctively touch my nose to feel if anything is wrong with it.)

Customer: “Gotcha! I made you touch your nose.”

Me: “Yes, very amusing sir. Now may I interest you in–”

Customer: “You’re zipper is undone.”

Me: “Oh, but I’m not wearing pants with a zipper.”

Customer: “But you probably didn’t notice your pants are split open!”

Customer’s girlfriend: “I’m sorry, I should have just left him at home with a bowl of kibble and water.”

When Matter Doesn’t Matter

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have Gatorade?”

Me: “No, but we do have Powerade.”

Customer: “Does it have electrons in it?”

Me: “No, do you mean electrolytes?”

Customer: “No, electrons.”

Me: “I hope so.”