A Misunderstanding Of Pi

, | Howard Beach, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a large pepperoni pie and a bottle of [soda] delivered to [address].”

Me: “Okay, your total is ***. That’ll be about a half hour. Is that all?”

Customer: “Oh, also, how much extra would it cost to have my pie be 16 slices instead of 8? Because I’m really hungry tonight.”

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head

, | Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for choosing [name], how can I help you?”

(All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

Customer: “Did you get my order?”

Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”

Sweet (Tea) Out Of (Pot) Luck

, | Tennessee, USA | Uncategorized

(We are having our annual Christmas party/potluck dinner one Sunday night at our fast food restaurant. I’ve placed signs showing we are closed and have blocked off the drive thru. One of my fellow employees notices a man standing at the counter.)

Me: “Hi sir, can I help you with something?”

Customer: “I have been standing here for five minutes and I haven’t been helped! Give me a number one with a sweet tea.”

Me: “Well, we are closed on Sundays. This is our Christmas Party.”

Customer: “Closed? All the lights are on!”

Me: “Well, we need them for the party.”

Customer: “I have never heard of such a thing. So I can’t get that number one?”

Me: “No sir, all of our machines are off. We are closed.”

Customer: “What about a sweet tea?”

Me: “Sir, we are closed. We don’t have anything we can give to customers.”

(The customer sees our buffet-style employee potluck.)

Customer: “Well, can I get a plate?”

Gobble Grunt Gobble

| San Jose, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys sold male chicken?”

Me: “We do sell chicken, but I am not sure we know the gender.”

Customer: “But someone told me that you guys sold male chicken for Thanksgiving dinners.”

Me: “Thanksgiving dinner? Are you talking about a turkey?”

Customer: “Yeah! The male chicken!”

He Prefers The Strong And Silent Type

| Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

(An older customer enters the restaurant and walks straight to the bar where I’m drying glasses. Note that I’m female.)

Me: “Yes sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “No, that won’t do.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “That’s a weak mentality. None of this, ‘Yes sir, no sir,’ business. You need to have confidence in yourself, men don’t like women without confidence!”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry sir. See, my job is–”

Customer: “Still with the yes sir, no sir! I don’t like it. Stop it!”

Me: *says nothing*

Customer: “Better.” *walks off to a table*

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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