Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,923 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    In The Name Of All That Is Cheesy

    , | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling *** Pizza, would you like the special?”

    Caller: “No thanks, I’d just like a large Quattro Cheese pizza.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    Caller: “And… no feta on one side.”

    Me: “Okay, no feta on one side.”

    Caller: “I mean it! NO feta on the one side! GOD HELP YOU IF THERE IS FETA!”

    Me: “Okay, no feta on one side!”

    A Sticky Proposition

    | Amsterdam, Holland |

    Me: “Would you like mayonnaise on your croquette?”

    Customer: “Yes, please… but not on the croquette itself. Do you have a cup or something?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, well… just put it in my hand, then.”

    Me: “… Mayonnaise?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: ‘… in your hand?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes!”

    Me: “Are you sure?”

    Customer: Yes!”

    Me: *fills the customer’s hand with mayonnaise*

    Customer: “Thank you!” *smiles and leaves*

    Me, to my manager: “I need a break.”

    Right Next To The Special Chinese Gefeltifish

    | Omaha, NE, USA |

    Customer: “Miss, I need some ranch for my crab rangoon.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Ma’am, we don’t serve ranch here.”

    Customer: “What kind of g**d**ned Chinese restaurant doesn’t have ranch? What? You don’t have barbeque sauce either?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t. I’m very sorry. I could walk down to the pizza place next door and get you a container of ranch.”

    Customer: “NO! I WANT YOUR SPECIAL CHINESE RANCH!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we do not serve ‘special Chinese ranch.’ I’m very sorry, but like I said, I ca–”

    Customer: “WHATEVER, YOU G**D**NED C**T!” *storms out*

    All Signs Point To No

    , | Oregon, USA |

    (A customer pulls up and parks in a handicapped spot in front of the store.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll take a fresh squeezed orange juice.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, we just cleaned our juicer and the chemical that we use had to dry or else it’s toxic. We won’t be able to squeeze any juice until tomorrow.”

    Customer: “What the f***? This is the second time this has happened.”

    Me: “Well, we clean it a half hour before we close–”

    Customer: “You should put up a sign!”

    Me: “Oh, um. Well, I’ll mention that to my manager–”

    Customer: “PUT UP A SIGN!”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t have the authority to do that, but I’ll–”

    Customer: “JUST PUT UP A SIGN!”

    Me: “Oh, and you’re parked in a handicapped zone.”

    Customer: “THEY SHOULD–”

    Me: “Yes, they have a sign up, sir.”

    Gotta Love Them Regulars

    , | Cottage Grove, MN, USA |

    (This very friendly woman come in 3-4 days a week, and I am usually the one who winds up taking her money at the window.)

    Me: ¬†”Hi, it’ll be two dollars.”

    Customer: ¬†”Oh, you got your braces off! They look so nice!”

    Me: ¬†”Oh… thank you!”

    Customer: ¬†”And you got your hair cut!”

    Me: ¬†”Yes, I did!”

    Customer: ¬†”… I come here a little too often, don’t I?”

    Related:
    Why (Good) Regulars Really Rock

    Page 193/227First...191192193194195...Last