A Cheese By Any Other Name

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Top

Me: *greeting the table* “Hello, how are y’all do–”

Customer: *interrupting* “Do you have cheese dip?”

Me: “Yes, we have queso.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want queso! I want cheese dip!”

Me: “…”

Customer’s 5-year-old daughter: “Daddy, queso is cheese.”

Customer: “Hush!” *looks at me* “What kind of Mexican restaurant doesn’t have cheese dip?”

Me: “Sir, we have cheese dip, but here we call it queso.”

Customer: “Fine! Bring out this ‘queso’ and I’ll let YOU know if it’s cheese dip or not!”

Employee Of The Year, Part 2

, | New Zealand |

(I’m English and backpacking in New Zealand. I’ve just started work in a fast food place and am on the drive through for the first time.)

Manager: “Okay. What you have to do is talk to the customers and make them feel really welcome. Get a bit chatty if you can.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Watch this…”

(A customer drives down to my window to pay for his food.)

Me: “Hey there, how you doing? That will be [price].”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Whereabouts in England?”

Me: “Hull.”

Customer: “ME TOO! I’m from *** Road!”

Me: “Sweet, I grew up just round the corner from there! Was it a nightmare having them build the new stadium right on your doorstep?”

Customer: “No way! Yer, was a right pain! Speaking of which, did you see the Tigers play the other night?”

Me: “Nah, I missed it. I was working. I heard the result though, get it!”

Customer: “Let’s see if we come out on top at the end of the season! Anyway, I best go pick up my food. I am sure you have other customers to serve. My name is *** by the way. What’s yours?”

Me: “I’m ***.”

(We shake hands through the window.)

Customer: “Nice to meet you man. I will be sure to see you around.”

Me: “Yeah, have a good day mate!”

(The customer drives to the next window. I turn to look at my manager who has a look of total disbelief.)

Me: “And that’s how you do that.”

Manager: “Yeah, I will leave you to it. I think you got the hang of it!”

Related:
Employee Of The Year

Johnny Something-Seed

| Baltimore, MD, USA |

(I’m a cashier at a cafe-style restaurant.)

Me: “Can I help you sir?”

Customer: “Sure, I’d like the turkey sandwich with everything on it.”

Me: “Okay, and what side would you like with that: chips, bread, or an apple?”

Customer: “An apple? What’s an apple?”

Me: “…a red fruit.”

Customer: “Oh! I’ll take that.”

Math Is Your Friend, Part 4

| Ohio, USA |

Customer: “What’s the difference between the three fingers and finger fingers?”

Me: “Well, the three fingers comes with three chicken fingers, and the five fingers comes with five.”

Customer: “So, which one has more chicken?”

Me: “The five fingers.”

Customer: “Are the five fingers bigger?”

Me: “No, the chicken fingers are the exact same size. You just get two more with the five fingers.”

Customer: “This is too confusing! I’ll just have a cheeseburger.”

Related:
Math Is Your Friend, Part 3
Math Is Your Friend, Part 2
Math Is Your Friend

Clucks Can Be Deceiving

| Ohio, USA |

Customer: “Hi, I just ordered sweet and sour chicken from your establishment, and one of my pieces of chicken is shaped like a fish.”

Me: “Well, the chicken is in all different shapes, ma’am.”

Customer: “So it’s not fish? It’s still chicken?”

Me: “Uh, yes.”

Customer: “Oh, OK!”

Page 192/243First...190191192193194...Last