Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,835 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Red + Blue = Purple (Bruises)

    , | Central Illinois, USA |

    (It’s a slow night at our fast food/sandwich shop, so we’re chatting with the customers. ¬†This particular customer is a regular, and is discussing birthday presents with my coworker.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I got my kids guns for their birthdays!”

    Coworker: “How old are they?!”

    Customer: “In their 20s.”

    Coworker, shocked: “But guns kill people!”

    Customer: “Well, they may need to protect themselves someday, you know.”

    Coworker: “From what? Wild animals?”

    Customer: “No, from Democrats!”

    (My coworker gets very offended, and a rather loud debate ensues between them as I try helplessly to control my laughter.)

    Don’t Press Your Luck

    , | Lowell, MA, USA |

    Me: “Welcome to ***, may I take your order?”

    Drive-thru customer: “Yeah, I’ll take the double cheeseburger.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like to make it a value meal?”

    Drive-thru customer: *screaming* “DON’T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE! IF I WANTED A VALUE MEAL, I WOULD HAVE SAID VALUE MEAL!”

    Me: “Fine, that will be $1.87 at window two.”

    (He drives up, I take his money and hand him the food.)

    Drive-thru customer: “I’m gonna need ketchup for the fries.”

    Me: “Sir, you only ordered the sandwich, not the value meal. I can ring up an order of fries now if you’d like.”

    Drive-thru customer: “No, you screwed up my order! I’m NOT paying for extra fries!”

    (Fed up, I throw some fries in a bag and hand them to him.)

    Customer: “Wait, is it too late to substitute onion rings??”

    Me: *slams window shut*

    He Obviously Gets His Smarts From Mom

    | New Lenox, IL, USA |

    Little Boy: “Can I have a medium Icee?”

    Me: “Sure! ¬†That’ll be $1.48.”

    (The little boy hands me $1.50 and I give him his change.  He scampers off to get his Icee as his dad stomps up.)

    Dad: “Can I get another medium Icee for my daughter?”

    Me: “Sure, It’s $1.48.”

    (The dad pays and I give him his cup.  By this time the boy is back, happily drinking his Icee and standing next to his dad.)

    Dad: (rudely) “WELL?! Where’s my Icee!?”

    Me: (confused) “Uh, the cup is right there, sir.”

    (The little boy is trying to get his dad’s attention to tell him where the Icee machine is located (it’s self serve). However, the dad is ignoring him and yelling at me.)

    Dad: “I PAID FOR AN ICEE, NOW WHERE IS MY ICEE!?”

    Me: “Sir, the machine is around the corner.”

    Dad: “Finally! God, are you simple or something?!”

    Me: “!?”

    On The Plus Side, You Can Cuss All You Want

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA |

    Me: “Can I start you off with something to drink?”

    Half-deaf customer: “I’D LIKE THE FISH!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, can I get you something to drink?”

    Half-deaf customer: “HE’LL TAKE THE STEAK!”

    Hulk Smash Weasel Customer

    | Northville, MI, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ******, my name is Ken. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Do you guys make custom deep dish pizza’s?”

    Me: “If by ‘custom’ you mean like a chef’s choice, then yes, we do.”

    Customer: “And how much is that?”

    Me: “Well, a regular sized deep dish, with tax included, will come to $18.01. With that, you get a choice of three toppings.”

    Customer: “Great, then gimme a pizza with half pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms. On the other half I want roasted veggies, bacon, and spinach.

    Me: “Okay sir, now I must warn you that your new total comes to $24.37 because you have six items total.”

    Customer: “What? No, I have three items on each side. Therefore, I should be fine.”

    Me: “Sir, I do apologize for the misunderstanding. While it is true that you have three items on each side, the items are on ONE whole pizza. So, we have to charge you for the three extra toppings.”

    Customer: “Now listen here! One regular deep dish is equal to two individuals, correct?”

    Me: “Yes, but–”

    Customer: “HEY, Shut up for a second! Now, two individuals are equal to one regular. CORRECT?”

    Me: “Yes sir, it is.”

    Customer: “Now using this logic, I should get my pizza for the price of two individuals.”

    Me: “Sir, as much as I would like to agree with you, I simply can’t–”

    Customer: “Let me see your manager. It’s obvious I can’t reason with you.”

    (My manager comes up to deal with the situation. I walk away from the scene to seat some guests, when I hear…)

    Manager: “HEY, 3+3=6, YOU HAVE 6 TOPPINGS, SO YOU OWE $24.37! HAVE A NICE DAY!”

    (The guy quietly paid for his food and walked out like someone just threatened his life!)


    Page 188/213First...186187188189190...Last