November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Manly Beers Are Truly Cosmopolitan

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(The bar has 100 beers on draft and 207 in bottle. We give customers a beer menu due to the large number of beers that are constantly changing.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Can I get you started with something to drink?”

Customer: “I’d like a beer. What have you got on draft?”

Me: “Well, sir, we have 100 beers on draft. I can give you a minute to look over the menu if you like. I know there’s quite a lot to choose from.”

Customer: “I don’t want to read this. Just tell me what you got.”

Me: “I haven’t quite memorized them sir. They change almost every day. I can recommend something if you like. Or you can try one of our beers of the month.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want anything fruity. I’m no pansy see? What dark beers you got?”

(I list a few dark lagers, ports, and stouts. The customer and I go back and forth for a few minutes because he doesn’t recognize anything. I offer to get him samples to make the process easier.)

Customer: “Ah, forget it. I’ll just get a mojito.”

Must Have Settled On Salt & Whinegar

| Oakland, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working the register. A customer is looking at our retail chips stacked in front of me.)

Customer: “I don’t like this flavor.”

(She picks up a bag of sea salt chips.)

Customer: “I don’t like this kind either. It’s too salty.”

(She grabs a bag of jalapeno chips.)

Customer: “These ones are too spicy.”

(This goes on for a minute or so. She eventually finds something she likes and places it at the register.)

Me: “Hi there. How are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t complain.”

Forget The Coupon, Just Wing It

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve got coupon for 12 wings free. But, it says it excludes boneless wings. So, I was wondering if I could place an order and get the boneless wings free.”

Me: “Sir, if it says it excludes the boneless wings, then I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Oh. So, even if I cross it off, it won’t work?”

Beer Is Sold On A Case By Case Basis

| Fort Smith, AR, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, welcome to [drive in]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’d like a deluxe burger and a fry.”

Me: “Did you want to make that a combo today, and add a drink for only fifty cents more?”

Customer: “Well, shoot! Yeah, give me a beer.”

Me: “Sir, this is a drive in. We don’t serve beer.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because this is a drive in. It’s illegal to drink and drive.”

Customer: “I bet you’d get a lot more business if you sold beer.”

Needs A Good Dressing Down

| Poulsbo, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am making a customer a salad. She is listing off what she wants on it.)

Me: “So that was oil, vinegar, and honey mustard for the dressings?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I proceed to put them on.)

Customer: “I didn’t want honey mustard.”

Me: “I just asked you if you wanted it, and you said yes.”

Customer: “I never said I wanted it.”

(To avoid confrontation, I set it aside and make a new one. I finish putting all the dressings on, except the honey mustard.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Would you like anything else on it?”

Customer: “You know what, I will try some honey mustard on it after all.”