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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Not The Only Thing In Need Of Maintenance

    , | Saskatchewan, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (We’re closed for maintenance, and have shut off all the exterior lights, including those in drive-thru. We also put a sign on the drive-thru menu stating we’re closed. A car pulls into drive-thru, and I put on a headset. All of this takes places via drive-thru speaker.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m sorry, but we’re currently closed for maintenance. Our other location down the street will be happy to serve you.”

    Customer: “Hey, we just need a minute. Your lights are off, and it’s hard to see the menu.”

    Me: “Sorry, I said we’re closed for maintenance. That’s why the lights are off.”

    Customer: “Okay, we’re ready.”

    Me: “Sorry, I said we’re closed. Our other store just a few blocks down the street will be happy to help.”

    (The customer says their order.)

    Customer: “Hello? Did you get that?”

    Me: *gives up* “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed due to the store being closed for maintenance. For service in English, please press one.” *switches to French* “Pour service en Francais, poussez le deux.” *switches to Spanish* “Para el servicio en Español, presione por favor el numero tres.”

    (Faint laughter as the rest of the car’s passengers start laughing.)

    Customer: “Uh…” *whispers* “What do I do?” *laughter from other passengers* “Uh… one?”

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Our hours of operation are 7 am to 3 am, except today, because we are closed… due… to… maintenance. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!”

    (Squeal of tires as the car peels away, the rest of the passengers killing themselves laughing.)

    Best Not Order The French Fries

    | Tennessee, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Uncategorized

    (I come in on my day off to get my paycheck. My boss asks me to help with a table of two people who are speaking mostly French before I go. When I am done another customer calls me over.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, don’t you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I do. It’s just my day off today. Would you like me to get your server?”

    Customer: “What were you just talking in? It was some kind of foreign talk. At that other table there?”

    Me: “Oh, I speak a little bit of French, so I was helping the server.”

    Customer: “You can do that?”

    Me: “Do what, sir?”

    Customer: “You can speak French in here? Isn’t that illegal?!”

    Me: “To speak French?”

    Customer: “Yeah! I mean, this is a Mexican restaurant. You could get shot for speaking in French! Or even just thinking about talking in French!”

    Me: “Well–”

    Customer: “Shot!”

    Me: “I don’t think–”

    Customer: “Shot!”

    Me: “Sir–”

    Customer: “SHOT I SAID!”

    Boss: “It’s okay. She was thinking about the words in Spanish.”

    Customer: “Oh good.” *whispers to me* “Don’t ever try to talk in British in here. It won’t end well.”

    (My boss made a gun out of paperclips and attached them to all of my paychecks after that.)

    Meaty Political Issues

    , | Michigan, USA | Food & Drink, Politics, Uncategorized

    (One of the meats we offer is a barbecued shredded beef, which we refer to as Barbacoa.)

    Customer: “I’ll take a burrito with Barack Obama.”

    Me: “One burrito with barbacoa coming up.”

    Customer: “What’d you call it?”

    Me: “Barbacoa.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God. I’m a Republican.”

    Babel-ing On

    | Chula Vista, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Uncategorized

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant] I’ll be your server this evening.”

    Customer: “Habla español?”

    Me: “No sir, I don’t.”

    Customer: “Italian?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “French?”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “Well, then what language do you speak?”

    Flattery Is Fully Charged

    | Wilmington, DE, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello! I’m [name] and I’ll be your server today. Are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “No! You can’t serve me! You’re prettier than I am! You’re damaging my self-esteem!”

    Me: *pause* “Well, you can request another server, if you like?”

    Customer: “Yes! Get me another server. Someone less pretty!”

    (Another waitress comes out. She’s perfectly good-looking, but visibly older than the customer whereas I’m younger, so we figured that would be okay.)

    Waitress: “May I take your order, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No no no! I asked for someone who isn’t pretty! Doesn’t this place employ ugly people?!”

    (In the end, after deciding that even the male servers were far too good-looking, she left us feeling flattered, but very confused.)

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