July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2

| Green Bay, WI, USA | Math & Science, Uncategorized

( I work near to a city park where a lot of events like fairs or public concerts are held.)

Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

Caller: “You will be shooting off fireworks tonight, right?”

Me: “We won’t be, but yes, the city is setting off fireworks.”

Caller: “When is that going to happen? When have you scheduled it?”

Me:  “We aren’t scheduling it, but my guess is the city will be shooting them off at around sunset.”

Caller:  “Well, when is that going to happen?”

Me: “I don’t know ma’am.Wwe aren’t in charge of that. Perhaps you want to try calling the park and rec department?”

Caller: “How can you not know when you scheduled the sun to set?”

Related:
The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes

Acting Disorderly

| Madison, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Me: “Are you ready to order?”

Customer: “No, we’re not ready to order yet.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

(I start to walk away.)

Customer: “Hey! Aren’t you going to ask us what we want to eat?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said you didn’t want me to take your order yet.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care what order you ask us in. I just want my food!”

Telling Porkies

| Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(A family sits at a table in a restaurant specializing in steak dishes.)

Me: “Hi guys, welcome to [restaurant]. Let me just tell you about today’s special, the prime rib with–”

Customer: “We don’t need to hear this. Just stop.”

Me:”So, you already know about the special? Great! Would you like to start with any–”

Customer: “No! We’re vegetarians!”

Me: “Oh, alright, well we have a few vegetarian dishes on this–”

Customer: “No! Listen, we know what we want already.”

Me: “Okay, great. Go ahead.”

Customer: “Finally! The kids will have the chicken nuggets, my husband will have the chicken burger, and I’ll have the chicken strip salad.”

Me: “Sure. Anything else?”

Husband: “I’ll have extra bacon on the burger.”

Obviously Not A People Person

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

Bean There, Done That

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans…in Spanish.”

Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”

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