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    He Does Have A Good Point

    , | Munising, MI, USA |

    (A man walks through the service door into the kitchen of the restaurant. I work the drive-thru, right next to the service door.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Man: “Hi, I’d like to order some food.”

    Me: “Um, I think you went in the wrong door, sir.”

    Man: “No, I didn’t. That door says ‘service’ on it.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to go up front to the dining room.”

    Man: “Can’t you just take my order here?”

    Me: “Um, I suppose…”

    (I take his order, make his drink, and the cooks make his food. I hand it to him.)

    Man: “Thanks! I’ll be sure to come back!”

    Me: “Can you use the main door next time?”

    Man: “Why? I got such good service through the service door!”

    (As soon as he leaves, the cooks and I burst out laughing.)

    Me Customer, Me Hungry

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA |

    (A new delivery driver mistakenly delivered the wrong pizza. This is the phone call I got about it, as the manager on duty.)

    Customer: “Hi, I ordered a pizza from you guys a while ago, and they delivered the wrong one.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! What was your order?”

    Customer: “Mushrooms and green onions… the one we got had sausage. We can’t eat sausage! We’re vegetarians!”

    Me: “Okay, do you still have the pizza? We can come by and switch them for you.”

    Customer: “No, we ate it.”

    Me: “You ate it?”

    Customer: “Yes! Now, I’d like to get my money back. It was the wrong pizza.”

    Me: “So… you want me to give you your money back… for a pizza you already ate.”

    Customer: “Well we didn’t LOOK at it, we just ate it.”

    (Eventually we settled the deal by giving the customer some in-store credit. Who doesn’t look at a pizza before they start shoveling it into their mouths?)

    Cool Bosses Make All The Difference

    , | Lewistown, PA, USA |

    Deli Customer: “I’d like the Italian, please.”

    Me: “Would you like any condiments on that? Spicy relish, oil?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like both, please.”

    (I finish making the hoagie and ring up the price which is now $3.20 with the extra condiments.)

    Customer: “Last time I was here, my hoagie was $2.75.”

    Me: “Actually, that’s the price of the regular Italian hoagie. Is that what you wanted instead of the Super Italian?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted the Super.”

    Me: “Well, the Super is $3.00, and with the spicy relish and oil your total comes to $3.20.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Last time it was $2.75!”

    (She walks off to the counter to pay, and complains to the assistant manager.)

    Assistant Manager: “She says she’s coming in tomorrow to complain about you to Mike (the owner).”

    Me: “Oh, great…”

    (The next day…)

    Mike: “You made sure she wanted the Super Italian?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Mike: “And you made sure you checked that you added up the price right?”

    Me: “Yes… so what do you think?”

    Mike: “Psht, f**k her!”

    My Husband, The Mind Reader

    , | Savoy, IL, USA | Top

    (I am almost done making a customer’s sandwich and I ask if she would like anything else on it…)

    Lady: “Yeah, just put whatever else you normally put on it.”

    Me: “Well, I can put on whatever you want me to put on. We don’t have anything that we put on every sandwich. In fact, most are rarely ever the same.”

    Lady: “Look, you don’t have to get smart! Just put whatever else you put on it.”

    Me: “Well, what do you want on it?”

    Lady: “That stuff that you always put on these!”

    Me: “If you just say what it is you want, I will put it on for you.”

    Lady: “That stuff you always put on it!”

    (The lady’s husband walks over.)

    Lady’s husband: “She wants pepper.”

    Beauty And The Beast

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Top

    Me: “Ma’am, could you speak up?”

    Customer: “Yes, sorry. So that’s a large pepperoni pizza and…”

    *incoherent screaming*

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Sorry. Do you have chicken wings?”

    Me: “Yes. Hot, mild, lemon pepper–”

    *incoherent screaming*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Sorry. An order of hot wings, then. Do you have 2-liter drinks?”

    Me: “No, but–”

    *incoherent screaming*

    Me: “Could you ask your friend to please quiet down?”

    Customer: “He just needs some din-din before bed.”

    Me: “Children can be testy this late at night.”

    Customer: “Oh no, it’s my husband.”

    Me: “Is it too late to change your mind?”

    Customer: “Not yet. We got married today.”

    Me: “… congratulations?”

    Related:
    Ah, Marriage
    All Husbands Must Be Kept On A Leash
    Behind Every Man Is An Embarrassed Wife
    Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.


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