Clearer Than Black And White

| Ireland | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I get a milkshake, please?”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Customers friend: “She said what flavor.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought she was saying ‘White flavor’. I just thought that’s what they call vanilla in their country!”

Tea Drag

| Weston, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(I’m waiting to pick up my friend from her shift, when a customer comments on her.)

Customer: “There’s something strange about that lady over there.”

Me: “She’s a wonderful tea-brewer.”

Customer: “Well, there’s something strange about her appearance.”

Me: “Oh, she gets a lot of questions about that. That’s because she was originally born a man.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “As in, she’s a transsexual.”

Customer: “Oh! Does she sing?”

Not In Full Receipt Of Your Faculties

| Downers Grove, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I need a copy of my receipt for an order I had the other day.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I will need the date, your name, the company name, and if you have it, the amount.”

Caller: “Yes, my name is Diane, I’m calling from [Company] and it was for yesterday. The amount was $158.26. No, wait. It was $128.26. At least, that’s what it says on the receipt that I’m holding.”

Me: “So you have the receipt, then?”

Caller: *pause* “Yes! Thanks for your help!” *click*

Too Much Gravy For The Brain

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(I’m a cook in a restaurant that many tourists visit.)

Me: *to waitress* “So, how did everyone like their food?”

Waitress: “The table complained that the meal contains too much sauce.”

Me: “His order gets the sauce on the side.”

Waitress: “Yeah, he complained that he added too much.”

A Complete Ba-SKET Case

| Orlando, FL USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

(At our store, we have a dish called the Bruschetta (bru-SHET-ta) Chicken Pasta. I am delivering a party their food.)

Me: “So that leaves the Bruschetta Chicken Pasta. Here you go.”

Customer: “I didn’t order no bru-SHET-ta! I ordered a bra-SKET-ta pasta!”

(I turn around and put the item back on the tray, pause, then pick the same bowl up again.)

Me: “Bra-sket-ta chicken pasta. Here you go.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

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