An Offer Without A Leg To Stand On

| MD, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer pays at window and continues to sit there.)

Customer: “We could run away together.”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “But we wouldn’t get very far. I don’t have any legs.”

Me: *noticing the handicap tags on the mirror* “How are you driving?”

Customer: “It’s a secret.” *drives away*

A Nugget Of Truth Can Get You In Trouble

, | KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(The fast food restaurant I work at has a bar right behind and our drive-thru stays open until 2 am. Like most fast food places, we cannot serve you in the drive-thru if you aren’t in a car.)

Customer #1: *walks up and bangs on the drive-thru window* “Hey!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer #1: “I want a cheeseburger and some fries. Oh and a shake.”

Customer #2: “And nuggets, don’t forget nuggets!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t serve you unless you are in a car.”

Customer #1: “But I’ve been drinking.”

Me: “I understand, but it’s not safe to have people in the drive-thru when they aren’t in their car.”

Customer #1: “Okay.”

(About 20 minutes later, they pull around very fast, passing the menu. I notice his unfinished beer is sitting between his knees.)

Customer #1: “Okay. I want a cheeseburger–”

Me: “Sir, do you realize that you are now drinking and driving and I can call the police?”

(Customer #1 goes white and starts to drive away.)

Customer #2: *as they pull away* “You forgot my nuggets!”

Customers Are Going Gaga

, | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

(He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

Language Barrier Drives A Wedge Between Us

| Louisville, KY, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(Our snack bar sell typical snack bar type stuff, like popcorn and pretzels, as well as pizzas. Two clearly foreign women come to the counter and look at the menu for a few moments.)

Me: “What can I get you tonight?”

Customer #1: “You have pizza?”

Me: “Yes, I have a cheese pizza coming out of the oven in just a minute, and a pepperoni ready right now.”

Customer #1: “You have wedgie?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #2: “You have wedgie deluxe?”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

(I suddenly realize that they’re trying to say ‘Veggie’.)

Me: “No, we don’t. We only have cheese and pepperoni.”

Customer #1: “No wedgie toppings?”

Me: *trying very hard not to crack up laughing* “No, sorry, just cheese and pepperoni.”

(They thank me and walk away. A few moments later, they return and order the cheese pizza.)

Customer #1: “You should get wedgie. I love it.”

Willy Always Was A Bit Wonky

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like an oompa loompa.”

Me: “Oompa loompa?”

Customer: “Yes, one of those caramel apple oompa loompas!”

Me: “Do you mean an empinada?”

Customer: “That’s exactly what I said.”

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