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    The Dangers Of Using Fishy Logic

    | San Francisco, California | Food & Drink, Geography

    (I work at a fish and chips booth at a 19th-century London convention.)

    Customer: “Hi, I want some chips.”

    Me: “Sure, that’ll be ***. Here are your chips.”

    Customer: “No, I want chips.”

    Me: “These are chips.”

    Customer: “No, they’re french fries.”

    Me: “In England, they’re called chips.”

    Customer: “So? We’re in America.”

    Me: “You’re at a convention set in London.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, they’re called chips in an attempt to be authentic.”

    Customer: “The f***? I’m an American and in America they’re called french fries!”

    Me: “So why aren’t they called American fries?”

    Customer: *stares blankly*

    Joseph Smith’s Great Northern Detour

    | Wellington, New Zealand |

    Drunk Customer: “You’re American! What state are you from??”

    Me: “Actually Sir, I’m from Canada.”

    Drunk Customer: “OH! The MORMON State!”

    Me: “…”

    Lowest Common Denominator: Found

    | Everly, IA, USA |

    (This exchange happened between two co-workers.)

    Waitress: “I need a fourth of a chicken to go, please.”

    Cook: “OK, a quarter chicken it is!”

    Waitress: “NO! I ASKED FOR A FOURTH!”

    Cook: “A quarter and a fourth are the same thing.”

    Waitress: “Oh…is there another word for a half?”

    Our EQ Just Ate Your IQ

    , | Wisconsin, USA |

    (Our restaurant is in walking distance of an assisted living center so many of regulars are special needs adults. We get a regular group of four people who have to make their order the same way every time. The routine involves the four of them reading the menu board for about five minutes and then one of them ordering each of them a hamburger individually.)

    Me: “Hey! What can I get you?”

    Special Needs Adult: “I would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger.”

    (An agitated customer who has been standing in line behind the group the entire time chimes in.)

    Customer: “He would like four hamburgers. Can we hurry this up?”

    Special Needs Adult: “No! I would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger.”

    Customer: “Oh my god!”

    Me: “So if I got this right you would like a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger and a hamburger?”

    Special Needs Adult: “Yes, that’s right!”

    Me: “You know what I think you need? A high five!”

    Special Needs Adult: “You know I do!”

    (I high five the guy over the counter and the other three all take a turn getting a high five.)

    Customer: “This is just ridiculous!” *storms out of the store*

    You Can Never Be Too Careful

    | Florida, USA | Top

    Young girl, maybe six: “Hi, I need a table for 4 please.”

    Me: “Sure, what’s your name?”

    Girl: *screaming* “STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!”

    (The mom, dad and little brother enter the restaurant while she’s screaming.)

    Mom: “What’s wrong? What happened?”

    Young girl: “The lady wanted to know my name!”

    Mom: “Honey, that’s so she can tell you when the table is ready.”

    Young girl: “Oh…”

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