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    Of Quick Comebacks And Minute Men

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Top

    (The store is very small with 2 registers and we call customers over one at a time to prevent overcrowding. A customer walks over to register with his wife, without being called.)

    Me: “Oh, hold on there, sir. You came too fast.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Story of my life.”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    Now Made With Real Vegetarians

    , | Hull, UK |

    Customer: “There is no pasta in my pastarami sandwich, just some meat.”

    Me: “It’s Pastrami, peppered beef–not pastarami.”

    Customer: “Oh, can I change it please? I’m vegetarian.”

    GPS Needs Some Maine-tenance

    | Boise, ID, USA |

    Me: “Okay, which sandwiches off the menu would you like?”

    Customer: “I want olives.”

    Me: “Yes, but what kind of meat, sauce, cheese? We have our recipes up there for you.”

    Customer: “Look, all I want is olives. And sauerkraut.”

    Me: “I don’t have any sauerkraut for you sir.”

    Customer: “They have sauerkraut at other places! Like in Maine!”

    Me: “But not here. I’m sorry. And we are not in Maine.”

    Customer: *deadly serious and worried* “We’re not?”

    Disappointed By A Lack Of Disappointment

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “How long is your wait right now?”

    Me: “There is no wait at the moment.”

    Caller: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “That you don’t have to wait for a table.”

    Caller: “But how long is the wait?”

    Me: “There is none. You will be seated right away.”

    Caller: “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me!”

    Misunderstanding The Great Melting Pot

    | Bay Area, CA |

    Me: “Hi, what would you like to order?”

    Customer: “Can I get some bread sticks?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have bread sticks.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I get… what was it called? Chow mein?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, we don’t serve chow mein. We have something like that called yaki udon, though.”

    Customer: “What? Why don’t you have chow mein?”

    Me: “That is a Chinese dish and this is a Japanese restaurant.”

    Customer: “They’re different?!”

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