Obviously Not A People Person

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

Bean There, Done That

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans…in Spanish.”

Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”

A Heated Topic

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

(Note: a lunch party is sitting outside on our deck, which overlooks the waterfront.)

Me: “How is everything, folks?”

Customer: “Oh, the food’s great! It’s just a bit chilly out here.”

Me: “If you’d like, I can move you to a table inside, where it’s warmer.”

Customer: “Actually, could you just turn up the heat?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “The heat? Could you turn it up out here?”

Me: “There is no heating system.”

Customer: “Then, what’s that?” *points to railing around the deck*

Me: “That’s the railing.”

Customer: “No it’s not, it’s a heater! It’s warm!” *touches railing as to show me how warm it is*

Me: “It’s warm because its been sitting in the sun.”

Customer: “Don’t try to trick me! I’m a scientist, and I know that heaters make things warm!”

Clearer Than Black And White

| Ireland | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “Can I get a milkshake, please?”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Customers friend: “She said what flavor.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought she was saying ‘White flavor’. I just thought that’s what they call vanilla in their country!”

Tea Drag

| Weston, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’m waiting to pick up my friend from her shift, when a customer comments on her.)

Customer: “There’s something strange about that lady over there.”

Me: “She’s a wonderful tea-brewer.”

Customer: “Well, there’s something strange about her appearance.”

Me: “Oh, she gets a lot of questions about that. That’s because she was originally born a man.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “As in, she’s a transsexual.”

Customer: “Oh! Does she sing?”

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