November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

An Ate For Two Special

| Fort Lee, NJ, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have one Penne Milano.”

Me: “Okay, is there anything else I can get you?”

Customer: “One should be enough to feed eight people, right?”

Me: “No, unfortunately. At most, it could feed two.”

Customer: “Well, how can I make it feed eight?”

Me: “Perhaps you can order more than one?”

Line Is Law

| British Columbia, Canada | Food & Drink

(I am working in a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)

Supervisor: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)

Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”

Customer: “No problem.”

Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”

Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”

Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”

Two Points Make A Line, But Three People Don’t

Did I Steal That Out Loud

| Bethesda, Maryland, USA | Underaged

(Two boys around the age of 15 walk in without an adult. They order food that the average teenager cannot pay for. After they’re done eating, I come with the bill.)

Me: “Here is the bill.”

(They look at it. The total is about $107.)

Boy: “That’s a lot of cash. Let’s run!”

Me: “You better not, sir.”

Boy: “How’d you hear us? We were using telepathy!”

The Short, Rainbow-Colored Bridge From Injured Pride To Pride Parades

, | Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer and his son approach the counter. Note that the son is no more than 11 or 12 years-old.)

Customer: “Hey, my son has something to ask you.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer’s son: “Will you wanna go out with me?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Come on, it’s his first time asking a girl out! If you turn him down, he might get discouraged and go gay. You don’t want to turn him gay, do you?!”

Little Bite-Sized Lies

, | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

(It’s 11:30 pm and the fast food restaurant I work at has already closed at 11:00 pm. I am standing at the counter finishing the cashout when a customer walks in.)

Customer: “Hi, give me a teen burger combo.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed now. The restaurant was only open until eleven.”

Customer: *ignores me* “I’d like onion rings instead of fries.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t make you any food right now. Everything is off and we are closed.”

Customer: “What? That’s f***ing ridiculous! My daughter is in the hospital and I need to get something to eat!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but I can’t re-open the store for you.”

Customer: “That’s bulls**t! What the f*** am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, I believe there’s a another fast food restaurant just down the street that’s open 24 hours–”

Customer: “No! No! Don’t f***ing tell me to go there! My nephew is in the hospital and I am not going to bring him food from another f***ing restaurant!”

Me: “Ma’am, I thought it was your daughter in the hospital.”

(The customer freezes for a moment before realizing her mistake.)

Customer: “F*** you!” *leaves*