October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Press One For Faster Service

, | CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am taking orders on a headset while also taking money at the window. A customer drives up to my speaker.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “No hablo inglés!”

Me: “Un momento…”

(I take the money from the customer at the window, planning to get a Spanish speaking manager as soon as I can. After a few minutes…)

Customer: “Okay, fine! I speak English!”

May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away

, | Wigan, England, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to order a large whopper meal with a Coke, please.”

Me: “Certainly.”

(After serving the customer, she goes to sit outside on a rather warm, summer afternoon. Ten minutes pass, and she comes back inside looking rather annoyed.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I’d like a replacement drink.”

Me: “May I enquire as to why, madam?”

Customer: “The ice in this one has melted!”

Don’t Bow Down To Your Desires

| Little Rock, AR, USA | Uncategorized

(A coworker of mine brings in a pin to put on my shirt that says, “Talk dirty to me”. The boss is okay with it, and we have a lot of cool regulars that come in.)

Me: “I love your bow-tie! You never see anyone wear them nowadays!”

Customer: *noticing my pin* “You wanna touch it?”

Me: *nervous laughter*

Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim, Part 2

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Your lights are so dim. Can you please turn them up?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, there are only two settings, on and off.

Customer: “Well, turn them on, then!”

Me: “They are on.”

Customer: “Liar!”

Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim

Working Drive-Thru Is A Scream

, | Bristow, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m working the drive-thru window.)

Me: “Hi, you had a number two with a coke. That’ll be $6.45.”

Customer: “Okay, sure.”

(She rummages in her wallet.)

Me: “Thanks.”

(I gather her change.)

Customer: *screaming in my face* “I’m paying! I’m paying!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I know you’re paying. I’m just getting your change. They’re bagging your order right now.”

Customer: “Okay, great.”

(There is a pause while I check her order. Suddenly, I hear her screaming.)

Me: *very concerned* “Ma’am? What’s wrong?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You screamed.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “You definitely did. The whole drive-thru staff heard you.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken.”

Me: “Okay then. Here’s your food. Number two with a soda. Can I get you any condiments?”

Customer: *screaming in my face* “I’m eating! I’m eating!”

Me: “So, no condiments?”

Customer: *bellowing* “Goodbye! GOODBYE!”

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