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    Thinking Outside The Box

    | Hahira, GA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “I just picked up an order from you and it is completely wrong. It should not be so difficult to get an order right.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. What was the name on your ticket and I’ll see if I can fix this for you.”

    (I pull the customer’s ticket and read the order to her.)

    Me: “Is that what you ordered?”

    Caller: “Yes, but I didn’t get it and my husband said he is very upset as well!”

    Me: “What did you get ma’am?”

    Caller: “Well there’s a large container of soup in here that I did not order and I haven’t even opened the Styrofoam boxes but I’m sure they’re wrong!”

    Me: “Could you open the boxes and check for me?”

    Caller: “Your d*** restaurant screwed up! There is no reason for me to open the boxes!”

    Me: “I’m just trying to find out what happened to your order.”

    Caller: “Fine!” *checks boxes* “Well the food in the boxes is right but I did not order any soup!”

    Me: “Don’t worry. The soup was placed in your bag by mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

    Caller: “I’m still not happy about all this. I want to speak to a manager!”

    (My manager took the phone, and listened to the woman’s story.)

    Manager: “Just so I’m clear here ma’am, you’re angry because
    you got free soup?”

    Caller: *click*

    Related:
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    1 Billion Served (And Eaten)

    , | Texas, USA |

    (I’ve just finished ringing up a customer’s order.)

    Customer: “Is it too late to make the drink and fries big?”

    Me: “Of course not, let me just charge it.”

    Customer, to my manager: “It should be free since she didn’t offer it to me! You should offer it to everyone equally!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry sir, she can’t give it to you for free. We’re all human. We all make mistakes.”

    Customer: “Well, fine! Next time I want to be helped by someone who isn’t human!”

    No Wonder He’s Always Stuffed

    | Watertown, NY, USA |

    (Seated at one of my tables is a grown woman. Placed across from her is a stuffed animal.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Can I start you off with a drink?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a diet coke.”

    Me: “Okay, one diet–”

    Customer: *gestures to stuffed animal* “…and he’ll have
    our house wine.”

    Me: *laughs, playing along* “He doesn’t look over 21, ma’am.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “Oh, you’re right. He’ll just have a lemonade, then.”

    Burn Me Twice, Flame On Me

    , | Australia |

    (Note: I’m a customer and overhear this conversation.)

    Worker: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    Customer:“I bought this garlic bread, and I burnt my hands and my mouth.”

    Worker: “Oh, how did you burn both?”

    Customer: “It was too hot in my hands, so I put it in my mouth…”

    Mmm, Hemoglobin

    | Lancashire, UK |

    (I am cleaning down the kitchen and I manage to cut my hand rather badly. There are no bandages in the kitchen so I wrap it in a cloth and go to find my manager out front.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, we’re ready to order our dessert.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to find a bandage at the moment. Could it wait a minute?”

    Customer: “Well, I only wanted some ice cream.”

    Me: *shows hand* “You want blood with that?”

    Customer: “Chocolate sauce, maybe?”

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