Featured Story:
  • Making False Bald Statements
    (1,424 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Acting Disorderly

    | Madison, WI, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “No, we’re not ready to order yet.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

    (I start to walk away.)

    Customer: “Hey! Aren’t you going to ask us what we want to eat?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said you didn’t want me to take your order yet.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really care what order you ask us in. I just want my food!”

    Telling Porkies

    | Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Food & Drink

    (A family sits at a table in a restaurant specializing in steak dishes.)

    Me: “Hi guys, welcome to [restaurant]. Let me just tell you about today’s special, the prime rib with–”

    Customer: “We don’t need to hear this. Just stop.”

    Me:”So, you already know about the special? Great! Would you like to start with any–”

    Customer: “No! We’re vegetarians!”

    Me: “Oh, alright, well we have a few vegetarian dishes on this–”

    Customer: “No! Listen, we know what we want already.”

    Me: “Okay, great. Go ahead.”

    Customer: “Finally! The kids will have the chicken nuggets, my husband will have the chicken burger, and I’ll have the chicken strip salad.”

    Me: “Sure. Anything else?”

    Husband: “I’ll have extra bacon on the burger.”

    Obviously Not A People Person

    | New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

    Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

    Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

    Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

    Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

    Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

    Bean There, Done That

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

    Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

    Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

    Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

    Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

    Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans…in Spanish.”

    Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”

    A Heated Topic

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (Note: a lunch party is sitting outside on our deck, which overlooks the waterfront.)

    Me: “How is everything, folks?”

    Customer: “Oh, the food’s great! It’s just a bit chilly out here.”

    Me: “If you’d like, I can move you to a table inside, where it’s warmer.”

    Customer: “Actually, could you just turn up the heat?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “The heat? Could you turn it up out here?”

    Me: “There is no heating system.”

    Customer: “Then, what’s that?” *points to railing around the deck*

    Me: “That’s the railing.”

    Customer: “No it’s not, it’s a heater! It’s warm!” *touches railing as to show me how warm it is*

    Me: “It’s warm because its been sitting in the sun.”

    Customer: “Don’t try to trick me! I’m a scientist, and I know that heaters make things warm!”

    Page 169/241First...167168169170171...Last