November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Illegalize Stupidity

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink

Guest #1: “What’s a Flaming Dr. Pepper?”

Me: “It’s a shot of Amaretto topped with Bacardi 151 and set on fire. You drop it into half a beer and chug it. It tastes just like a Dr. Pepper.”

Guest #1: “We’ll take two.”

Me: “Sorry, since they’re on fire, we can’t serve them. It violates city fire code.”

Guest #2: “C’mon, we want to try it.”

(I explain that if they drink them at the bar in front of me I’ll allow it. I pour the half beers, the shot of Amaretto, and top it with the 151. I place all this in front of them and light the shots on fire.)

Guest #1: “Now what?”

Me: “Hold the beer in one hand and the shot in the other.”

(They do so.)

Me: “Now drop the shot.”

Guest #1: “Drop the shot?”

Me: “Drop the shot.”

(Guest #2 drops the shot in the beer and begins to chug as instructed. Guest #1 misunderstands and drops the shot on the bar, spilling the now flaming shot all over the counter. The Bacardi, as well as the flames, spread. I put it out but it takes a few moments and it is a little frightening.)

Me: “Now, do we know why they are illegal to serve?”

Will That Be Paper Or Plastic

, | Kildare, Ireland | Food & Drink, Money

Customer: “Can I get a cheeseburger and a bottle of water?”

Me: “Yes, that’s $3.70, please.”

(The customer holds out five napkins and starts counting them. He then hands them to me as payment.)

Me: “Sorry, do you have $3.70?”

Customer: *points at napkins* “Yea, there! Look!”

Me: “Those are not money. Do you have any money to pay?”

Customer: “Yeah! I’m paying with napkins!”

Coworker: “Sorry, we only take money…”

(Eventually, security had to come and him (and his napkins) away from the tills.)

Your Attitude Is Teri-yucky

| Sammamish, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(Note: I work at a restaurant that specializes only in teriyaki-style food.)

Customer: “So, what kind of food do you guys sell here?”

Me: “We sell teriyaki.”

Customer: “Is your chicken teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is your beef teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is your pork teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes, the majority of our menu is teriyaki.”

Customer: *looking upset* “You should really have more variety. I don’t want teriyaki. I didn’t wait in line for 15 minutes for teriyaki!”

Next customer in line: “Well, then, get the f**k out of a teriyaki restaurant!”

If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

| Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “How much is a push pop?”

Me: “75 cents.”

Customer: “What is that, a dollar?”

Me: *speechless*

Who’s Teaching Who Manners

| Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I bus tables at a buffet-style restaurant. I approach a table of two middle-aged women and a girl who looks to be around 8 years old.)

Me: “Hello! I’ll be your service assistant today. How is everything tasting so far?”

Woman: “Fine.”

(I walk away and let them continue eating. I return about 10 minutes later.)

Me: “Why don’t I get these empty plates out of your way?”

(Both women completely ignore me. I take the plates and start to walk away.)

Girl: *yells to her mom* “Shouldn’t you say ‘thank you’?!”

(I start giggling and duck into the bus station. Later, I return to the table to pickup the next round of plates.)

Both women: *beaming* “Thank you!”

(The majority of people do not tip us. They end up leaving me $5.)