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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Life Mangoes On

    , | Bloomington, MN, USA |

    Customer: “I want a shake.”

    Me: “What kind would you like?”

    Customer: “A milkshake.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. What flavor would you like?”

    Customer: “Whatever kind you have.”

    Me: “We have, vanilla, chocolate, banana, strawberry, peach and fudge. Which one would you like?”

    Customer: “Mango.”

    Me: “We don’t have mango sir, would you like the peach?”

    Customer: “No! I want a mango milkshake. Why does nobody ever understand?” *walks away*

    A Misunderstanding Of Pi

    , | Howard Beach, NY, USA |

    Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a large pepperoni pie and a bottle of [soda] delivered to [address].”

    Me: “Okay, your total is ***. That’ll be about a half hour. Is that all?”

    Customer: “Oh, also, how much extra would it cost to have my pie be 16 slices instead of 8? Because I’m really hungry tonight.”

    Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head

    , | Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [name], how can I help you?”

    (All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

    Customer: “Did you get my order?”

    Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”

    Sweet (Tea) Out Of (Pot) Luck

    , | Tennessee, USA |

    (We are having our annual Christmas party/potluck dinner one Sunday night at our fast food restaurant. I’ve placed signs showing we are closed and have blocked off the drive thru. One of my fellow employees notices a man standing at the counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “I have been standing here for five minutes and I haven’t been helped! Give me a number one with a sweet tea.”

    Me: “Well, we are closed on Sundays. This is our Christmas Party.”

    Customer: “Closed? All the lights are on!”

    Me: “Well, we need them for the party.”

    Customer: “I have never heard of such a thing. So I can’t get that number one?”

    Me: “No sir, all of our machines are off. We are closed.”

    Customer: “What about a sweet tea?”

    Me: “Sir, we are closed. We don’t have anything we can give to customers.”

    (The customer sees our buffet-style employee potluck.)

    Customer: “Well, can I get a plate?”

    Gobble Grunt Gobble

    | San Jose, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys sold male chicken?”

    Me: “We do sell chicken, but I am not sure we know the gender.”

    Customer: “But someone told me that you guys sold male chicken for Thanksgiving dinners.”

    Me: “Thanksgiving dinner? Are you talking about a turkey?”

    Customer: “Yeah! The male chicken!”

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