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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim, Part 2

    | Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Your lights are so dim. Can you please turn them up?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, there are only two settings, on and off.

    Customer: “Well, turn them on, then!”

    Me: “They are on.”

    Customer: “Liar!”

    Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim

    Working Drive-Thru Is A Scream

    , | Bristow, VA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m working the drive-thru window.)

    Me: “Hi, you had a number two with a coke. That’ll be $6.45.”

    Customer: “Okay, sure.”

    (She rummages in her wallet.)

    Me: “Thanks.”

    (I gather her change.)

    Customer: *screaming in my face* “I’m paying! I’m paying!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I know you’re paying. I’m just getting your change. They’re bagging your order right now.”

    Customer: “Okay, great.”

    (There is a pause while I check her order. Suddenly, I hear her screaming.)

    Me: *very concerned* “Ma’am? What’s wrong?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You screamed.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t.”

    Me: “You definitely did. The whole drive-thru staff heard you.”

    Customer: “You’re mistaken.”

    Me: “Okay then. Here’s your food. Number two with a soda. Can I get you any condiments?”

    Customer: *screaming in my face* “I’m eating! I’m eating!”

    Me: “So, no condiments?”

    Customer: *bellowing* “Goodbye! GOODBYE!”

    Lost In No Translation, Part 2

    , | Newport Beach, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “What can I get you, sir?”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “What can I get you, sir?”

    Customer: “Ham and swiss on rye.”

    Me: “What would you like for your side?”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “What. Would. You. Like. For. Your. Side?”

    Customer: “Are you speaking French?”

    Lost In No Translation

    Let There Be Light(ers)

    | Houston, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Do you have any tables available outside?”

    (They look straight ahead to the patio and cut me off before I can say a word.)

    Customer: “Oh, never mind. The sun is shining in the direction of the patio.”

    Me: “We have a second patio on the other side of the restaurant.”

    (I am about to lead them there when the customer realizes there is a non-smoking sign.)

    Customer: “Oh, never mind. I need to be able to smoke. I guess we’ll take the patio with the sunlight shining.”

    (I am taking them out to their table when the customer’s wife turns and smiles to me.)

    Customer’s wife: “We just don’t want to get cancer from the sun.”

    Lights Aren’t The Only Thing A Bit Dim

    | UT, USA | Uncategorized

    (Two customers come in and stand for a minute looking at the menu.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

    Customer #1: “Jeez, you guys need to turn on some more lights in here! I can barely see the menu!”

    (There is an extended pause as his friend and I stare at him.)

    Customer #2: “Maybe because you’re still wearing your sunglasses?”

    (He pauses, and then takes off the sunglasses.)

    Customer #1: “Oh.”

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