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    Stop And Stair, Part 2

    | Kennebunkport, ME, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Where are your stairs to get back to the street?”

    Me: “Right behind me, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, I said the stairs to go DOWN!”

    Me: “We only have this set of stairs and our fire exit. These are the stairs that lead down to the street.”

    Customer: “But I came up these. I can’t go down them. Stairs only go one way!”

    Me: “Let me show you to the elevator…”

    Stop And Stair

    The Secret Is In The Sauce

    , | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink

    (We moved to America because my dad’s work was transported to a new port. He is very bad with English, so many hilarious moments ensued when he buys food. At the moment, this fast food restaurant is heavily marketing one of its burgers. My dad decides he wants to try one.)

    Cashier: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

    Dad: “Yes, I would like the Big and Nasty Burger, please!”

    Cashier: “Excuse me?”

    Dad: “The Big and Nasty Burger!”

    Cashier: “Um, do you mean the Big and Tasty Burger, sir?”

    Dad: “Yes, that’s what I said! The Big and Nasty!”

    A Slippery Slimy Slope

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (I cashier at a food booth for a festival every year. One year, a customer comes up to order with a large stuffed animal of a blue clown fish sticking out of his jean pocket. He pulls the fish out of his pocket and points it at me.)

    Customer: “Would you like to kiss my fish?”

    Me: “Uh, no. Thank you.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (At the moment, my little sister is sitting next to me doing some work. He then points to my sister, who isn’t paying attention.)

    Customer: “Does she want to kiss my fish?”

    Me: “Uh, no, she definitely doesn’t.”

    Customer: “Haha, okay.”

    (He takes his food and leaves.)

    Having Funion With Food

    , | York County, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    (I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

    Customer: *repeats veggie order*

    (I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

    Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

    Me: “It’s really okay.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

    She’s Nuts About Her Husband

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “Do these cookies contain nuts?”

    Me: “Which cookie are you thinking about?”

    Customer: “The toffee nut cookies.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “I’ll take one.”

    (After a few minutes, the customer returns.)

    Customer: “What kind of nuts do those cookies contain?”

    Me: “Ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “Oh, my husband is deathly allergic to those.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can call 911 or direct you to the nearest hospital.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know where it is, but first, I want to get a sandwich to go…”

    Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance

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