• A Pain In The Nugget
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    The Lost And Eaten

    , | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, customers call the store when their order is wrong. This one was a little bit more special.)

    Manager: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t get my food!”

    Manager: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “When I came through the drive-thru, I got my food. But when I got home it was gone!”

    Manager: “Let me get this straight. You got your food at the window?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was in your car when you left?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was gone when you got home?”

    Customer: “It wasn’t there anymore.”

    Manager: “So between here and home, you lost your food? How do you expect us to fix it?”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Dripular Reasoning

    , | Kennebunk, ME, USA | Uncategorized

    (I live in a relatively small town and have lived there all my life. Needless to say, I know the place inside out and walk through downtown to get to work pretty much every day.)

    Tourist: “Excuse me, do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?”

    Me: “Of course, if you go–”

    Older Man: “Yes it’s downtown right before the bridge detour you can’t miss it!”

    Me: “Sir, I believe that’s [coffee shop], not Starbucks.”

    Older Man: “No, it’s Starbucks!”

    Me: “Sir, that’s [coffee shop]. There’s never been a Starbucks there.”

    Older Man: “No, you’re wrong! When exactly did it become [coffee shop]?! Hmm?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s been [coffee shop] for about two years now.”

    Older Man: “Well, unless Starbucks left and changed the name overnight, you’re wrong!”

    Me: “It didn’t. It’s–”

    Older Man: “Right! So it’s Starbucks and you’re wrong!”

    And The Thigh Bone’s Connected To The

    , | Newport, UK | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I’ll have two wings, one breast, and one side-breast.”

    Cashier: “Side-breast?”

    Customer: “Yes, side-breast…” *repeats order*

    Cashier: “What’s that?”

    Customer: “Well, you have the breast, which is the front of the chicken, and the side-breast, which is half of the breast.”

    Cashier: “Well, we don’t do that. We have thighs, legs, wings, ribs, and breast.”

    Customer: “No, you have side-breast! I always have side-breast! There it is–those ones there!”

    (The customer points to a pile in one of the heating units.)

    Cashier: “Oh, you mean rib!”

    Customer: “Yes, side-breast!”

    Well, It’s The Sponge’s Day Off

    | Ord, NE, USA | Food & Drink

    (It’s my first time running drive-through. The floor manager and one or two other employees also have their headsets on.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “I will have a chicken sandwich, and my grandson will have a Crabby Patty kids meal.”

    (The floor manager’s jaw drops. The other employees burst out laughing.)

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, we don’t have Crabby Patties. Those are off of a kids’ TV show.”

    Customer: “Oh…well, do you have anything like it?”

    Meathead In The Making

    | Orange County, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am a server assistant at a popular 40’s style diner.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, there’s something wrong with my burger.”

    Me: “What is it?”

    Customer: “Well, it doesn’t have a bun.”

    Me: “Hmm, what did you order?”

    Customer: “The all-natural, low-carb burger.”

    Me: “Well, the bun is made of bread which is loaded with carbs. So, if you wanted a low-carb burger, there would be no bun.”

    Customer: “Oh…that makes sense now!”

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