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    Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

    Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

    Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

    Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

    (I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

    Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

    Me: “Seven what?!”

    Customer: “DOLLARS.”

    Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

    Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

    Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

    Not Drinking This Information In

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “I would like the #1 Combo”

    Me: “And your beverage?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Your beverage?” *points at cup*

    Customer: *frustrated* “YES.”

    Me: “What would you like to drink, sir?”

    Customer: “STOP ASKING! I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I WANTED A DRINK!”

    Ordering Like A Headless Chicken

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a restaurant that only sells fried chicken. My manager answers the phone.)

    Manager: “Welcome to [Chicken Place]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, [Pizza Place]?”

    Manager: “No, this is [Chicken Place].”

    Caller: “I’d like two large pizzas with–”

    Manager: “Ma’am, this is–”

    Caller: *shouting over her* “PEPPERONI! And I want those green peppers and don’t put on that seasoning stuff–”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, this isn’t a pizza place. This is–”

    Caller: “And on one of those, on half, I want sausage.”

    Manager: “We don’t sell pizza!”

    Caller: “Do you still do that special crust? With the cheese?”

    Manager: “No, we–”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. I’ll just take the regular crust, then. How much is it?”

    Manager: *facepalming incredibly hard* “Ma’am. We do not sell pizza. We sell chicken. This is [Chicken Place].”

    Caller: “Oh. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

    All Fired Up And Fried Up

    | Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I have a headset on to assist drive-thru…)

    Cashier: “You had the burger and a coke. Any fries today?”

    Customer: *grumpy*: “No fries!”

    Cashier: “Okay. And what size for your drink?”

    Customer: “NO FRIES!”

    Cashier: “I know, but what size for your drink? Small, medium, or large?”

    Customer: “I said NO FRIES!”

    Cashier: “Okay. The burger and a coke…”

    Customer: “LISTEN, YOU LITTLE B****! I said I didn’t want fries! Don’t you f****** listen?!”

    (She drives up to the first window and I’m ticked off, so I take it. She hands me her credit card.)

    Me: “DON’T SWEAR AT MY COWORKERS!”

    Customer: “Well, she wasn’t listening!”

    Me: “Yes, she was. You didn’t. She asked what size of drink. She didn’t say a damn word about fries after you said you didn’t want any.”

    Customer: “I want your manager.”

    (I call for manager.)

    Customer: “I want—”

    Me: “Nope. You want the manager, not me, so you’re getting the manager.” *I still have her card so she can’t leave*

    (The manager comes and the customer complains about my attitude to her. The manager says exactly what I did, not to swear at us, it’s her own fault, and not to come back. Haven’t seen her since.)

    The Tongue Has Eyes

    | Peabody, MA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I present a diner our menu, which does not contain any photos.)

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know what the food tastes like if there’s no pictures?”

    Me: “Uh…”

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