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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Acting Like A Cookie Monster

    | TN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have a regular at our restaurant, a 14-year-old, that bikes to our store and gets the same order about once a week. Everyone gets along with him well, and the owner likes him enough to give him free cookies with all of his lunches. The owner has just given him some free cookies.)

    14-Year-Old Regular: “Thanks a ton!”

    (Another customer sees this, and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “Why did that BRAT get free cookies? I DEMAND to know, AND get cookies complimentary with my order!”

    14-Year-Old Regular: “I always assumed I got them because I’m not a douche-bag of a customer, unlike someone else.”

    (The customer goes red and shuts up.)

    Owner: “Isn’t he cute?”

    A Real Life Cookie Monster

    Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (We just opened for service. Our first customer of the day comes in.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys take [credit card name]?”

    Coworker: “No, sorry, sir.”

    (The customer leaves, but he comes back about an hour later.)

    Customer: “Hi! Do you guys take [credit card name]?”

    Coworker: “Nope, sorry. But we take checks!”

    Customer: “Nope, that doesn’t work. Thanks anyway.”

    (An hour later, he comes back.)

    Customer: “Still not taking [credit card name]?”

    Coworker: “Nope, sorry!”

    Customer: “Okay…”

    (He leaves, again. An hour later..)

    Customer: “NOW do you take [credit card name]?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we do not.”

    Customer: “Jeez, I’m never coming back here! You guys never take [credit card name]!”

    (He storms out. At the end of the day…)

    Customer: “So, how about now?”

    Rise Above It

    | OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am a cashier at a buffet. I am very short and am standing next to another cashier over six feet. Our buffet guests have been standing in line for about two hours for a very popular weekend dinner. I invite the next two guests in line to come pay at my register.)

    Guest: “Well, aren’t you lucky! You get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for over two hours.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Guest: “I said, you’re very lucky to get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for a very long time.”

    (I glance at my co-worker, who is grinning widely at the comment.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sitting down. This is as tall as I get!”

    (The guest turns bright red and starts apologizing. I can’t resist taking off my shoes, which shorten me by another two inches.)

    Me: “Ma’am, without my shoes I’m only this tall.”

    Guest: “Please! You’d better keep your shoes on!”

    Another Reason To Hate The News

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Canada, Money, Movies & TV

    (I work in a major sandwich franchise in Canada.)

    Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store]. What can I get started for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you guys have the chicken sandwich for $5 dollars this month, right?”

    Me: “No, sir, that promotion is actually only available in the US at the moment.”

    Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Since when has there ever been a difference?”

    Me: “Well, promotions and prices have always been different between the two countries. I think that’s how it’s always been for large franchises.”

    Customer: “I still want the promoted price I saw on the commercial.”

    Me: “Is it possible that you were watching an American channel when you saw this commercial sir?”

    Customer: “Of course not! I only watch Canadian television! What do I look like to you, some kind of Yankee?”

    Me: “What channel were you watching, sir?”

    Customer: “Fox News.”

    Me: “That’s an American channel sir.”

    Customer: “Oh… well…”

    (He ended up ordering the sandwich he wanted, and he paid the marked-up price for it.)

    Some Kids Are All Work And No Play

    | Huntsville, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess. A family of four walk in, and I seat them. The nine-year-old son leaves the table and comes up to the host stand.)

    Nine-Year-Old Son: “Do you like your job?”

    Me: “Sometimes it gets a little crazy, but it’s all good! Do you need some extra crayons or something?”

    Nine-Year-Old Son: “No. Are you tired of your job yet?”

    Me: “No, I’m doing all right.”

    Nine-Year-Old Son: “Because if you’re tired, I’ll take over for you. Just come tell me at my table.”

    (I laugh.)

    Me: “Thank you very much, but I have to stay up here and work until the end of my shift!”

    (His older sister comes over.)

    Nine-Year-Old Son: “I’m serious! If you’re tired, I can take over!”

    Older Sister: “Come on, let’s go!”