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    No Bloody Sensitivity Anywhere

    | New York, USA | Health & Body

    (I work at a bar and grill on the breakfast shift. I have just badly cut my finger and have blood running down my hand. As I am running to the kitchen for first aid, a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I get a glass of orange juice please?”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I come right back to you? I need to take care of this.”

    (I raise my hand up to show her that my hand is bleeding all over.)

    Customer: “The service here is terrible. I want my orange juice!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really need to go take care of this.”

    Customer: “Forget it!” *storms out without paying for her meal*

    Related:
    A Serious Case Of Insensitivity, Part 2
    Call 911: We’ve Got A Serious Case Of Insensitivity

    Placebo Me, Part 6

    | Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m dropping off a drink at a party of about 10 guys and girls. They look like they wish they were on the Jersey Shore. One of the girls has ordered a double gin and tonic. Before I walk away, the girl calls me back.)

    Girl: “This drink isn’t right. I ordered a gin and tonic and this tastes like it has vodka in it…and maybe soda.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll get that fixed up for you right away.”

    (I take it to my bartender, who looks at it, pours it into a different shaped glass, then hands it back to me. I take it back to the table and give it to the customer.)

    Girl: “Ah, this is much better. Thank you!”

    Me: “You’re very welcome!”

    Related:
    Placebo Me, Part 5
    Placebo Me, Part 4
    Placebo Me, Part 3
    Placebo Me, Part 2
    Placebo Me

    Jessica Simpson Isn’t The Only One

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m on the phone taking an order for pick-up.)

    Customer: “I’d like 50 wings please.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like those buffalo?”

    Customer: “No, chicken.”

    Water You, Stupid, Part 6

    | Woburn, MA, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I have a glass of water?”

    Me: “Sure.” *gets him cup of water*

    Customer: “Are we in Woburn?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, so is this, uh, Woburn water?”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Didn’t this stuff kill people?”

    Me: “That was years ago.”

    Customer: “No, I think it was very recent.”

    Me: “No, the movie was just released very recently. The water’s fine now.”

    Customer: “I’d rather not take my chances. Can I get a bottle of water instead with a cup of ice?”

    Me: “You know where ice comes from, right?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Never mind. Enjoy.” *hands them bottle of water and ice made from Woburn water*

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a drive-in which is fairly popular in some parts of the country. Our kids’ meals are called Wacky Packs. The following takes place as I’m bringing the food out to a car.)

    Me: “And here’s your wacky pack.”

    Customer: “My what?”

    Me: “Your wacky pack. Sorry, that’s what we call our kids’ meals.”

    Customer: “A wocky pack?”

    Me: “A wacky pack.”

    Customer: “Oh! A wacky pack!”

    (I continue to hand her the food.)

    Me: “And here’s your apple juice. Sorry, we ran out of juice boxes so we poured some into a cup for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I love juice boxes; they’re my favorite!”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I like them too. They’re fun.”

    Customer: “To go with my wacky pack!” *giggle*

    Related:
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

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