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    Knowing Is Half The Battle

    | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m a server in my restaurant. The Sunday lunch crowd is usually the elderly. An older gentleman and his wife are seated, and I take their drink order.)

    Me: “Would you like anything else to drink besides water?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a drink.”

    Me: “Okay, what kind?”

    (He doesn’t respond and looks at me for a while.)

    Me: “We have canned soda: Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew, Sunkist, iced tea, hot tea, coffee–”

    Customer: “Yes, I want a can.”

    Me: “Um, I…” *smile* “Which one?”

    (He stares at me for a good while, like I should know better. Finally, his wife chimes in.)

    Wife: “He’d like a Coke, please.”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2

    | Fresno, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am working as the host at a family restaurant. It’s particularly busy night, so I am taking down names on the wait list.)

    Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

    Customer: “It’s going to be 6 with 2 kids.”

    Me: “So, a total of 6 people?”

    Customer: “No, 8!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Okay, a total of 8. I got you down.”

    (Their party has to wait for around 30 minutes to be seated. Right after we seat them, the woman comes back up to the front.)

    Customer: “Um, excuse me! How do you expect us to fit at this table?!”

    Me: “Well, that table can usually hold 8 people. It seats four on one side, and four on the other.”

    Customer: “But we have 13 people!”

    Me: “Ma’am, when I asked you the total amount of people, you told me 8.”

    Customer: “No, I told you 8 adults and 3 children!”

    Me: “But that only adds up to 11–”

    Customer: “That doesn’t matter! We can’t fit!”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Can’t Spell Without Without With, Part 2

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

    (This takes place while the customer is ordering at the drive-through speaker.)

    Customer: “I want a [popular combo].”

    Me: “What kind of drink?”

    Customer: “No drink.”

    Me: “Is that all?”

    Customer: “No, I also want a Dr. Pepper on the side.”

    Can’t Spell Without Without With

    No Sudden Gender Changes, Please

    , | Washington, USA | Food & Drink

    (Another employee and I are working the drive-thru and we both are able to talk to customers at the speaker box.)

    Male coworker: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ll take a number two and a number seven.”

    (At this point, my coworker has to talk to another customer, so I finish talking to the customer. I am a woman.)

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

    Customer: “Wh-What happened to the MAN I was talking to?”

    Me: “I’m sorry… he was helping another customer for a moment. Did you not want to talk to me?”

    Customer: “That’s just rude and confusing for the customer!”

    Practice What You Preach (Please)

    | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m serving a mother and her two children.)

    Me: “Are you ready to order?”

    Mother: “Tell the lady what you would like.”

    Son: “I’ll have the chicken fingers.”

    Mother: “Say please!”

    Son: *sheepishly* “Please.”

    Mother: “And what would you like?”

    Daughter: “A hot dog!”

    Mother: “Say please!”

    Daughter: “Please.”

    Mother: “And I’ll have the fried clams.”

    (She never did say “please”.)

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