He’s Obviously Just Wingin’ It

| Georgia, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I serve a customer some food, specifically wings and fries. He approaches me with his meal; two of the wings are badly hidden in the fries.)

Customer: “Hey man, you didn’t give me two wings. Cook them again!”

Me:” I’m sure that I gave you the order just like you asked.”

Customer: “Yo man, I told you! I have two f***ing wings missin’! How the f*** do you know that I be gettin’ all my wings?!”

Me: “I also cook the food, sir.”

Customer: “THAT DON’T MEAN NUTTIN!”

Me: “I count before, during, and after food preparation. I guarantee you, you got what you ordered.”

Customer: “NO I DIDN’T!”

Me: “Okay, then please explain why there are chicken bones in the fries, and why you have hot sauce on your lips.”

Customer: *flips me the bird and storms out of the store*

Not Specifying Spices Can Spark Speculation

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work a popular sub sandwich chain. I’m finishing up a customer’s sandwich with vegetables and condiments.)

Me: “Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yeah, some peppers.”

(Note: the customer is very clearly pronouncing the “s” in “peppers.” We have bell peppers, pepperoncinis, and jalapeños.)

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “Peppers.”

Me: “Which kind of peppers?”

Customer: “PEP-PERS. PEPPERS!”

Me: “Yes, but which kind?”

Customer: “Freaking black peppers! Right there in the shaker! The only peppers you have!”

Me: “Oh, pepper! I’m sorry, I thought you were talking about the veggies.”

Customer: “Why would peppers be a vegetable?! It’s just little black flakes!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: *to her companion* “Dumb b****!”

The Proof Is In The Toppings

| Georgia, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(I’m working at a popular sandwich chain during a busy dinner rush. Two men, one of which is much older than the other, approach the counter. The younger man orders two footlongs while the older one hangs back, so I figure they are for the both of them. After I finish, I attempt to move on to the next customer.)

Older Customer: “EXCUSE ME, are you just gonna f***in’ skip me?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought your order was finished. What can I get for you?”

Older Customer: “I want two footlong clubs on white bread, double meat.”

(I get the bread out, cut it, and realize that the kind of sandwich he requested has slipped my mind.)

Me: “Sir, can you remind me what kind of sandwiches you wanted?”

Older Customer: “I JUST f***in’ told you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just been a very long day, sir. It slipped my mind. I remember you wanted double meat, though.”

Older Customer: “I ain’t holdin’ your hand, little girl. You better remember f***in’ quick.”

(Luckily for me, the younger man steps in, looking apologetic, and tells me.)

Older Customer: “What’re you doin’? These monkeys need to learn better!”

(I remain quiet and begin making the sandwiches. Note: a regular club sandwich is made with four slices turkey folded, fourslices roast beef folded, and two slices of ham laid flat. To save time, I usually take two slices of meat together and add them like that, as is the case here.)

Older Customer: “That’s not double meat.”

Me: “Yes it is, sir…”

(I explain the sandwich formula to him and show the amount of meat on the bread.)

Older Customer: “It doesn’t look like double meat to me.”

Me: “I’ve already shown you that it is, sir.”

Older Customer: “Double meat means double meat!”

Me: “I gave you double meat. I’ve already explained that.”

Older Customer: “DOUBLE MEAT MEANS DOUBLE GODD*** MEAT!”

(Suddenly, my coworker running the register jumps in, pulls our sandwich-making reference sheet off the sneeze-guard, and shoves it in the older customer’s face.)

Coworker: “As you can see, sir, this is the proper formula for a club. Why don’t we just make sure your sandwich has exactly double of that?”

(My coworker grabs a piece of deli paper and, piece by piece, disassembles the sandwich while loudly counting the slices and then places them on the paper. The older customer looks very embarrassed, while everyone in line who isn’t pissed off is snickering wildly—even his young companion.)

Older Customer: “OKAY! OKAY! I BELIEVE YOU! JUST MOVE ON!”

Coworker: “Are you sure? I could count it again if you aren’t.”

Older Customer: *mumbles* “D*** b****es!”

(On the plus side, he kept completely silent for the rest of the transaction with his head down.)

A Change In Atti-two-de

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

(I am working the register where a customer has just paid with a bunch of two dollar bills. Just to be sure we can take them, I ask my manager, who says yes. Upon hearing this, the customer starts making fun of me.)

Customer: “Haha! Haven’t you ever seen a $2 bill before?! Aren’t you a real American? I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t know what a $2 bill is. Haha!”

Me: “I’m… I’m sorry, sir.”

(The customer then proceeds to get the rest of the line behind him to laugh at me. I am humiliated and stewing by this point, but send him on his way, smiling the whole time. Later, I’m in the back room counting the money in my register into the safe for the end of my shift. My manager comes into the back to talk to me.)

Manager: “There’s a customer at the front counter who wants to talk to you.”

(I go out there and it’s the $2 bill customer from earlier. I’m bracing myself for round two when this happens.)

Customer: “I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for making fun of you earlier. It wasn’t right. I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you, and you didn’t deserve it.”

Me: “It’s okay, sir.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. You were just trying to do your job and I embarrassed you. That’s not okay. I’m very sorry. Buddies?”

Me: “Buddies.” *we shake hands*

(After I got off work he told me some of the history of $2 bills. When he left he said, “Don’t let them get to you!” He comes in almost every day now, and it’s always nice to see him!)

Good Customers Are Worth Their Waiter In Gold

| Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(I am waiting on a table with a particularly bratty little kid and his mother.)

Kid: “Hey, you!” *rudely shakes his empty cup at me*

Me: “Hey Bud! Can I help you with something?”

Kid’s Mom: *sarcastically* “I think its pretty obvious that he needs something else to drink, if it’s not too much trouble, since your job is SO hard and all!”

(Hearing this, a customer at the next table speaks up.)

Another Customer: “Ha! The only thing obvious to me, lady, is that you and your husband clearly haven’t taught that little punk any manners. As for this young lady’s job, I’m sure it is difficult! If I had to deal with horrible folks like you all day I would probably want to hang myself.” *to me* “My hats off to you, sweetheart!”

(The look on that woman’s face was priceless! The bratty kid and his mom family left soon after that episode, while the other customer high-fived me every time I walked by his table. On top of that, he left me a 50% tip. Some good customers really make this crap worth while!)

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