November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

That Woman Has Some Balls

| Dickson City, PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My friend and I are at a Chinese buffet.)

Me: “Hey, do you want to get those fried dough ball things before we go back to the table?”

My Friend: “Yes! Thank you for the reminder!”

(We walk over to where they’re located, and see a middle-aged woman making her way down the line. She’s at the tray of food next to the dough balls, so we stand back and let her finish what she’s doing.)

My Friend: “I love the dough balls here!”

(The woman looks up from what she’s doing, and stares at us. She reaches over and takes EVERY DOUGH BALL from the tray and puts them on her plate. She then runs away from the line. There were at least 13 dough balls on the tray.)

Me: “I… I don’t know what just happened.”

(A few people around us start to laugh. Thankfully the dough balls were restocked by the time we were done with our first plate of food, and we never ran into that woman again!)

Peanuts Are High In Irony

| NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A man comes in with his son, who looks to be about nine years old.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys cook anything in peanut oil? My son has a peanut allergy, and he can’t eat anything with peanuts.”

Manager: “No, we don’t. He can have everything here except the salad, which has almond in it.”

Customer’s Son: “Ooh dad, chocolate soda!”

Customer: “What about the chocolate soda?”

Manager: “Oh no, he can’t have that.”

Customer: “Sorry, bud, how about the root beer instead?”

(He orders their food and while they wait, his phone goes off.)


(He quickly answers it while my coworkers and I are trying not to laugh. He looks a little embarrassed when he hangs up.)

Customer: “Ha, sorry about that. I guess I should change my ring tone, huh?”

Me: “No, I loved the irony!”

Acting Like A Cookie Monster

| TN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have a regular at our restaurant, a 14-year-old, that bikes to our store and gets the same order about once a week. Everyone gets along with him well, and the owner likes him enough to give him free cookies with all of his lunches. The owner has just given him some free cookies.)

14-Year-Old Regular: “Thanks a ton!”

(Another customer sees this, and starts yelling.)

Customer: “Why did that BRAT get free cookies? I DEMAND to know, AND get cookies complimentary with my order!”

14-Year-Old Regular: “I always assumed I got them because I’m not a douche-bag of a customer, unlike someone else.”

(The customer goes red and shuts up.)

Owner: “Isn’t he cute?”

A Real Life Cookie Monster

Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(We just opened for service. Our first customer of the day comes in.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys take [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “No, sorry, sir.”

(The customer leaves, but he comes back about an hour later.)

Customer: “Hi! Do you guys take [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry. But we take checks!”

Customer: “Nope, that doesn’t work. Thanks anyway.”

(An hour later, he comes back.)

Customer: “Still not taking [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry!”

Customer: “Okay…”

(He leaves, again. An hour later..)

Customer: “NOW do you take [credit card name]?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we do not.”

Customer: “Jeez, I’m never coming back here! You guys never take [credit card name]!”

(He storms out. At the end of the day…)

Customer: “So, how about now?”

Rise Above It

| OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am a cashier at a buffet. I am very short and am standing next to another cashier over six feet. Our buffet guests have been standing in line for about two hours for a very popular weekend dinner. I invite the next two guests in line to come pay at my register.)

Guest: “Well, aren’t you lucky! You get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for over two hours.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “I said, you’re very lucky to get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for a very long time.”

(I glance at my co-worker, who is grinning widely at the comment.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sitting down. This is as tall as I get!”

(The guest turns bright red and starts apologizing. I can’t resist taking off my shoes, which shorten me by another two inches.)

Me: “Ma’am, without my shoes I’m only this tall.”

Guest: “Please! You’d better keep your shoes on!”