Making A Loud A-pee-l

| Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(We are a tiny restaurant that just so happens to be at the end of a large parade route. So, we often get lot of requests for a public restroom, which we do not have. One day, a customer comes running in holding his young daughter.)

Customer: “Quick! Which way to your restroom?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our restroom is for customers only.”

Customer: “You son of a b****! My daughter needs to go now!”

(At this point, his daughter becomes scared and starts peeing herself.)

Customer: *to me* “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!”

(The customer runs out, leaving a wet trail behind for me to mop up.)

Breast To Be Aware Around Bigots

, | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m a male shift manager at a popular drive-thru fast food chain. I’m 19 and the only manager on duty. I am doing my rounds when I overhear an argument.)

Customer: “You f***ing b****! You obviously don’t know what the f*** you’re doing! Ten f***ing breast pieces!”

(At this point the 15-year-old server runs out of the serving window area in tears and begs me for help. I send her on a break and approach the customer warily.)

Me: “Sir, what seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “Who the f*** are you?”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty, sir. Is there-”

Customer: “You? The f***ing manager? You’re f***ing 12!”

Me: “Sir, I’m 19 and I’m—”

Customer: “That b**** wouldn’t give me ten breast pieces of chicken in my ten piece box!”

Me: “Unfortunately, she was correct and we are unable to do that. Only one in every nine pieces of chicken is a breast piece, and in order to fill your request we would have to cook an extra 81 pieces, which would severely affect our profit margin. Could I suggest the fillet—”

Customer: “You’re a f***ing f** aren’t you? You’re one of those queers!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask that—”

Customer: “F***ing f** boy!”

(The customer then descends into a tirade of graphic descriptions of the sexual acts he would expect me to perform as a homosexual. I’m finding it difficult to maintain composure at this point.)

Me: “Sir, if you do not stop immediately I’m going to have to call the police.”

Customer: “You wanna fight me, f** boy? I’ll f***ing kill you.”

(The customer gets out of his car and lunges at the window. I slam it shut and lock it.)

Customer: “Come out here and fight me, you queer!”

Me: “Sir, I cannot help you any more. Please leave my drive-thru immediately or I will call the police.”

Customer: “You can’t make me! Give me my f***ing chicken!”

(I pull out my phone and dial the police. As I’m explaining the situation, the customer has reverted to his tirade of sexual comments aimed at me.)

Me: “The police are on their way. You can either leave the store now or be removed.”

Customer: “You little f**! I’ll be back f** boy, just you f***ing wait!”

(The customer roars off. I’m shaking and my voicing is cracking at this point, having maintained composure for so long, but I stay at the serving window so I can explain the delay to the next few customers, and apologise to the next car, who witnessed the entire episode.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food restaurant], I’m so sorry about the delay there, I was un—”

Customer #2: “He’s right! You are a f***** aren’t you!”

(Worst shift I ever had.)

Un-Sue-table Behavior

, | MA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

(The fast food restaurant I work in has two areas. One is a large area where you order food at the counter and that contains several tables. The second is only a few feet below the first and is accessed by walking down two stairs. At the time of day, we have a section roped off since the restaurant is nearly empty. Two women walk up to the counter: a middle-aged woman and an elderly woman who appears to be her mother.)

Middle-aged Customer: “Hi, we’d like to order two breakfast meals, please.”

(As I take her order I notice the elderly customer glance behind her at the roped-off stairwell. She then starts to take two steps backward towards the stairs.)

Me: “Ma’am, please watch your step. There is a small set of stairs behind you.”

(The elderly customer glances behind her again, and then takes another few steps backward.)

Me: *repeating* “Ma’am, there is a set of stairs behind you. It is roped off, but please be careful because I don’t want you to fall or get hurt.”

(The elderly customer continues to step backwards, but before I can stop her, she dramatically falls backwards over the steps.)

Elderly Customer: “I just fell over your stairs! They weren’t properly secured! I think I hurt myself. I’m going to sue you personally, and this restaurant!”

Middle-aged Customer: *rolling eyes and not even turning around* “Mother, get up off the floor and come over here and get your breakfast. You aren’t hurt and you’re not suing anyone.” *to me* “Just ignore her. She tries these stunts everywhere she goes. Thankfully I drove here and not her. This is how she lost her driver’s license as well!”

The UK Is Football Mecca

| OH, USA | Bigotry

(I am a server at a popular bar and restaurant in a college town in Ohio. On Sundays, we are allowed to wear jerseys of our favourite teams. The following occurs when I approach a table on Parents’ Weekend wearing a Manchester City jersey with the Etihad Airways kit.)

Me: “Good afternoon, welcome to [restaurant].”

Woman: “I can’t believe they allow you to wear that! That shirt is horribly offensive!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Etihad? What is that? Some ‘Muslim Brotherhood’ thing, no doubt. We live in a Christian nation, you know! We don’t need any of your type around here!”

Me: “Um, ma’am, I was raised Catholic. This is a soccer jersey from Manchester City, in the UK.”

Woman: “I can’t believe they’d let a terrorist serve us in a place like this! We’re leaving!” *storms out*

This Boss Gets More Than Just The Check

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(A young gay couple has become my favorite regulars at the small restaurant where I work. One day as I am talking with them, an older, more conservative-looking man walks past us to the To-Go pickup area. He stops short next to us, and in the same moment, I see one of the young guys look down with a panicked expression at where he is holding his boyfriend’s hand.)

Older Man: “James! I didn’t know you ate here!”

James: *uncomfortable* “Oh yeah, um… it’s half way between work and my… boyfriend’s work, so.”

Older Man: *glances at James’ boyfriend* “Oh.”

(There is an awkward pause, where we all just stare at each other.)

Older Man: “I’m sorry, I’m being rude.” *offers his hand to James’ boyfriend* “I’m Mike, James’s boss. Very nice to meet you. We all love James in the office.”

James’ Boyfriend: “Oh! Nice to meet you too! You know, James is always talking about how much he looks up to you.”

(James is so visibly relieved that he is near tears. The three makes some more small talk before the older man heads off to pick up his lunch. I end up taking his payment and he quietly asks me to pay for James and his boyfriend’s meal as well.)

Older Man: “You know… when I was growing up, I was taught that being gay was bad, a sin. But that young man is the brightest kid I’ve ever known, and I can’t see a d*** thing wrong with him…” *pauses* “…or his boyfriend.”

(He smiles at me and then walks away without another word. To this day, I can’t think about the look on James’s face when I told him that his boss paid for his nearly $100 meal without wanting to cry.)

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