November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Food For Thor-t

| Tampa, FL, USA | Food & Drink, History, School, Top

(My awesome Viking History professor often has Middle Ages-reenactors who attend his class just to listen to him teach. On one occasion, he and five students decide to go to the ‘Steak and Ale’, a restaurant, in armor and long medieval gowns. The server is quite surprised at how they are dressed, and isn’t quite sure how to deal with them.)

Server: “Uh… what would you like to eat?”

(One of the guys in full plate armor takes his armored fist, and slams it down onto the table and shouts.)

Armored Guy: “MEAT!”

(The server jumps.)

Server: *nervously* “H-how do you want it?”

(The armored guy slams his fist down on the table again, and shouts.)

Armored Guy: “COOKED!”

(According to my professor, they somehow avoided getting thrown out of the restaurant!)

The Power To Be Nice

| Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(Houston has just gone through Hurricane Ike. Power is out in many areas, but some areas have gotten their power back much sooner than others. We can see a popular burrito place has power, and cooking smoke is coming from its roof. The smell is heavenly, so we go in to order a bunch of burritos for us and our friends. After giving my order of several burritos to the cashier, I add something.)

Me: “Thank you for being open today.”

(The cashier looks at me for a moment.)

Cashier: “Could you just wait a moment?”

(He then brings the owner up to me.)

Cashier: “Repeat what you just said.”

Me: *puzzled* “Thank you for being open today.”

Owner: “I just got shouted at by some woman for not having ice for ice tea—after a major hurricane! These workers came in, even though most of them would rather be with their own families, to help us use these supplies before they spoil.”

(He then taps the cashier.)

Owner: “Their order is free.”

Prices Are Frozen

| OH, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(I work at an ice-cream stand. A herd of small children come up to the counter. None are older than eight years old.)

Child: “Umm, miss, how much is that?”

Me: “How much is the cone? Or how much is one scoop on the cone?”

Child: “How much is the cone?”

Me: “Well, this cone is technically free. If you get one scoop on the sugar cone, then you only pay for the scoop of ice-cream.”

Child: “Okay, one sec.”

(All the children giggle, then run to a woman nearby. They chat for a bit, and then they run back.)

Child: “How much for the sugar cone?”

(I tell them, and they again run back to the woman standing nearby. They repeat this charade a few more times by asking the exact same questions, until they all finally order. Each one of them orders one scoop of ice-cream on the sugar cone. Their total comes out to about $30.The woman nearby later comes up and cuts in front of six customers.)

Woman: “Can I see a receipt for my order?”

Me: “Sorry, your kids paid in cash, and didn’t want the receipt; I threw it away.”

Woman: “Okay, well my kids told me that you told them that one scoop on a sugar cone was free. They all got one scoop on a sugar cone. WHY DID THAT COST $30?!”

Me: “I told them that the cone was free, but the scoop itself was [price].”

Woman: “That’s not what they told me.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I did tell them that.”

Woman: “Wow. You must be the biggest idiot if you cannot convey the price of ice-cream to children!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am.”

(She stands there glaring at me. The next two customers are a couple of guys, who then come up to the register to pay for their order.)

Guy #1: “Who the h*** hands their kid a 50, and sends them up to an ice-cream stand?”

(The woman hears him, and stares at him with her jaw dropped.)

Guy #2: *mocking the woman* “Where is my receipt?! Why are you so dumb?! Why did I have children?!”

(The woman scoffs loudly, and storms off.)

Me: “That was awkward.”

Guy #2: “That was hilarious! She was such a b**** to you!”

Guy #1: “I don’t think you did anything wrong!”

(He tips me $20, smiles, then walks away with his friend.)

Served With Just Desserts

| Scotland, UK | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a restaurant which is very gay-friendly. It’s not actually a gay restaurant, but half the waiting staff, two of the chefs, and the owner are all gay or bi. Many of the customers are gay couples. A tourist couple, a man and woman, comes in, and sits at a table.)

Me: *flamboyantly* “Hi, welcome! Here are your menus—”

Customer #1: “We want another server!”

Me: “Sorry, but I’m the only one that’s free at the moment, and you’re sitting in my area, but I can help you all the same.”

(The couple stands up and walk to another table on the other side of the restaurant. Their server comes up to the table; she’s a young woman who dresses very alternatively.)

Server: “Hi, there! Would you like to look at—”

(The couple stands up again, this time moving to a table being served by the only straight server in the restaurant today. They order happily, and the server leaves. The table is right next to the large opening where you can see the chefs cooking your food. The customers can be heard by one of the chefs,—who happens to be my boyfriend.)

Customer #1: “I can’t believe they let those people work with food. They’ll contaminate it.”

Customer #2: “I know! But don’t let it get to you; we have a good server now.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, but just look at them. That first man probably has AIDS, and they let him work in a restaurant! It’s disgusting!”

Chef: “Excuse me; please don’t talk about him that way. He doesn’t have AIDS. Even if he did, you wouldn’t catch it just because he served you food. He’s also my boyfriend, so stop it, or you’ll upset me and him.”

(The couple remains quiet until their server bring their drinks.)

Customer #1: “Make sure that thing doesn’t cook or touch any of my food.”

Server: “Sorry, I can’t do that. He is one of our best chefs, and he deals with items that you have ordered.”

Customer #2: “Well, have someone else make our food, someone clean!”

Server: “I assure you that our chefs take hygiene very seriously. We are very highly rated from health and safety—”

Customer #1: “MANAGER! NOW!”

(Their server gets the manager, a very well-dressed and flamboyant man.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer #1: “You’re one too?! A dirty gay! I can’t believe it! F*** you! F*** you all! Don’t any of you touch my food, my wife, or me! I don’t want your any of your dirty gay diseases!”

(The customers start referring to their server.)

Customer #2: “And to think you surround this poor boy with your heathen ways!” *to the server* “Come now, son, leave with us and we can save you from this evil lot!”

(All of the servers have gathered around the area. Many of the regular customers and their partners join too.)

Server: “You know what, you’re right! Why should I have to work in a place with such nasty people?”

(The couple smiles and move towards him, as if to take him away.)

Server: “You two, get the f*** out of here and leave me alone! We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, and you most certainly are not welcome here!”

(The couple runs out, flustered and embarrassed.)

Manager: “I couldn’t have said it any better myself!”

Server: “Thanks, Dad!”

Self-Serves Him Right

| Rolling Prairie, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m off the clock at the fast food restaurant I work at. I’m waiting for my manager to get off, because I’m his ride home. My manager is the cashier, and there’s only one other employee besides me there. A customer walks up to the counter.)

Manager: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea, please.”

Manager: “Okay, that’ll be [total].”

(The customer pays, and his receipt is printed off.)

Manager: “Your order number is 544, and it’ll be up shortly.”

Customer: “Can I have my drink?”

(My manager hands him a cup, since our drink station is self serve.)

Customer: “There’s no tea in this.”

Manager: “Yes, because our tea is self serve.”

Customer: “I don’t do self serve. I don’t work here.”

Manager: “So, let me get this straight, you want me to go out there and fill your cup up at our self-serve drink station?”

Customer: “Yes, like I said, I don’t work here. I shouldn’t have to get my own drink.”

(My manager turns to the other employee, who’s been listening to the entire conversation.)

Manager: “Would you fill up his drink for him?”

Employee: “No.”

Manager: “Good answer.”

(My manager turns back to the customer.)

Manager: “Sorry, sir, but I can not fill your drink for you.”

Customer: “Then give me my d*** money back.”

Manager: “Okay, here is your money, sir. Have a good night.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *walks away*

Me: “In nearly four years of being here, I’ve never seen a customer not want to fill up their own drink.”

Manager: “Same here.”

Me: “Makes me wonder though; how does he get gas? There aren’t any full service gas stations off the interstate.”

Manager: “Good point. Want a double cheese?”

Me: “Sure!”