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  • Come Clean With Your True Intentions

    | Bella Vista, AR, USA |

    (I am in the back doing dishes after the breakfast rush.)

    Manager: “Hey, [my name], a customer says that the men’s restroom is really dirty. Could you go clean it up?”

    (I go to the restroom to take a look. My manager comes with me. We quickly agree that the bathroom is not in any way dirty.)

    Manager: “Just sweep up a little and call it good.”

    (I leave to get the broom. While getting it, a customer comes up to me. At this point, I am not aware this customer is the one that complained to my manager.)

    Customer: “Is it okay in there?”

    (I assume he means is it okay to go in, and tell him yes. The customer goes in and comes right back out straight up to me.)

    Customer: “Bull****!”

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Customer: “That bathroom ain’t clean! I want to talk to your corporate office!”

    Me: “About what?”

    Customer: “This store is unacceptably dirty, and the workers are unfriendly!”

    Me: “I’m sorry—”

    Customer: “By the way, can I get a job here?”

    Option Overload, Part 2

    , | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “I would like a number eight. That comes with a fruit punch, right?”

    Me: “It comes with a large drink of your choice.”

    Customer: “The sign shows fruit punch.”

    Me: “Yes, but you can get what you want.”

    Customer: “But the sign shows fruit punch!”

    Related:
    Option Overload

    Just Roll With It

    | Arizona, USA | Food & Drink

    (I wait tables at a sushi place. I’m currently serving two male customers.)

    Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Look at her eyes. Just look at them!”

    Customer #2: *to me* “Can I get a lunch combo?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Did you not f***ing hear me? Look at her eyes!”

    Customer #2: *to customer #1* “I did. They’re beautiful!”

    Customer #1: *to me* “Can I have a lunch combo? Also, I love you!”

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 3

    | Canada | Food & Drink

    (There are at least 10 people in the restaurant. I am the only person manning front counter, so when I finish bagging each order, I call out what I’m holding so the customer can come pick it up.)

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo. Cheeseburger combo!”

    Customer: *raises his hand*

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo?”

    Customer: *takes bag*

    (I continue taking orders and bagging them as they come up. Two minutes later, the customer that took the cheeseburger combo comes back.)

    Customer: “Hey, this is a cheeseburger combo. I ordered a chicken burger!”

    (I take the cheeseburger combo back from him and continue bagging orders. About a minute later, he has his chicken burger.)

    Me: *gives him his chicken burger*

    Customer: *gives me a condescending look and stomps off*

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    Easy Sleazy Customers

    | Arizona, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’m a waitress at a sushi place.)

    Me: “Well, thank you for coming in gentlemen. Have a great day!”

    Customer #1: “You were really great to us, so thank you.”

    Me: “Yeah, of course, anytime! You guys were easy to take care of!”

    Customer #2: “We were easy?”

    Me: “I didn’t mean it like that!”

    Customer #2: “It’s okay, I’d be easy for you! Have a great day.”

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