(I’m a waitress at a sushi place.)
Me: “Well, thank you for coming in gentlemen. Have a great day!”
Customer #1: “You were really great to us, so thank you.”
Me: “Yeah, of course, anytime! You guys were easy to take care of!”
Customer #2: “We were easy?”
Me: “I didn’t mean it like that!”
Customer #2: “It’s okay, I’d be easy for you! Have a great day.”
(I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)
Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”
Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”
Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”
Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”
Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!
- War Can Be Taxing:
The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
- Taxation With Agitation:
It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
- Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
- Taxing Customers:
However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
- Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I’m working the drive through on a busy night and have just handed out a customer’s order. I’m saying “goodbye” when this conversation happens.)
Customer: “Does your left hip hurt?”
Me: *confused* “No…?”
Customer: “Oh, well, how about your throat?”
Me: *wondering what my hip has to do with my throat* “Nope.”
Customer: “Oh, well, that’s good. That’s very good.”
Me: “All right, have a nice night.”
(I’m a waiter in a very authentic, very small Japanese restaurant. I’m filling drinks at a table of four people in their mid-twenties—two guys and two girls.)
Customer: “Um, yeah…so, I have a question.”
Me: “Sure. What would you like to know?”
Customer: “Yeah…so, like…um…Japanese…uh…Asians…do Asian people like dessert?”
Me: “Well, of course they enjoy dessert. Doesn’t everyone?”
Customer: “So, like…what do they eat, then?”
Me: “Sweet things. Cake, ice cream, candy, and all kinds of sweets.”
Customer: “Oh. So just like us?”
Me: “Yes… just like us.”
(She stares at me, unable to understand why I’m grinning in disbelief. No words are exchanged, so I walk away. As I’m walking, I hear her friend say, “Wow, he hates you.” At the end of her meal she asks for a fortune cookie.)