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    Illegal Tender

    , | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)

    Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”

    (The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)

    Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”

    Mentally Closed Down

    | Goodyear, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s a little after 10:00 PM and two customers walk in.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]! Two tonight?”

    Customer: “Are you about to close?”

    Me: “No, we are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *to his friend* “Let’s go then, dude.”

    Some Are Born Deaf To Manners

    | Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (We employ a deaf, hard-working lady at our restaurant.)

    Customer: *agitated* “Excuse me, are you the manager?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “That employee over there ignored me. I asked for help, even yelled, and she just walked right by. She is rude!”

    Me: “Sir, she is deaf.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t matter! Your employees must answer when I call!”

    Me: “Sir, she is deaf. She can’t hear you at all. Even if you got her attention, she wouldn’t respond unless you use sign language or let her read your lips.”

    Customer: “Well, then why does she work here?”

    Me: “Because she is a hard worker and does her job well.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t hire rude people!”

    Me: *shaking my head*

    On The Need For Meant-al Telepathy

    | Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I would like a vanilla chai latte without the chai.”

    Me: “So, you want a vanilla latte?”

    Customer: “No, I want a vanilla chai latte without the chai! As a professional, aren’t you meant to know what I mean?”

    Me: “Of course. Ma’am, one vanilla chai latte without chai coming right up.”

    (I make her a vanilla latte and she takes a sip.)

    Me: “Is that what you wanted, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! You’re meant to tell me!”

    Nanny Nanny Boo Boo, The Golden Years

    | Maine, USA | Bizarre

    (An older gentleman is standing at the register looking directly at me.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Older customer: “Do I look like I need help? No! Oh, boo hoo, I’m a poor little boy who needs help!” *blows his tongue at me and leaves*

    Me: “What just happened to me?”

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