November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Too Hot, Too Cold, Therein Lies The Rib

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A woman orders a rack of ribs. The menu clearly states that it is a FULL rack. When they are ready, I immediately bring them to her table.)

Customer: “Oh, my God, this is too much! Why didn’t you tell me this was so big? Can you bring these back and ask the chef to cut them in half and put half of them in a box?”

Me: “Oh, sure. I’ll be right back.”

(I go to the kitchen and tell the chef the customer’s request.)

Chef: “Doesn’t she know what a FULL RACK of ribs is?”

Me: “Apparently not.”

(He is annoyed, but cuts the rack in half, and boxes half. I bring the box and the remaining ribs back out to the customer.)

Customer: “Um, miss! These are cold! Why are you serving me cold food?”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry; they must have cooled down while I was bringing them back and having him cut them for you. I would be happy to—”

Customer: “Go tell him to heat them up in a microwave! I’m not eating cold food!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, right away.”

(I bring the ribs back. The chef looks like he wants to murder me.)

Chef: “What now?”

Me: “She says they’re cold.”

Chef: “Give me the ribs.”

(He puts them in the microwave for two minutes, and they are piping hot when they come out.)

Chef: “Here, this should make her happy.”

(I bring the ribs back to the table a third time. The woman obviously sees the steam rising from the plate, but immediately grabs the ribs. She drops them, crying out in pain.)

Customer: “Ow! Why are these so hot? Don’t you test the food before you bring it out to make sure it’s not too hot?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have any way to test it. It should be cool enough to eat in just a few seconds.”

Customer: “What do you mean you can’t test it? Just touch it!”

Me: “You want me to touch your food? With my hands?”

Customer: “Yes! I don’t see what’s so hard about that! You kids these days! Honestly!”

Me: “Enjoy your meal, ma’am.”

Some Customers Have Good Taste

, | New York City, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a fast food chain. I have just finished dealing with an absolutely horrendous customer, but I cannot take a break yet. My boss is sympathetic, but a little strict about breaks. I steel myself for the next customer.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “One second, sorry.”

(She is writing something on a slip of paper.)

Customer: “Okay, thanks for waiting. Can I get some sweet tea? Also, that last guy was a jerk. Here!”

(She hands me the piece of paper. It says: ‘’.)

Customer: “If you need to feel better, then go here!”

(Thank you so much, miss! I had never heard of this site before today, and I’m so glad you were kind to me!)

They Are Calorie Counting On Each Other

, | Eugene, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am a customer. There’s a woman in line ahead of me, already at the register and ordering for herself and three kids, and a guy behind me. Another customer comes in. He looks to be in a rush, muttering under his breath about people not ordering until they know what they want. The young woman working the register has a slight but obvious German accent, but not thick enough to present any difficulty communicating at all. I get to the counter.)

Me: “Hi! I’d like a regular meal, but can I substitute the drink with a shake?”

(The cashier repeats it back to me, as one would logically do to make sure. The impatient customer barks at her.)

Impatient Customer: “If you spoke English right, you’d know that’s what he said the first time!”

Me: “I’ll bet her English is a h*** of a lot better than your German, dude.”

Impatient Customer: “I don’t have to know that s***, because we’re in America!”

Me: “And I can take my time giving her my order… because we’re in America.”

(I turn to the cashier.)

Me: “Do you still have any of the strawberry pies tonight?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir. Would you like one?”

Me: “I don’t know. Is the calorie amount listed for them on the menu right?”

(The cashier smiles as she catches on.)

Cashier: “I believe so, sir. If you’ll wait just a moment, I’ll bring the official list from the office to make sure.”

(As she starts to turn toward the office, a second cashier comes from the back and tells her that she’ll go get it for her. The impatient customer has had enough. He starts moaning to the customer in line behind me.)

Impatient Customer: “This is bull-s***!”

Customer Behind Me: “Those pies sound good. I want to know more about them.”

(The impatient customer turns to the cashier.)

Impatient Customer: “Get your manager!”

(The second cashier is just putting a key in the office door. She turns toward the impatient customer and smiles.)

Second Cashier: “I’m the manager, sir. I’ll be happy to help you as soon as I get the nutritional information for the gentleman who is being served right now. You’ll be served when your turn comes, or I can ring you up myself as soon as I get the list. I’m not sure where it is in there, though, so I may be a while.”

(The impatient customer is now red-faced, and turns to each of us as he enunciates each word, looking at me first.)

Impatient Customer: “F***. ALL. OF. YOU! I’m going to [other fast food chain]!”

(He storms out and we all start laughing. I look at my watch.)

Me: “[Other fast food chain] closed three minutes ago.”

Perhaps He Can’t Count That High

, | MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(A family approach my counter.)

Customer: “Uh. Can I get a number six, with mac and cheese? And a medium drink.”

(His family orders their food, and I make the sandwich—his number six— and plate the rest of the food. Our number six doesn’t come with a biscuit, but his father and mother’s meals do.)

Customer: “Hey. HEY!”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “We’re short one biscuit.”

(Even though I know he isn’t, I give him one. Five minutes later, I see him stand up, and start screaming.)


(He barges up, and slams his sandwich down.)


Me: “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry! I thought you said number six! That one comes with a bun! Sorry, again!”


Stick It To The (Business) Man

| Liuzhou, Guangxi, China | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(My family are visiting my mother’s hometown in China. We are at a noodle shop for breakfast, where I am buying a stick of fried dough. I am a 12-year-old American-born-Chinese, so I can speak Chinese relatively well.)

Me: “Hello, can I get a—”

(A businessman barges in front of me, cutting me off mid-sentence.)

Businessman: “I need two sticks, hurry!”

(The man behind the stall looks shocked, but still takes the man’s money before reaching to get the fried dough sticks.)

Me: “Excuse me, I was in front of you. You cut in front of me.”

Businessman: “No, you weren’t! You were still walking over here when I was ordering! You should respect your elders! Kids these days!”

(He continues berating me until the man gives him his fried dough sticks. I glare at the businessman as he walks away, before turning to the man at the stall.)

Man: “Wow, you must be so brave to stick up like that! That guy has been bothering me for ages! He’s always acting like that.”

Me: “You’re welcome. So, could I please have a stick of fried dough?”

(The man happily gives me my stick of fried dough, smiling the whole time. He said that I made his day!)