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    The Fries Are Tastier On The Other Side

    | Ottawa, Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work at a food court restaurant that primarily serves fries. On quiet days like today, we do all our cooking to order. A group of three French women have just come up to our counter and are trying to decide what to order. They each get an order of fries and gravy and leave to sit and eat. Suddenly, the first customer comes back to the counter.)

    Customer #1: “I want new fries.”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry. Was there something wrong with your food?”

    Customer #1: “Their fries taste better.”

    Me: “Pardon me?”

    Customer #1: “I tried my fries, then I tried their fries. Theirs are better, so I want new ones!”

    (All three women’s fries were from the same batch, cooked and prepared exactly the same way.)

    Actividad Paranormal

    | Washington, USA | Bizarre

    (An older latino woman comes into the shop speaking rapidly in Spanish.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: *continues to speak rapidly in Spanish*

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish, but I can get somebody who can.”

    (I go to the back to get one of the other employees that speaks Spanish. After a few minutes, my coworker comes back shacking his head.)

    Me: “What did the woman want?”

    Coworker: “She’s not right.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Coworker: “She says that we have the spirit of a murdered boy in our basement.”

    Me: “But we don’t have a basement.”

    Coworker: “Exactly.”

    No Bloody Sensitivity Anywhere

    | New York, USA | Health & Body

    (I work at a bar and grill on the breakfast shift. I have just badly cut my finger and have blood running down my hand. As I am running to the kitchen for first aid, a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I get a glass of orange juice please?”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I come right back to you? I need to take care of this.”

    (I raise my hand up to show her that my hand is bleeding all over.)

    Customer: “The service here is terrible. I want my orange juice!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really need to go take care of this.”

    Customer: “Forget it!” *storms out without paying for her meal*

    Related:
    A Serious Case Of Insensitivity, Part 2
    Call 911: We’ve Got A Serious Case Of Insensitivity

    Placebo Me, Part 6

    | Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m dropping off a drink at a party of about 10 guys and girls. They look like they wish they were on the Jersey Shore. One of the girls has ordered a double gin and tonic. Before I walk away, the girl calls me back.)

    Girl: “This drink isn’t right. I ordered a gin and tonic and this tastes like it has vodka in it…and maybe soda.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll get that fixed up for you right away.”

    (I take it to my bartender, who looks at it, pours it into a different shaped glass, then hands it back to me. I take it back to the table and give it to the customer.)

    Girl: “Ah, this is much better. Thank you!”

    Me: “You’re very welcome!”

    Related:
    Placebo Me, Part 5
    Placebo Me, Part 4
    Placebo Me, Part 3
    Placebo Me, Part 2
    Placebo Me

    Jessica Simpson Isn’t The Only One

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m on the phone taking an order for pick-up.)

    Customer: “I’d like 50 wings please.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like those buffalo?”

    Customer: “No, chicken.”

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