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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

    | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “How much is a push pop?”

    Me: “75 cents.”

    Customer: “What is that, a dollar?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Who’s Teaching Who Manners

    | Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I bus tables at a buffet-style restaurant. I approach a table of two middle-aged women and a girl who looks to be around 8 years old.)

    Me: “Hello! I’ll be your service assistant today. How is everything tasting so far?”

    Woman: “Fine.”

    (I walk away and let them continue eating. I return about 10 minutes later.)

    Me: “Why don’t I get these empty plates out of your way?”

    (Both women completely ignore me. I take the plates and start to walk away.)

    Girl: *yells to her mom* “Shouldn’t you say ‘thank you’?!”

    (I start giggling and duck into the bus station. Later, I return to the table to pickup the next round of plates.)

    Both women: *beaming* “Thank you!”

    (The majority of people do not tip us. They end up leaving me $5.)

    Stop And Stair, Part 2

    | Kennebunkport, ME, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Where are your stairs to get back to the street?”

    Me: “Right behind me, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, I said the stairs to go DOWN!”

    Me: “We only have this set of stairs and our fire exit. These are the stairs that lead down to the street.”

    Customer: “But I came up these. I can’t go down them. Stairs only go one way!”

    Me: “Let me show you to the elevator…”

    Related:
    Stop And Stair

    The Secret Is In The Sauce

    , | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink

    (We moved to America because my dad’s work was transported to a new port. He is very bad with English, so many hilarious moments ensued when he buys food. At the moment, this fast food restaurant is heavily marketing one of its burgers. My dad decides he wants to try one.)

    Cashier: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

    Dad: “Yes, I would like the Big and Nasty Burger, please!”

    Cashier: “Excuse me?”

    Dad: “The Big and Nasty Burger!”

    Cashier: “Um, do you mean the Big and Tasty Burger, sir?”

    Dad: “Yes, that’s what I said! The Big and Nasty!”

    A Slippery Slimy Slope

    | Detroit, MI, USA |

    (I cashier at a food booth for a festival every year. One year, a customer comes up to order with a large stuffed animal of a blue clown fish sticking out of his jean pocket. He pulls the fish out of his pocket and points it at me.)

    Customer: “Would you like to kiss my fish?”

    Me: “Uh, no. Thank you.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (At the moment, my little sister is sitting next to me doing some work. He then points to my sister, who isn’t paying attention.)

    Customer: “Does she want to kiss my fish?”

    Me: “Uh, no, she definitely doesn’t.”

    Customer: “Haha, okay.”

    (He takes his food and leaves.)


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