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    Just Roll With It

    | Arizona, USA | Food & Drink

    (I wait tables at a sushi place. I’m currently serving two male customers.)

    Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Look at her eyes. Just look at them!”

    Customer #2: *to me* “Can I get a lunch combo?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Did you not f***ing hear me? Look at her eyes!”

    Customer #2: *to customer #1* “I did. They’re beautiful!”

    Customer #1: *to me* “Can I have a lunch combo? Also, I love you!”

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 3

    | Canada | Food & Drink

    (There are at least 10 people in the restaurant. I am the only person manning front counter, so when I finish bagging each order, I call out what I’m holding so the customer can come pick it up.)

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo. Cheeseburger combo!”

    Customer: *raises his hand*

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo?”

    Customer: *takes bag*

    (I continue taking orders and bagging them as they come up. Two minutes later, the customer that took the cheeseburger combo comes back.)

    Customer: “Hey, this is a cheeseburger combo. I ordered a chicken burger!”

    (I take the cheeseburger combo back from him and continue bagging orders. About a minute later, he has his chicken burger.)

    Me: *gives him his chicken burger*

    Customer: *gives me a condescending look and stomps off*

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    Easy Sleazy Customers

    | Arizona, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’m a waitress at a sushi place.)

    Me: “Well, thank you for coming in gentlemen. Have a great day!”

    Customer #1: “You were really great to us, so thank you.”

    Me: “Yeah, of course, anytime! You guys were easy to take care of!”

    Customer #2: “We were easy?”

    Me: “I didn’t mean it like that!”

    Customer #2: “It’s okay, I’d be easy for you! Have a great day.”

    Eating For Free (And For Two)

    , | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”

    Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”

    Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”

    Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”

    Weekend Roundup: Attack Of The Tax!

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!

    1. War Can Be Taxing:
      The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
    2. Taxation With Agitation:
      It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
    3. Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
      We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
    4. Taxing Customers:
      However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
    5. Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
      Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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