How To Give Customers The Crepes

| Poughkeepsie, NY, USA | Food & Drink

(The restaurant phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m calling to take a survey for my free short stack of pancakes.”

(On receipts, there is a number to call for surveys, but she has called the restaurant.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you appear to have called the wrong number. You are supposed to call the number on your receipt, not the restaurant number.”

Customer: “No! I’m taking this survey over the phone right now! Give me your manager!”

(I proceed to call the manager, who comes up and takes the phone. I notice a woman talking into the phone and hear the exact voice I was talking to.)

Me: “[Manager], this woman is actually sitting in the restaurant!”

Manager: *into the phone* “One moment, ma’am.” *hangs up, then turns to me* “Where is she sat?”

Me: *points over to her table* “Right there.”

(He proceeds to walk over to the table with me in tow.)

Manager: “Excuse me, ma’am. You have to exit the restaurant before you can claim your free pancakes.”

Customer: “HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS ME?! YOU STALKERS! I’M CALLING THE POLICE!” *storms out, red faced and embarrassed*

The Grinch Comes Earlier Every Year

, | IN, USA | Holidays, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

(I have rung up a customer, and hand her the food. She is getting ready to drive away.)

Me: “Have a happy Thanksgiving!”

Customer: *yelling fairly loudly* “Well, that was rude! It’s ‘Happy Holidays.’ Saying Thanksgiving is politically incorrect! Stupid girl!”

Not Sweet On The Potato

, | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work for a small, privately-owned fast food chain, and we often receive many questions about our food and what goes into each item. I notice a man that ordered a few moments ago is lingering at the counter trying to look into the back. I excuse myself and approach him.)

Me: “Did you have any questions, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, what do you put in your fries?”

Me: “Our fries?”

Customer: “Your fries. What do you put in them?”

Me: “Well, we salt them, but that’s—”

Customer: “No! What do you put in the fries?!”

Me: “Um… potatoes?”

Customer: “Do you have a manager? Where is your manager?!”

(My manager comes up to the counter to see what is wrong.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(By now, the customer is speaking loud enough for the whole dining room to hear him.)

Customer: “What do you put in your fries?!”

Manager: “…I’m sorry?”

Me: “I think he wants to know what the ingredients for the fries are.”

Customer: “Yes! What do you put in the fries?”

Manager: “Potatoes.”

(The customer points in a very angry manner toward the back of the kitchen where we cook the fries.)

Customer: “No! I want to know it says on that box of what you put in your fries! Bring me that box, RIGHT NOW!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m not allowed to bring it to the front. Now, please…”

(After a minute or two of talking with my manager, the man seems to quiet down. I figure everything has been resolved and began chatting with the pair of customers from earlier. Soon, the irate customer receives his food and starts walking out of the store.)

Me: “Thank you for coming to [restaurant].”

Customer: “I’M GOING TO GIVE THIS TO MY SON EVEN IF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHAT’S IN IT!” *leaves*

Paying It Cool

| Reno, NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(It’s very rainy day on the weekend. The restaurant is very busy, but I am the only person working due to payroll issues. I have twice slipped in a puddle of water customers have dragged in, and I have hurt myself a bit. Customer #1 is a rude new customer, and Customer #2 is an elderly woman, also new. Both taking advantage of a half-off promotion. I’m running the bar making a margarita and taking a to-go order, but I am still a little shaken up from my fall. I drop the top to a mixer and it clatters on the floor.)

Customer #1: *mocking voice* “Oh no, don’t fall.”

(Her whole table laughs. I blush and ignore the rude customer and continue doing my job. I start the rounds to see if anyone else needs a refill when I reach Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “I have to say, you handled that situation very coolly.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. It was just a little fall.”

Customer #2: “No, the other situation.” *turns to look at Customer #1, who looks away*

Me: “Oh no, it’s okay. That my job; I’m here to serve!”

Customer #2: “Regardless, you were so level-headed even though that looked like it hurt pretty bad. You’re just so cool, handling it like you are!”

(Customer #1 has stopped eating and is just blushing and staring at her food.)

Me: “It really is okay. I’m just doing my job.”

Customer #2: “And you’re doing a great job! You’re just so much cooler than some other people. You’re a great waiter!”

(By now, I’m blushing.)

Me: “Thank you, can I get you anything else?”

(Hearing this, Customer #1 slaps some cash on the table and leaves just barely enough to cover her meal. When Customer #2 leaves after her, she leaves $11 dollars extra and gives me a Peace sign. Thank you, ma’am, that made me so happy! I used the extra money to buy snacks for the kitchen staff!)

Not Quite The Muffin Top Of The Class

, | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am working on drive-thru at a major fast food restaurant.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please place your order.”

Customer: “Can I have a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin?”

Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins.”

Customer: “No… I want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Me: “Umm… so, two bacon and egg muffins?

Customer: “No!”

Me: “You just said you want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Customer: “I want a bacon muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins, one without egg.”

Customer: “No! Just give me two bacon and egg muffins.”

Me: *gives up* “…Sure. That will just be $7.30 at the first window.”

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