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  • A Pack Of The Clones

    | UK | Bizarre, Top

    (Instead of having a definite job role I am just expected to help out wherever the restaurant is short. On this day, I have been cleaning.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your toilets are?”

    Me: “Just through there, sir. Just give me a moment to get the cleaning stuff out of there.”

    (I clear the toilet and leave. On my way downstairs, I am asked to open the bar up for the customers. I change and do so.)

    Same Customer: “Oh, weren’t you just upstairs?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Can I get you anything?”

    Same Customer: *nervous look* “Uh, I’ll just have a coffee. I’m sitting over there…”

    (After serving, I change again and start waiting tables.)

    Me: “Hello again. Can I take your order?”

    Same Customer: *upset* No…no…I think I’ll have to leave…”

    Me: “Are you okay, sir?”

    Same Customer: “I can’t eat in a place that employs CLONES! CLONES! CLONES EVERYWHERE!” *leaves*

    Dingbats In The Drive-Thru

    , | Derby, UK | Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in the drive-thru area of a well known fast food store. I’m taking an order out to a customer who, instead of parking in the designated bays, has parked in the main car park. The car he is parked next to just happens to be mine.)

    Me: “One burger meal?”

    (The customer throws open his door with great speed, slamming it into my car and leaving a noticeable dent. In shock, I drop his paper bag.)

    Customer: “What on EARTH do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “You just hit my car!”

    Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

    (At this point I’m too shocked to do anything other than stand there and try not to cry.)

    Customer: “So, are you going to compensate me?”

    Me: “What for?”

    Customer: “You just dropped my food on the floor. I demand a full refund and maybe some extras.”

    Me: “Sir, you just dented my car with extreme force. I don’t particularly feel inclined to do anything other than replace the meal I dropped, to be completely honest.”

    Customer: “That is RIDICULOUS! You owe me £5 for that meal!”

    Me: “With all due respect sir, if I may please have your insurance details, we’ll see just how much you owe me!”

    Working Like A Dog

    , | USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (At our fast food restaurant, a customer walks in with a seeing eye dog. It’s in training with a clearly-marked blue vest and two trainers. However, a customer behind her begins complaining.)

    Customer: “Man, I thought your sign said dogs ain’t allowed!”

    Me: *to a trainer* “Ma’am, it’s a working dog in training, correct?”

    Trainer: “Yes. She has to be trained in public before they’ll allow her to go to a patient.”

    Me: “Sir, she’s a working dog. They’re allowed in public buildings by state law.”

    Customer: “Man, that’s bulls***!”

    Me: “Why’s that, sir?”

    Customer: “That dog don’t work here!”

    Weekly Roundup: So Long, Sexism

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Roundups

    So Long, Sexism: This week, we feature five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers!

    1. The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back:
      A sexist fast food customer faces women in power–everywhere!
    2. The Land Of Milk And Money:
      Don’t have a cow, man–ladies understand farming, too.
    3. Cross-Platform Chromosomes:
      Games may be platform-specific, but video gamers are gender neutral!
    4. Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica:
      News flash from Bigotland: half of America ain’t American.
    5. The Spice Girls Have A Lot To Answer For:
      Yes, “Ladies go first”–except when they’re cutting in line!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Would You Like Brains With That

    , | England, UK | Food & Drink

    (Our store usually sells side orders with several meals: three hot and one cold. One night, both of our microwaves have broken so we can only offer coleslaw.)

    Me: “Unfortunately all our hot sides are gone today. I’m afraid I can only offer you coleslaw or extra fries as options.”

    Customer: “Can I swap the coleslaw for a gravy?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not; all our hot sides are unavailable. Are you okay with coleslaw or extra fries?”

    Customer: “Oh, no hot sides…can I have beans, then?”

    Me: “No. Sorry, as I mentioned you can only choose from coleslaw or extra fries. So, which would you like?”

    Customer: “I don’t really like coleslaw or fries…can I have a corn instead?”

    Me: “Um, no, you can’t. As I’ve already explained, we don’t have any hot side orders: just coleslaw or extra fries today. I’m sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Well, you should have said something, then!”

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