November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Dealing With A Very Sour Lemon

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a waiter at a very popular Italian restaurant chain. I am serving two middle-aged women. Customer #1 is a very frumpy woman, while Customer #2 is much nicer and does not make a single complaint. I start by welcoming them.)

Me: “Good evening, ladies, welcome to [Restaurant]! Would you like to try our—”

Customer #1: “Iced tea, unsweetened, with lemon.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we have just run out of lemon. I could substitute it with a lime, if you’d like.”

Customer #1: “I can’t drink iced tea without the lemon! What kind of restaurant runs out of lemon?! Fine, I’ll have a diet soda with lemon, then.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we’re out of lemon. We have iced tea and diet soda, but we’re out of lemon.”

Customer: “I CAN’T DRINK DIET SODA WITHOUT LEMON! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR RUNNING OUT OF LEMONS!” *she calms down a bit* “Okay, I’ll have a water with lemon.”

(I see her friend mouth “Sorry!” at me. Later on, after the drink fiasco and their meals have been served, I come to check back on them.)

Me: “How are your meals so far, ladies?”

Customer #1: “My food is great, but the tines on my fork are too far apart, and I cannot twirl my pasta properly!”

Me: “Oh, I am very sorry, but these are the only forks we have.” *turning my attention towards Customer #2, as I’ve had enough of Customer #1’s complaints* “How is your food, ma’am?”

Customer #2: “Well, my dinner is excellent, young man. You are an outstanding server!”

(After they paid the check, which they had requested to be separate, I find that Customer #1 has left me a very disappointing tip, but Customer #2 has left me more than enough to make up for dealing with her friend’s outrageous behavior!)

Not Always Right: The Comic – Crashed Diet

| NY, USA | Not Always Right: The Comic

Read the full story here.

How To Narrowly Avoid An Argument

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(It is late at night and I have been in the order taker booth in the drive-thru. The lane itself can be narrow at some points and many customers sometimes struggle in navigating it. A customer drives up and I can see that he has trouble navigating the drive-thru lane.)

Customer: “Your drive-thru is really narrow. You should fix it.”

Me: *with a weird look* “Well, I didn’t design the bloody thing 30-plus years ago, so why are you telling me?”

(The customer then remained silent during the rest of the transaction and drove off.)

A Big Mayo No No

| WA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am pregnant, and I find my brain occasionally ceases functioning. I often find myself at a loss for words. One night, while picking up dinner at a popular submarine sandwich shop, I confidently asked the young man making my sandwich for ‘brown mayonnaise.’)

Employee: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Brown mayonnaise?”

Employee: “I… but… brown? Mayonnaise?”

Me: “Yes, please! Just a little bit, though.”

Employee: “I’m just so sorry, but I’ve never heard of brown mayonnaise, and we definitely don’t have any. I have regular mayonnaise, light mayonnaise, yellow mustard, brow… oh!” *grabs his bottle of brown mustard and offers it to me just as my brains clicks on*

Me: “Did I seriously just ask you for brown mayonnaise, like, three times? I’m so sorry. Mustard. I definitely meant mustard.”

Employee: “Thank goodness, because brown mayonnaise does not sound good at ALL.”

(I had to agree.)

More Money, More Problems

| Warwick, RI, USA | Bad Behavior

(It is a very busy day, and our small restaurant is crawling with customers. One woman comes in wearing very “fancy” clothing. This is the interaction that followed.)

Woman: “I’ll have a small latte and two cheeseburgers, right now!”

Me: “I’d be happy to serve you, but as you can see we’re very busy right now.”

Woman: “Make it snappy!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll try.”

(Not even one minute later, and this happens.)

Woman: “I demand to be served right now!”

Me: “One moment, please.”

Woman: “Do you have any idea who I am?! I can buy and sell you! Do you see my clothes?! I’m f****** rich!”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, I have a job to do. Could you please sit down in that room over there, so as to not irritate the other customers?”

Woman: “What did you say!? Did you just tell me to s*** in that room!? Are you implying I’m mad because I haven’t gone to the bathroom!? That is disgusting!”

(At this point my boss has come out to watch, and has been secretly observing the woman for the minute or so. He decides to come out of the shadows and help me out.)

Boss: “Ma’am, you’re disgusting! You think because you have more money than some people, that you are entitled to service before other people, and said that you can buy and sell my employee. I’m going to ask that you get out of my store right now!”

Woman: “Well, I never! I’m not coming here ever again!”

Me & Boss: “Okay, thanks!”