• Gloating About Gluten
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Couldn’t Really Blame Him For Frying

    | NY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m at a public pool that has pretty lenient employees at the “Snack Shack.” It should be noted that at the Shack, the customer pays BEFORE receiving their food.)

    Employee: “Fries are ready!”

    Little Boy: “My dad ordered those.” *takes fries and runs away*

    (A few minutes later…)

    Man: “Hi, I ordered my fries a while ago. Are they ready yet?”

    Employee: “Uh, yeah. Your son just came by and already took them.”

    Man: “What? I don’t have a son…”

    Employee: *widens eyes* “Wait… What? That little lucky punk! He stole— argh. Sorry, I’ll get you your fries. Ugh…”

    Going Off The Deep End

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am a lifeguard at a public pool. While guarding the diving boards, I hear a loud smack from behind me. I turn to see two children who look to be about 10 or 11, standing in line for the high dive, yelling at each other.)

    Me: “Excuse me, is there a problem?”

    Boy: “YEAH! She hit me!”

    Girl: “NO! He hit me first!”

    Boy: “Nuh-uh! You hit ME first!”

    (I look and see that both children have red marks on their face, as if they were recently slapped. However, I have no way of finding out who started this fight.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but—”

    Woman In Line: “Send them to the back of the line! Punish those brats!”

    Me: *to woman* “Don’t worry, ma’am; I’ve got this situation under—”

    Boy: “You can’t send me to the back! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

    (The boy runs off in terror.)

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line! You can’t make me! I’ve been in line FOREVER!”

    Me: “I’m not going to send you to the back if the line. I just—”

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line!”

    Me: “I didn’t say—”


    (The girl stomps away to get her father. A few minutes later, a rather large and intimidating man comes up to me.)

    Man: “Look, I’m sorry for how my daughter acted. We’ve been trying to teach her some manners. Don’t worry about it.”

    (Later, I find out that the man called the lead lifeguard, and I got officially commended!)