November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Has Some Hang-Ups About Your Answer

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(A customer calls my print shop to ask about pricing on self-inking stamps. I speak with her briefly, and then she accidentally hangs up on me. She had been nothing but friendly and polite while on the phone with me. While waiting for her to call back, other customers enter the print center, so I begin to help them. The phone rings, and a coworker answers. My coworker and the stamp customer have the following exchange.)

Coworker: “Ma’am? I’m sorry about the wait. The lady that was helping you earlier is with a customer. I could give you the stamp pricing and information if you want?”

Customer: *angry* “What?! Can’t you find that girl I was talking to?!”

Coworker: “She’s currently helping another customer. I can place you back on hold if you’d rather wait for her.”

Customer: “NO! What if my phone hangs up again?!  You put that girl on the phone RIGHT NOW!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, she’s helping other people. If you just wanted some information on stamps, I can give you the information you need.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Your customer service is terrible! I can’t believe you’d make me wait when my phone might hang up again at any minute! Never mind! I’m going to [Other Store]!” *hangs up*

(The coworker and I exchange glances.)

Me: “It’s probably best that you didn’t tell her [Other Store] and ours are the same company.”

Can’t Escape The Pull Of Stupidity

| GA, USA | Extra Stupid

(Our office has two sets of glass doors, both of which swing open like French doors. There are door handles on the outside leading in, and a push bar to get out. For some reason customers can not figure out how to get into the shop using the handle. I walk out of the office to bring some paper work down the hall to two more offices. While walking to the second office I see someone standing right in front of the office/shop doors. I make it back to the office doors, where the person is still standing.)

Customer: *who doesn’t realize I work there* “The doors are locked and the woman in there won’t get up to open the door.”

Me: “Well, she’s not getting up because the doors are not locked.”

Customer: “How do you know that’s why she won’t get up?”

Me: “Because I also work here, and I don’t get up when I know the door is unlocked.”

Customer: “If the door’s not locked, why won’t it open?”

Me: “Did you try pulling the door towards you to open it?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Go ahead and try that.”

(The customer pulls the door open.)

Customer: “…Oh.”

Needs To Re-edit Their Workload

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I have a regular customer who comes in and asks me to help him type up real estate documents, as he is an elderly real estate agent who lacks a secretary, and his typing skills are nil. Usually, his work takes quite a while and he is always willing to let me help other customers with basic orders in between working on his documents.)

Me: “All right, sir. Here’s a printed copy of the documents we just edited. If you would just review those and let me know if we need to change anything? I’m going to step aside so [Coworker] can help her customer really quick, then I’ll finish your order.”

Customer: *mumbles assent and takes stack of papers*

(I wait off to one side while my customer reads his paperwork. When he’s finished, my coworker is just about to wrap up with HER customer, when my customer speaks up.)

Customer: “HEY! When did I get pushed to the side?! We’re working on my order!”

Me: “Err… [Coworker] was just finishing up some quick prints for her customer, but we can get back to working on yours, I suppose!”

(I sit, bring up the rest of the customer’s documents and ask him for his notes. My coworker apologizes to her customer and the two of them wait off to one side.)

Me: *pulling up the next set of notes* “So, what did we need to do with this set?”

Customer: “Why don’t you help that girl!? If she’s just going to print a few things, you might as well get them out of the way, because my stuff’s going to take longer! Besides, you young people are always so impatient and I don’t want you hovering over me while I work!”

(My coworker and I exchanged glances, and then traded places once again so she could finish helping her customer as was originally planned.)

Trying To Explain It In Black And White

, | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in with a black & white document.)

Me: “Do you need some copies made today?”

Customer: “Yes, please. I need 20 of these, black & white.”

(I make her copies and walk back to the counter.)

Customer: “Can you make 10 in color, too, please?”

Me: “Sure, you just need them on the brighter, heavier paper that we use in the color machine?”

Customer: *stares at me like I have two heads* “NO, so that they’re in COLOR.”

Me: “You mean you want it to look like it did on the computer screen before you printed these in black?”

Customer: *frustrated* “YES!”

Me: “No color machine in the world is capable of restoring color from a black and white copy.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Thank goodness the customer behind her was laughing at her because I was certainly about to!)

A Sheet Understanding Of Languages

| Coral Springs, FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(An elderly customer comes in with a manila folder filled with paper.)

Me: “Hello! Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need copy of… How do you say?”

(It’s clear English isn’t his first language, so I get closer to listen.)

Me: “What was that?”

Customer: “Do you say…’piece of paper?’ or ‘sheet of paper?'”

Me: “You can use either of them. Both are okay.”

(The customer seems to understand, and hands me a sheet from the folder.)

Customer: “This. I need five pieces of sheet.”

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