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Ah, Boys…

, , , , , , , | Related | August 15, 2023

I am visiting an old medieval castle on vacation. I have reached the torture chamber part of the tour. The room contains mock-ups of medieval torture devices, including a stretching rack.

An American father and his son (six years old at the oldest, based on the ticket he’s carrying) are looking at the rack.

Father: “Do you know what this is?”

The kid nods.

Father: “This is a stretching rack. They’d tie people to the chains and then stretch them using that pulley over there.”

Kid: “How did they stretch the chains?”

Father: “They didn’t stretch the chains. They stretched the body.”

Kid: “Oh…” *Eyes go wide in realization* “…oh!

He then smiles mischievously in the way only six-year-old boys can.

Kid: “That’s so coooool!

He furiously looks around the room and spots the super-spiky iron maiden.

Kid: “Dad! Daaaad! Tell me about this one!”

“And In The Mornin’, I’m Makin WAFFLES!”

, , , | Friendly | March 26, 2023

I’m in class complaining to a friend.

Me: “Ugh, I’m hungry. I didn’t have time to eat breakfast before class.”

A girl I’ve never spoken to speaks up.

Girl: “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but would you like my waffles?”

I was never so grateful to a stranger, and she was so nice about it. The two waffles gave me some energy for the three-hour practice of geodetic surveying in 5°C (41°F) weather that day.

To be honest, it might not be the kindest act I’ve experienced, but it was so unexpected and so sweet.

Should Have Czech-ed Before You Spoke

, , , | Right | February 4, 2021

Like many cities, Prague is filled with people trying to sell tourists random crap. I’m on the tram and looking on my phone when I see a man get onboard. I see him out of the corner of my eye and he holds something out, so I think he’s trying to get me to buy something. I keep looking at my phone and wave him away.

Me: “Ne, ne.”

Man: *In a booming voice* “ANO!” *Yes!*

I looked over and realized he was holding out a badge — not a trinket — that identified him as a metro ticket inspector. He death-glared at me and the entire car stared at me. I dove for my monthly pass for him to scan. The dude glared at me while he checked every other person’s pass.

You Gotta Make Them Want To Take The Survey

, , , , , | Working | September 30, 2020

Not sure if this is Not Always Right or Not Always Working. A bit of both, maybe.

I am last-minute shopping for some essentials. I take my purchase from the shelf and make a beeline for the cashier, trying to be in and out ASAP.

The cashier is sort of polite, says hi, and scans my purchase. But the moment she sees the receipt, she smiles like crazy and her tone is suddenly the overly nice one.

Cashier: “I hope you found everything just all right today! On your receipt, there will be a link to a survey.” 

Me: “Nah, thanks. Just give me the receipt; I’m in a hurry.”

I take my purchase — already paid for — and extend my hand for the receipt but the cashier sort of leans back to take it out of my reach.

Cashier: “Oh, it will be just a moment! I’ll explain it to you. I can write my name for you, so you can mention it.”

Me: “Either you give me the receipt now and I’ll just go or you’ll continue this nonsense and I’ll give you the worst review I can think of. What do you say?”

She then sort of threw the receipt at me and I left. And no, I did not leave a bad review for her.

The Gift-Wrap That Keeps On Giving, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2020

I work at a bookstore that provides gift packing for your order. Packing something costs about €2. We also have online orders to be picked up at our store. On our website, you can order gift packing and you have to pay at the cash desk. I’m always doing gift packing and then answering orders so customers can pick it up and already have it packed.

Customer: *Walks to my cash desk* “Good afternoon, I’m here to pick up my order.”

Me: “Sure, what’s your name?”

There are two of my coworkers at that time.

Customer: “My name is [Customer].”

I start looking for his order. When I find it and show him his order, he seems to be angry.

Customer: “I didn’t want it to be packed. I need to put something inside this book.”

Me: “Well, you ordered gift packing and we do it immediately. You could write it in the notes that you want it to be packed later.”

Customer: “Well, can you unpack it, so I can put it in?”

I do what he wished for. My coworker approaches me and whispers.

Coworker: “Put it twice in his price.”

I scan his order and put packing twice in his price.

Me: “It will be €14.”

Customer: “Why that much?”

Me: “You had it already packed, but you wanted me to do it again. It’s for the double work and material.”

Customer: “I don’t get it. Why do I have to pay this much?”

Me: *Trying to be calm* “I already said it’s for the work and material I had to use.”

Customer: “I’m not paying for that.”

I delete the packing, as I haven’t repacked it yet.

Me: “It will be €10.”

Customer: “Where’s the packing?”

Me: “You said you were not going to pay it, so I deleted it.”

Customer: “But I want packing.”

Me: “Then you have to pay €14.”

Customer: “That’s too much.”

My coworker comes up to help me.

Coworker: “You made her pack it twice, so you have to pay it twice. Do you get it?”

The customer then paid for two packings and left without saying goodbye.

Related:
The Gift-Wrap That Keeps On Giving