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    Don’t Tell The Methodists

    | Texas, USA | Religion, Top

    Customer: “I’d like 50 Christmas stamps, please.”

    Me: “What denomination?”

    Customer: *befuddled* “Oh, my, has it come to this? Um, give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 of the Baptists.”

    Forever Dumb

    | Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I am wondering: how long are the ‘forever’ stamps good for?”

    Me: “They are good forever.”

    Customer: “So, I can still use them when the rate goes up? I don’t have to throw them away?”

    Me: “They are ‘forever’ stamps. They can be used ‘forever’, regardless if the rate goes up.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure what was meant by ‘forever’…”

    Exchanges At This Rate Will Get You Nowhere

    | Brisbane, Australia | Money, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need to pay this bill and the bank said I had to come to the post office.”

    Me: “Ok, that will be $625.80.”

    Customer: “No, it’s $500.”

    Me: “No, it’s $500 US. In Australian dollars, that’s $625.80.”

    Customer: “No, it says right there it’s $500. You are just discriminating against my daughter!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “How else can you justify a $125 fee?”

    Me: “Our fee is $8; the Australian dollar is only around .8 of the American dollar.”

    Customer: “So what you are saying is, I would be better off paying a thousand dollars?”

    (This continues for some minutes until an old lady in line behind the customer speaks up.)

    Old Lady: “I’m going to have to go to another post office. This will never get resolved. This woman is just too stupid to live!”

    Pushing The Envelope Of Patience

    | Staffs, England | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    (I set up temporary redirections for customer’s mail after a house move whilst they get around to telling people that they’ve moved.)

    Me: “How long would you like us to redirect your mail for?”

    Customer: “Until everybody knows I’ve moved.”

    Me: “Well, how long do you think it will take you to tell everyone?”

    Customer: “Me tell everyone?  Don’t you do that for me?”

    Me: “Sorry, but that’s up to you. We don’t know who writes to you.”

    Customer: “Well you should! You deliver the letters to me!”

    It’s Also A One-Way Trip

    | Netherlands | Uncategorized

    Me: “*** Post Office, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I would like to get God’s address.”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have an actual address for God.”

    Customer: “But how can you know where to deliver letters to God without an address?”

    Me: “We deliver them to the church down the street.”

    Customer: “So you are telling me you don’t actually deliver the letters to God himself?”

    Me: “Um, no.”

    Customer: “I cannot believe you lie to all these people and deliver those letters to some crappy church!! I need my letter to be delivered to God directly! I hate you!”

    Me: “I am very sorry, sir. I guess you’ll have to go deliver the letter yourself. But look on the bright side, it saves you a postal stamp!”

    Customer: “Yeah, I guess so.” *click*

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