October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Sender To Return

| Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

(A customer comes in and presents me with a package. I immediately note that he has the delivery address in the place of the return address, by standard postal conventions.)

Customer: “I sent this package from here last week, and it came back to me.”

Me: “Sir, you have your addresses in the wrong places.”

Customer: “Why does it matter? Can’t the post office hire people who can read?”

Me: “They can read just fine, sir. However, they do try to move quickly to get your mail out on time, so they look at the second address.”

Customer: “That just means they’re stupid and they need to learn how to read. No wonder the post office is going out of business!”

Me: “Sir, standard postal addressing conventions have the return address on top, and the delivery address on the bottom, and this is what postal employees expect to see. You have your ‘To’ and ‘From’ backwards.”

Customer: “Oh, so now this is all my fault? They deliver it wrong and you tell me it’s my fault? I hope you don’t expect to keep business that way. I won’t be coming back. I’m going to UPS.”

Me: “Have a good day, sir!”

Next customer: *having witnessed entire exchange* “UPS is going to send it back to his house too!”

Me: *nods*

Don’t Tell The Methodists

| Texas, USA | Religion, Top

Customer: “I’d like 50 Christmas stamps, please.”

Me: “What denomination?”

Customer: *befuddled* “Oh, my, has it come to this? Um, give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 of the Baptists.”

Forever Dumb

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I am wondering: how long are the ‘forever’ stamps good for?”

Me: “They are good forever.”

Customer: “So, I can still use them when the rate goes up? I don’t have to throw them away?”

Me: “They are ‘forever’ stamps. They can be used ‘forever’, regardless if the rate goes up.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure what was meant by ‘forever’…”

Exchanges At This Rate Will Get You Nowhere

| Brisbane, Australia | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to pay this bill and the bank said I had to come to the post office.”

Me: “Ok, that will be $625.80.”

Customer: “No, it’s $500.”

Me: “No, it’s $500 US. In Australian dollars, that’s $625.80.”

Customer: “No, it says right there it’s $500. You are just discriminating against my daughter!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “How else can you justify a $125 fee?”

Me: “Our fee is $8; the Australian dollar is only around .8 of the American dollar.”

Customer: “So what you are saying is, I would be better off paying a thousand dollars?”

(This continues for some minutes until an old lady in line behind the customer speaks up.)

Old Lady: “I’m going to have to go to another post office. This will never get resolved. This woman is just too stupid to live!”

Pushing The Envelope Of Patience

| Staffs, England | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

(I set up temporary redirections for customer’s mail after a house move whilst they get around to telling people that they’ve moved.)

Me: “How long would you like us to redirect your mail for?”

Customer: “Until everybody knows I’ve moved.”

Me: “Well, how long do you think it will take you to tell everyone?”

Customer: “Me tell everyone?  Don’t you do that for me?”

Me: “Sorry, but that’s up to you. We don’t know who writes to you.”

Customer: “Well you should! You deliver the letters to me!”

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