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    Not Quite The Picture Perfect Finish

    | Orem, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (Our studio is in a mall. I’m the photographer in a sitting with a young child. The child is throwing a tantrum, crying and screaming, while the mother stands next to me doing nothing.)

    Me: “Sometimes when kids won’t cooperate, we suggest taking a break. There’s a candy store right next to us or the toy store is right across the hall.”

    Mother: “I don’t want to wait any longer to get these photos done. Just take the photo.”

    Me: “We could get you right in when you come back. You wouldn’t have to wait again. Sometimes kids just need a quick distraction to calm down.”

    (The kid is currently in full meltdown mode.)

    Mother: “Just take the photo so I can purchase a package and go home.”

    (Without even looking at the child, I snap a photo. The image comes up on the screen: the child is mid-tantrum, red-faced and screaming. I turn to the mother, deadpan.)

    Me: “How’s that?”

    Mother: “… The candy store is right next to you?”

    Young Boys Love Player-Time

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (I am a female photographer working in a family oriented portrait studio. I have just finished doing Christmas pictures for a single mother and her two young sons. The youngest son, roughly six, is more interested in me.)

    Me: “Go ahead and click through those. When you see the ones you want, just write the number down on this first line here. If you have any questions let me know, okay?”

    Mother: “Okay, that seems easy enough.”

    Boy: “Oh, I have a question!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Boy: “Do you like this hat? This hat is so special!”

    Me: “That is a neat hat! What makes it special?”

    Boy: “It’s got my name on it! See?”

    (The name ‘Ruben’ is written in green glitter on his Santa hat.)

    Me: “Ruben?! Did you know there’s a really good sandwich named after you?”

    Boy: “No way!”

    (I check on the mother’s progress.)

    Boy: “Hey, hey lady!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Boy: “What’s your name?”

    Me: “It’s Veronica, why?”

    Boy: “Well, if there’s a sandwich named after you, I would so eat it!”

    (The mother and I look at him, and laugh. The mother has also made a few decisions on her pictures.)

    Me: “Okay, so your photos will be done in about an hour and a half; sound good?”

    Mother: “Perfect!”

    (The mother picks up the youngest boy and begins to leave my store. As they are leaving, the boy is clawing over her shoulder reaching out at me.)

    Boy: “Hey, Veronica! Call me!”

    Me: “I’ll call in 20 years, dude!”

    Boy: “Okay! Don’t forget to call meeee!”

    Angst For The Camera

    | California, USA |

    (Note: We mostly take high school senior portraits.)

    Me: “Okay, we’re all set! Look right into the camera and give us a big smile!”

    (The kid stares blankly for a few shots.)

    Me: “Do you want to smile for maybe just the last one or two shots?”

    Student: “I never smile. Any time I show emotion, I get hurt.”

    Imperceptions On Imperfections

    | Bay Area, CA, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer comes in to pick up the portraits of her daughter she ordered. I go through the order with her to verify everything is there.)

    Customer: “What is this on my daughter’s face!?”

    Me: “Well, it looks like her skin has a red mark below her eye.”

    Customer: “No! She doesn’t! She looked perfect when we came in and I didn’t see this on the computer before. You did something to them!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, but the photographs are exactly as they appear on the ordering screen. Also, this mark is on her face in the same spot in every pose, so it couldn’t be a printing problem.”

    Customer: “Well, no. You’re wrong. You did something to them. my daughter is perfect!”