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    Explanations As Clear As Water

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pool Store], how may I help?”

    Caller: “How much would a new pump be for my pool?”

    Me: “Have you got an in-ground or an above-ground?”

    Caller: *long pause* “I don’t know.”

    Me: “You don’t know?”

    Caller: “No! How could I?”

    Me: “Alright. Go into your back yard, and run at the pool. If you fall in, it’s probably an in-ground. If you bounce off, it’s an above-ground.”

    Chlorine Wishes And Door Knob Dreams

    | Houston, TX, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, what kinds of door knobs do you carry?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t have any door knobs.”

    Customer: “What?! WHY NOT?”

    Me: “Um…because this is a pool supply store.”

    Customer: “This is totally unacceptable! I came here to get a new set of door knobs for my garage, and you’re telling me that you won’t sell me any?”

    Me: “Yeah, pretty much.”

    Customer: “You are so rude! I demand to know the name of the manager! I’m going to complain about this – I hope you liked your job!”

    Me: “I do like my job, as a matter of fact. Here you go.”

    (I hand her my business card, which states that I am the store manager.).

    Me: “Just call this number and I’m sure you’ll be taken care of.”

    (The customer grumbles and walks out. She gets into her car and proceeds to call the number on the business card I just handed her.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was just in one of your stores, and the employee was incredibly rude to me. He refused to sell me a set of door knobs.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way ma’am, but as I just told you when you were in the store, we do not sell door knobs.”

    Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER! NOW!”

    Me: “You are, ma’am. I am the store manager.”

    (The customer screams and hangs up, then speeds away in her car. In the process, she cuts off a police officer, who promptly pulls her over.)