Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,742 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Cower Before My Shower Of Flowers

    | Ontario, Canada | Wild & Unruly

    (I am standing at the cash register of our store. A customer comes up and asks about our tulip bulbs, so I point them out and she goes over to them.)

    Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to help me count them out?

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, how many would you like?”

    Customer: “500, obviously. You can’t expect me to do that on my own!”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am, I’ll help you for the moment.”

    (As we reach the 200-tulip mark, three other customers finish their shopping and line up at the cash. I’m the only cashier, so I go to help.)

    Customer: “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I don’t have 500 yet!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to ring these people through. I’m the only cashier on duty. I can help you again once I’m finished.”

    Customer: “You b****! You said you would help me, and now you want to back out? I can’t believe this!”

    (Suddenly, the customer throws her bagged tulips onto the floor, scattering them everywhere. She then grabs handfuls of bulbs from the bin, throws them around the store, stands up, and marches out.)

    Pleased To Make Your Transmittance

    | Austria |

    Customer #1: “Oh, look! They’ve got cape gooseberries! I’ve got to get one!”

    Customer #2: “Cape gooseberries? What are those?”

    Me: “They’re the round orange fruits in a husk. They’re also called Physalis–”

    Customer #2: “Oh! Syphilis! Yes, I know those!”

    No Brains And The Bees

    | Maryland, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have anything I can spray on my flowers to keep the bees off them?”

    Me: “You want to keep the bees off your flowers?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you sell that?”

    Me: “Do you understand how flowers work?”