November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

A Not So Bitter End

| Spokane, WA, USA | Top

Customer: “Are you in charge of the salad bar?”

Me: “Of course. I make sure all the food is fresh. Was something wrong?”

Customer: “Your dressings are too sweet!”

Me: “We buy our dressings pre-packaged, but it is possible that something went wrong somewhere along the way. Which one was it?”

Customer: “The dressing!”

Me: “They are all too sweet?”

Customer: “Were you born simple? The dressing is sweet!”

Me: “Is it red, orange, white, or brown?”

Customer: “The brown one is too sweet!”

Me: “That’s the balsamic vinaigrette. It shouldn’t be sweet at all, but I will pull it and put out a new container of dressing for you.”

Customer: “Thank you! Was that so difficult?”

(I begin to pull the only brown dressing we have and she stops me.)

Customer: “My God, you are such an idiot! You’re pulling the wrong d*** dressing!”

Me: “You said the brown dressing, right? I am pulling the brown dressing like you asked.”

Customer: “Not that dressing, you idiot, this brown dressing. You are so stupid!” *points*

Me: “You mean the chocolate pudding?”

Giving A Pizza His Mind

| St. Petersburg, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Would you like to try our 2 for $20 special today?”

Customer: “I hate my wife!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “She’s such a b****! I never did anything to deserve this. She’s so demanding and I can’t deal with it!” *continues ranting for a few minutes*

Me: “Sir, did you want to order a pizza?”

Customer: “No, I just needed someone to vent on.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I hope I helped.”

Customer: “It feels good to get that out! Have a good night.”

Me: “You too, sir!”

Customer: *click*

Make A Pesto Oneself

| Italy | Top

(I am a 17 year old girl working at a pizzeria. A tourist who looks about forty approaches me, looking angry.)

Tourist: “How dare you sell this food in an Italian restaurant!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not entirely sure what you mean.”

Tourist: “This food! Don’t you know that pizza and ice cream are American? How dare you take credit for what we have done! This is ridiculous! I am going to sue you!”

Me: “Sir, that really isn’t necessary. I–”

Tourist: “Don’t you take that tone with me! Stop sounding all professional! It’s annoying!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, you-”

Tourist: “Shut up! This food is American! How dare you be so racist against Americans!

Me: “Sir, I am originally American, so why would I–”

Tourist: “This food is American!”

Me: “Sir, I–”

Tourist: “American!”

Me: “Ask anyone anywhere. Look it up on the Internet, even. I assure you that all this food is Italian.”

Tourist: “The customer is always right!” *storms off*

(I continue to serve customers. 25 minutes later he comes in again.)

Tourist: “Yeah, so I looked it up. Turns out it was Italian. Uh, so can I have your number?”

The Customer Is Always Right (And Regular)

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Caller: “I just called and made an order for delivery, but please tell the driver to wait. I have to go have bowel movements.”

Coworker: “Um, sure thing, ma’am.”

(About 10 minutes go by…)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Same customer: “You can tell the driver he can bring my food to me now. I’m done with my bowel movements.”

A Misunderstanding Of Pi

, | Howard Beach, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a large pepperoni pie and a bottle of [soda] delivered to [address].”

Me: “Okay, your total is ***. That’ll be about a half hour. Is that all?”

Customer: “Oh, also, how much extra would it cost to have my pie be 16 slices instead of 8? Because I’m really hungry tonight.”