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    Pick-Up Fails To Deliver

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order a small pizza.”

    Me: “Sure, anything else today?”

    Customer: “My number?”

    Me: “…anything else?”

    Customer: “My number?” *smiles*

    Me:Your number…?”

    Customer: “…sorry, I wanted to try that pick-up line out.”

    Me: “Oh…well…it didn’t work. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: *walks away with his head down*

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    Don’t Burn Your Bridges Or We’ll Burn Your Pizza

    , | Columbus, OH, USA |

    Me: “Welcome to [pizza place], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I have a pickup for Smith.”

    Me: “That name doesn’t show up in our system… what phone number did you place it under?”

    Customer: *gives phone number*

    Me: “That’s the number for our competitor.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know… but the last time I went there, the service was so bad I told them I would never come back, and I don’t want them to know I’m ordering again. So, I thought maybe you guys could go pick it up for me?”

    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 6

    , | Tacoma, WA, USA |

    (I’m a customer waiting for my pizza and overhear this conversation.)

    Cashier, to another customer: “Hey, what can I get you?”

    Customer: “Just a bottle of water, please.”

    Cashier: “Sure, that’ll come to $1.09.”

    (The customer hands him two dollars, and then pauses.)

    Customer: “Actually, could I get you to exchange these five ones for a five?”

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    Customer: “Oh, wait… can I exchange the two fives for a ten?”

    (This continues for a few minutes until the cashier smiles and says that he has to get back to work helping me, since my pizza is ready. The guy leaves.)

    Me: “People like that always make me nervous. I’ve had bad run-ins with short changers.”

    Cashier: “Yeah, I was wise to his game, though.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah?”

    Cashier: “Yeah. He shorted himself two dollars.”

    Related:
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 5
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2
    Lesson 1, How To Scam A Scammer

    What A Kilo-Moron

    , | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    Customer: “Hi, can you tell me how big an order of breadsticks is?”

    Me: “Well, a small is 6, and a large is 12.”

    (The customer and his wife confer for a moment before he turns back to me.)

    Customer: “We’re from the States; we don’t use the metric system. Can you convert it?”

    Watch For Grease Stains In The Concord

    , | Rohnert Park, CA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, this is **** Pizza. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium cheese pizza and a 2-liter of Sierra Mist, please.”

    Me: “All right, that’ll be $**.**. Would you like to come pick it up or have us deliver it?”

    Customer: “Delivery, please. My address is…” *lists a house in Philadelphia* “Would you be able to get it here in about thirty minutes?

    Me: “Uh, sir, we’re in California, and we don’t deliver to Philadelphia. Especially not in thirty minutes.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, on your website it said you deliver in thirty minutes or less.”

    Me: “Yes, locally. Not to Philadelphia.”

    Customer: “Oh, well. Uh, thanks anyways.”

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”


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