Time To Sing Jailhouse Rock

| Saskatchewan, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Top

(My primary job is delivering pizzas, but I’m also the lead vocalist in a metal band that’s popular in the local area. We’re not well known much further than that. We recently played a show where we also sold a small amount of merchandise.)

Me: *handing pizzas to customer* “That’ll be $35.”

(The customer hands me the money. I notice that he’s wearing a hoodie with our band’s name and logo on it.)

Me: “Nice hoodie!”

Customer: “Yeah, man! I was at the show last weekend.”

Me: “Awesome, how’d you like it?”

Customer: “They’re wicked, man! I feel kinda bad for taking this hoodie right of off the wall.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Were you there, too?”

Me: “Yes, I was the one holding the microphone.”

The Usual, As Usual As Possible

| Windsor, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

Caller: “Can I get 3 pizzas and an order of bread sticks?”

Me: “Sure, no problem!”

Caller: “But I don’t want the bread like you usually make it.”

Me: “Okay, how would you like it?”

Caller: “I want it softer to bite into.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “But i don’t want it lightly done.”

(The caller pauses, and I’m not sure what to say.)

Caller: “…and I don’t want it burnt.”

Me: *lightbulb turns on* “Okay, so you would like it normal?”

Caller: “Yes.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10

| USA | Uncategorized

(I am taking a delivery order.)

Me: “And how will you be paying tonight? Cash or credit?”

Caller: “Credit.”

Me: “What type of card is it?”

(The caller states the name of her bank.)

Me: “No, ma’am. I meant is it a Visa, MasterCard?”

Caller: “Oh, Visa.”

Me: “The number?”

Caller: “What number do you want?”

Me: “The big one on the front.”

Caller: “Oh, really. All of it?”

(She provides twelve numbers.)

Me: “I need four more numbers.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see them there. 1234.”

Me: “Okay. And the expiration date?”

Caller: “Where do you find that?”

Me: “The bottom right corner.”

(A few seconds of silence pass.)

Caller, talking to someone else: “Find the expiration date for me.”

(She finally finds it and gives it to me. I arrive with her order, and hand her the credit card receipt. She turns to her friend, and hands it to her.)

Caller, to her friend: “Sign this for me. I don’t know how.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

Deliver Us From Stupidity

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi thank you for calling [pizza chain]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I ordered a pizza two hours ago and it still hasn’t arrived.”

Me: “I am sorry about that, sir. Can I get your phone number? We can see what happened.”

(The customer gives me the phone number.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it appears your order was placed for carryout.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t understand what that means.”

Me: “Well, it means you need to actually come down to the store and pick it up.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it meant you would carry it out to me.”

Me: “No sir, that would be delivery. Would you like me to switch it to delivery for you?

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Stone Baked Goodness

| California, USA | Uncategorized

(I answer a phone call from an obviously high customer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. Will this be for dine in, take out or delivery?”

Customer: “Do you guys have any specials?”

Me: “Yes, right now we have an extra large pepperoni pizza for $12.99.”

Customer: “Woah! That’s a great stoner pizza! Wait, did I say that out loud?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Awesome!”

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