November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

That Pizza Was All Greek To Me

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, my pizza was just delivered and it was entirely incorrect. I just gave it back to the driver and he gave my money back. But I’d like to get my correct pizza.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Well it looks here like you ordered the Greek pizza—”

Customer: “Yeah, but the one I got had tomatoes and black olives, and green peppers, I think…”

Me: “And red sauce and onions and feta cheese?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the Greek pizza. You got exactly what you ordered.”

Customer: “What? Well my friend just ordered from you last week and he said he got the Greek, but it was different. It had gyro meat on it and it got served with tzatziki sauce.”

Me: “Oh, your friend must have ordered our Santorini pizza. I can go ahead and change your order here and send you the right one. It costs the same price.”

Customer: “Uh… that’s it? I don’t get a discount or anything?”

Me: “Well… no. I mean… it’s your friend’s fault that he told you the wrong pizza. But you got exactly what you told us you wanted. We don’t give discounts for people who neglect to read our menu before ordering.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. That’s fair, I guess.”

Superbowled Them Over With Realisation

| Sparta, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am working as a cook at a pizza place. it’s Superbowl Sunday, the phone has been ringing constantly, and we’re working non-stop. My manager asks me to answer the phone in back and take orders.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like an order for delivery.”

(I take his order.)

Me: “Okay, that comes to [total] and the delivery estimate comes to about three hours.”


Me: “Sir, are you watching the Superbowl tonight?”

Customer: “Well… yeah.”

Me: “And I assume you have a small gathering at your house?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Would you safely assume you’re the only person in town doing this?”

Customer: “…umm, no.”

Me: “So if everyone else in town is doing the same as you, there is going to be a bit of a wait. Do you still want your order?”

Customer: “Oh. Yeah, we can wait.”

Streets Ahead Of The Customer

| LA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am delivery driving pizza. My store has a 30-minute-or-less guarantee. I get a delivery order for E. 72nd St and head right over there with their order of a drink and a pizza. When I get to the address, I can’t find their house number. I call back to the store and verify the address. It comes back the same. I look some more… no luck. I call back again and they call back the person who placed the order who also verifies the same address. Still can’t find it! On a hunch I drive over to E. 72nd Road and find the guy. Note: this is NOT a nice neighborhood.)

Customer: “You’re late! I want my order for free!”

Me: “I can’t because you gave us the wrong address.”

Customer: “Nope. I get it for free!”

(He tries and tries to get me to give him the order for free, wasting my time.)

Me: “Are you going to pay for this or not?”

(He still insists on trying to talk me into giving it to him, so I flip open the pizza box, grab a slice, and start eating it right in front of him! I turn, get in my car, and head to the store. When I get there I tell my manager what I did, expecting to get chewed out.)

Manager: *with a wink* “You’re going to have to pay for that order… Give me a dollar and don’t do that again.”

(I thoroughly enjoyed that pizza and drink!)

Try Not To Vegetate On It For Too Long

| MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m in the kitchen making pizzas when my boss comes back and tells me that an order she just sent back requested that we use a clean knife and cutting board to cut her pizza with because she is vegan and doesn’t want her pizza to come into contact with something against her diet. This is not an unusual request so I give her a thumbs up. A few minutes later I get to the ticket.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss]? It was ticket number 62 that was the vegan ticket, right?”

Boss: “Yeah.”

Me: “Ticket 62… The cheese stuffed pizza with extra cheese?”

Boss: “Yeah…”

Me: “…”

The Lie-To-Yourself Diet

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. Can I interest you in two large pizzas with up to five toppings and a pop for only $22.99?”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that much. I’m on a diet.”

Me: “Okay. What can I get you tonight?”

Customer: “Can I get a large veggie pizza, but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, that would just be a meats pizza with tomatoes.”

Customer: “No, I’m on a diet. I need a veggie pizza because of my diet. but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total will be $11 and we will have it ready in 15 minutes.”

(I rang up the order the way she wanted it but told my coworkers that it was just a meats pizza with tomatoes.)