November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

A Thin And Crispy Argument

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am managing a very busy popular grab-and-go pizza place. The customer is the father of some former employees and his family; we always tend to give them a good deal on their food since two of his kids have worked at our location in the past. On this occasion they have received their food, with significant discount, when the father comes back into the store with a displeased look on his face.)

Customer: “Hey, [My Name], can you come over here?”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: *opens pizza box displaying the thin and crispy pizza they had ordered and steps back, arms crossed with a look of disgust*

(I look at the pizza and can see nothing wrong.)

Me: “I don’t understand.”

Customer: “You would eat this?!”

(I look again and see that the pizza has all the characteristics that we look for when making a thin crust, particularly the fact that it has cooked slightly longer than our classic crust pizza, to give it the crispy part of the ‘thin and crispy.’)

Me: “Of course! It looks delicious!”

(He looks at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “No, this pizza is burnt!”

(Every time they have ever ordered this same pizza, it has always looked like this, but, trying to be nice I explain to him.)

Me: “Well, I will gladly make you a new pizza but this is how our thin crust pizzas come out of the oven. If you would like to have your pizzas lightly cooked, then we need to have that information before the order is made, so that we can have everything the way you would like it.”

Customer: *looks as if he is struggling to hold back anger* “I have never seen a pizza look like this and I have been to several [Pizza Chain]s in this area! I want my whole order redone!”

(At this point, I have a line forming behind him and I can see other customers begin to look annoyed at the extended wait.)

Me: *to the workers making the pizzas, with just a hint of incredulity* “Hey, I need [Customer]’s order redone! Make sure everything is lightly done and perfect for him before he leaves again.”

(He then storms out of the store, leaving his kids to wait for the food. After the rush has calmed down a bit, I and a coworker, the one who had cut the pizzas for him originally, are in the back of the store inspecting the pizzas he had the issue with.)

Coworker: “I can’t believe he would make such a fit about his food, in front of a lobby full of people, especially when he has had two kids work here in the past who have had to deal with rude customers like him!”

Me: *grabbing a slice of the thin crust and taking a bite* “Oh, well. I was hungry anyway!”

Driving Out The Lies

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m a manager; however, we’re short staffed so I’m helping with deliveries. After taking a delivery I get this call. I’m a girl.)

Customer: “I have a complaint about the service I received tonight. The delivery guy cussed me out and I had to chase him down the street to get my food. He also refused to give me my change. It was cold and over an hour late. I want my money back, my pizza remade, and a gift card.”

Me: “Oh, wow! I am so sorry. I’ll be glad to help, but first can I have your address and a description of the driver?”

(She gives her address, and says the driver was a tall guy. She ‘couldn’t see too well in the dark’ for a better description.)

Me: “Okay… Well, I’d be happy to help, but first would you like to change your story? I don’t quite believe it.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?!

Me: “First of all, a guy answered the door. I was your driver tonight and I certainly don’t recall any of this occurring. Can you explain once more why you need a gift card?”

Customer: “…oh, s**t.” *hangs up*

Not So Closed Minded, Part 8

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am the opening manager. Every morning my duties include powering on the lights, setting up the dining room, and putting our A-frame sign out on the sidewalk. Due to customers attempting to get in before we open, I always reserve these tasks for last. My boss could never understand why, until today…)

Boss: “If you just get it done first thing, you don’t have to worry about it and you can get started on preparing the fresh food!”

Me: “I’d advise against it… Can we at least leave the lights off to help discourage people from coming in?”

(My boss agrees, but it’s clear he doesn’t see why I’m so hesitant to set up the dining area. He takes all the chairs down, and goes to put the sign out on the sidewalk despite the fact that we aren’t open for another hour and a half… and a customer immediately walks in behind him. It’s about 9:30 am.)

Customer: “I want [hot meatball sandwich]!”

Boss: “Unfortunately, we aren’t open yet, sir. You came in right behind me as I was putting our sign out.”

Customer: “Then make me a [pizza]!”

Boss: “Sir, we aren’t open yet. Our ovens aren’t even on. They take time to heat up, so right now I can’t cook you anything! Even if I could, I don’t have most of the ingredients prepared. If you want a salad, I can make an exception. Those aren’t hot and they don’t take long. But I can’t cook anything.”

Customer: “What!? Why won’t you sell me a god-d*** pizza?! Your sign is out! Your lights are on! I demand you sell me a pizza!”

(My boss and the customer went back and forth a few minutes longer, and eventually the customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: “And THAT is EXACTLY why I don’t set up the dining room until just before we open!”

(I was never again scolded for doing those tasks last!)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

The Fall Of The Call

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. What can I get you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a large pepperoni pizza, no pepperoni, and six orders of fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a dozen cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, and four fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have gum?”

Me: “No, but I do have caller id, and will be giving your number to the police if you call here again.”

Caller: *click*

Go Easy On The Brain

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am delivering to a customer who placed their order online. When I get to the door I begin reading off the ticket to make sure everything is correct and accounted for, as is standard procedure, when the customer interrupts me.)

Customer: “And what kind of cheese did you put on it?”

Me: “I believe we use mozzarella and parmesan.”

Customer: “NO! That is NOT what I ordered! You were supposed to make it with Ezon cheese!” *pronouncing ‘ezon’ with a pretentious French accent*

Me: “Um… Sorry, but I’ve never heard of this cheese, and as far as I know we don’t use it.”

Customer: *in a condescending tone* “Well, of course you haven’t heard of it. Maybe if you weren’t so ignorant you’d have a real job instead of delivering pizzas. And apparently even that’s too hard for you because you don’t even know what kind of cheese you use. You’ll probably end up making a career out of getting pregnant for welfare checks.”

Me: “Actually sir, I’m just doing this for extra cash while I’m in University. And since I also do inventory and prep work, I’m certain we don’t carry this type of cheese.”

Customer: “Well, I clicked the button for it on your website! That’s what I asked for and that’s what I was supposed to get!”

(Snatching the receipt out of my hands, then shoving it right up in my face.)

Customer: “GOD, it’s right there on the receipt! SEE?! Eeeeee-zonnn cheeeeeese!”

Me: *suddenly understanding and laughing* “No.”

Customer: “No?! What do you mean NO?!”

Me: “You clicked the button for ‘easy on the cheese.'”

(The customer goes silent and looks at the receipt again, where it says ‘EZon cheese.’ Then without a word he hurriedly tosses some money at me, rips the pizza bag out of my hands and slams the door in my face. I pick up the money off the ground and quickly count it to find it is short. I ring the doorbell a few times before he throws it open, looking livid.)

Customer: “NOW what do you want?!”

Me: *holding up the wadded bills* “I can count properly too, and you still owe $2.37. I’m also going to need the bag back.”

(The customer makes a very dramatic show of stomping his feet as he goes back to the kitchen, and shoves three more dollar bills at me. As I am turning to leave, he explodes again.)

Customer: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Leaving.”

Customer: “What about my change?! You think you’re getting a tip after what you put me through?! You still owe me fifty-seven cents!”

Me: “No, a dollar minus thirty-seven is sixty-three. And we don’t carry anything smaller than a dollar bill. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “I am NEVER giving you people my business EVER AGAIN! You can kiss my money goodbye!!!”

Me: “Don’t worry, sir; you were going to be placed on the no-delivery list anyway.”