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    Listen For The Manager At The End

    , | Illinois, USA |

    (I work at a well known pizza chain; let’s call it Daddy Jim’s.)

    Customer: “I’d like a large sausage and ham pizza and a large Italian Meats Trio.”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $**.**. We’ll have it out there in about 45 minutes.”

    (An hour later as I arrive back from the delivery, the store receives a phone call from the same customer.)

    Customer: “Yeah, hi. I ordered an Italian Meats Trio pizza, and you guys got it wrong.”

    Me: “How did we get it wrong?”

    Customer: “Well, it has sausage, ham, and some other sh*t on it.”

    Me: “Is the ham kind of orange?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Is the sausage peppered and brownish-orange?”

    Customer: “Uh….yeah.”

    Me: “Is the other stuff salami?”

    Customer: “Yeah! What the hell?”

    Me: “Well, the orange ham is Italian ham, the sausage is Italian sausage, and you say there’s Italian salami.”

    Customer: “Yeah, so what?”

    Me: “That’s three Italian meats…Italian Meats Trio.”

    Customer: “Well if I had known that, I wouldn’t have ordered a sausage and ham pizza too!”

    Me: “Well maybe you should have some idea of what you’re ordering before you order it.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you guys tell me?!”

    Me: “Because you ordered it. You didn’t ask about it.”

    Customer: *click*

    My Loud Manager: “F*cking morons! I hate this job!”

    Related:
    Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

    With Great Pizza Comes Great Responsibility

    , | Louisiana, USA |

    (A hospital calls to order pizza.)

    Manager: “Thank you for calling *****, would you like to try the Superhero Special?”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Manager: “It’s an extra large, three topping pizza that comes with a coupon for the Spiderman 3 DVD.”

    Customer: “…the pizza’s delivered by Spiderman!?”

    Manager: *laughs* “Only if its delivered to the psych ward, ma’am!”

    Playing Along

    , | Portland, OR, USA | Top

    Me: “Welcome to *** Pizza, how can I help you?”

    Customer (sincerely): “Do you have any Chinese food?”

    Me: “Errr…no.”

    Customer (still earnest): “Ohhh…really? What about Thai food?”

    Me: “Oh! Yes.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “No. Not really. Just pizza.”

    Lowest Common Denominator

    | Newcastle, UK |

    Customer: “I’d like a Chicken Kiev pizza, without chicken, garlic or sweetcorn. And throw some ham on there.”

    Employee: “So, you want a ham pizza?”

    Customer: “Yeah, why not.”

    Welcome to People’s Pizza, Comrade

    , | USA | Top

    Old man: “Well, I’d like 3 slices, all meat and a Coke.”

    Me: “Is Pepsi okay? We don’t serve Coke anymore.”

    Old man: “WHAT?!?!?!?!? YOU DON’T SERVE COKE? ANYMORE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”

    Me: “Well, we used to sell both brands. It was just far too expensive to keep both stocked when most people aren’t devastated by not having Coke.”

    Old man: “THAT’S ABSURD! WHO DOESN’T SELL COKE! THAT’S INSANITY!”

    Me: (at this point, I’m egging him on and holding back laughter) “Well…you can go next door. The convenience store probably sells Coke, but I can’t guarantee it.”

    Old man: “That’s what I’ll do! You won’t get my $0.75!”

    Me: “Umm…okay. I’ll have your pizza in just a minute.”

    His wife: “Don’t mind him. He’s crazy.”

    Old man: “Shut it! What kind of a day and age is it when you don’t sell Coke? It’s just plain un-American.”

    Me: “…you know Coke cans are red. Like communism. ”

    Source

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