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    Weight Watchers Rejects

    , | Waco, TX, USA |

    Lady: “How many slices come on the 8-inch pizza?”

    Waiter: “Well usually we cut it into 6, but we can make it four, or eight or ten. Whatever you want.”

    Lady: “Better just make it six…I don’t think I can eat more than six slices.”

    We Love You Too

    , | Pizzeria | Top

    (It was literally 3 minutes before closing time, and someone called us.)

    Drunk Customer: “Ehhhhhh hello?”

    Me: “Sir, we are at closing time.”

    Drunk Customer: “Oh… well, can I have a large cheese pizza and a cheeseburger?”

    Me: “Sir, it is closing time. We’re done for the day. And we don’t serve burgers.”

    Drunk Customer: “Okay, can you just…uuuhhhhh…make me a pizza really fast then?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we’re closing.”

    Drunk Customer: “COME ON! IT’S 10 PM, I’M HUNGRY, AND ALL I WANT IS A PIZZA!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 10:01. We are closed.”

    Drunk Customer: *unusually calm* “Okay…I’ll go to McDonald’s.”

    Me: “Good night, sir.”

    Drunk Customer: “Good night…I love you…” *hangs up*

    (Quite frankly, it made my day.)

    Pepperoni And A Side Of Dentures, Please

    , | Oregon, USA |

    Me: “[Pizza place], what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a large cheese pizza.”

    Me: “Great. Anything else for you today?”

    Customer: “Um…yeah. Could you undercook that? Most of the people eating the pizza don’t have teeth.”

    One Slice Short Of A Pizza

    , | Idaho, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I need 6 frozen pizzas as big as tires!”

    Me: “I don’t think we sell pizza that big, sir…”

    Customer: “Oh come on! I’ve got two flats and only one spare and I don’t wanna call a tow-truck!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid that won’t work…”

    Customer: “Fine! Be ridiculous! I’m going somewhere else! If Tom Slick could do it, why can’t I?”

    Manager: “Holy crap! Sometimes I swear these idiots do these things on purpose!”

    So This Is Why People Have Kids

    , | Portland, OR, USA |

    (It’s Christmas Eve and there is a long line of customers who are now waiting to pay. A little girl cuts to the front while I am giving a guy a drink refill.)

    Little girl’s mom (LGM), to the refill guy: “UGH! Did you just cut her?”

    (LGM smacks the guy in head; surprisingly, he just walks off with his soda.)

    Me: “What can I get you?”

    LGM: “Don’t ask me, ask her! She’s your customer; you should be asking her. God, it’s people like you who ruin the holidays!”

    Me, to the little girl: “Okay, what would you like?”

    (The little girl just stares blankly at me while customers are becoming pissed.)

    LGM, coming clean: “Just give me a Diet Pepsi. It’s for me.”

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