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    Welcome to People’s Pizza, Comrade

    , | USA | Top

    Old man: “Well, I’d like 3 slices, all meat and a Coke.”

    Me: “Is Pepsi okay? We don’t serve Coke anymore.”

    Old man: “WHAT?!?!?!?!? YOU DON’T SERVE COKE? ANYMORE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”

    Me: “Well, we used to sell both brands. It was just far too expensive to keep both stocked when most people aren’t devastated by not having Coke.”

    Old man: “THAT’S ABSURD! WHO DOESN’T SELL COKE! THAT’S INSANITY!”

    Me: (at this point, I’m egging him on and holding back laughter) “Well…you can go next door. The convenience store probably sells Coke, but I can’t guarantee it.”

    Old man: “That’s what I’ll do! You won’t get my $0.75!”

    Me: “Umm…okay. I’ll have your pizza in just a minute.”

    His wife: “Don’t mind him. He’s crazy.”

    Old man: “Shut it! What kind of a day and age is it when you don’t sell Coke? It’s just plain un-American.”

    Me: “…you know Coke cans are red. Like communism. ”

    Source

    Lesson 1: How To Scam A Scammer

    | Unknown Location | Top

    Pizza Delivery Customer: “I want this pizza for free.”

    Me: “No cash, no pizza. I don’t care if you don’t eat or not.”

    Pizza Delivery Customer: “Well, I know the owner of *** Pizza!!!”

    Me: “Really, how do you know me?”

    (Customer puts his hand and his pocket and pays for the pizza)

    (Note: I’m not really the owner of *** Pizza)

    Who Needs Math When You Can Sue

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Pizza Customer: “I ordered a pizza, half pepperoni, half sausage … and half plain.”

    Me: “Lady, there’s only two halves in a whole.”

    Pizza Customer: “I know there are only two halves in a whole! I’m a lawyer; this treatment is unfair and I demand satisfaction!”


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