Pick-Up Fails To Deliver

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order a small pizza.”

Me: “Sure, anything else today?”

Customer: “My number?”

Me: “…anything else?”

Customer: “My number?” *smiles*

Me:Your number…?”

Customer: “…sorry, I wanted to try that pick-up line out.”

Me: “Oh…well…it didn’t work. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *walks away with his head down*

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

Don’t Burn Your Bridges Or We’ll Burn Your Pizza

, | Columbus, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to [pizza place], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a pickup for Smith.”

Me: “That name doesn’t show up in our system… what phone number did you place it under?”

Customer: *gives phone number*

Me: “That’s the number for our competitor.”

Customer: “Yes, I know… but the last time I went there, the service was so bad I told them I would never come back, and I don’t want them to know I’m ordering again. So, I thought maybe you guys could go pick it up for me?”

How To Scam A Scammer, Part 6

, | Tacoma, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m a customer waiting for my pizza and overhear this conversation.)

Cashier, to another customer: “Hey, what can I get you?”

Customer: “Just a bottle of water, please.”

Cashier: “Sure, that’ll come to $1.09.”

(The customer hands him two dollars, and then pauses.)

Customer: “Actually, could I get you to exchange these five ones for a five?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

Customer: “Oh, wait… can I exchange the two fives for a ten?”

(This continues for a few minutes until the cashier smiles and says that he has to get back to work helping me, since my pizza is ready. The guy leaves.)

Me: “People like that always make me nervous. I’ve had bad run-ins with short changers.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I was wise to his game, though.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

Cashier: “Yeah. He shorted himself two dollars.”

Related:
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 5
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2
Lesson 1, How To Scam A Scammer

What A Kilo-Moron

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, can you tell me how big an order of breadsticks is?”

Me: “Well, a small is 6, and a large is 12.”

(The customer and his wife confer for a moment before he turns back to me.)

Customer: “We’re from the States; we don’t use the metric system. Can you convert it?”

Watch For Grease Stains In The Concord

, | Rohnert Park, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, this is **** Pizza. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium cheese pizza and a 2-liter of Sierra Mist, please.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $**.**. Would you like to come pick it up or have us deliver it?”

Customer: “Delivery, please. My address is…” *lists a house in Philadelphia* “Would you be able to get it here in about thirty minutes?

Me: “Uh, sir, we’re in California, and we don’t deliver to Philadelphia. Especially not in thirty minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, well, on your website it said you deliver in thirty minutes or less.”

Me: “Yes, locally. Not to Philadelphia.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Uh, thanks anyways.”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

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