Going For Broke With The Gouda

| Cottonwood Heights, UT, USA | Uncategorized

Me: *on the phone* “**** Pizza, will this be for delivery or carry-out?”

Caller: “Delivery.”

(We go through the order, and we come to the toppings.)

Caller: “Yeah, a supreme pizza. And make sure the toppings aren’t cheesy!”

Me: “You don’t want cheese on them?”

Caller: “No! I said I don’t want them to be cheesy!”

Me: “Um, our toppings are of good quality…”

Caller: “I’m sure they are, but I don’t want them cheesy! CHEESY!”

(I hear a kid’s voice in the background.)

Caller: “Oh, my eight-year-old says to say, ‘don’t hold back on the toppings’. You understand that?”

Me: “Oh…yes, I understand now.”

Caller: “Good. Don’t be cheesy.”

Perhaps You Can Blame A Guy For Trying

| Guelph, Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(On Tuesdays, we have a buy-one-get-one-free deal on medium pizzas. The day this exchange happened was a Thursday.)

Me: “Welcome to ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza please.”

Me: “OK then. Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “Well, I wasn’t here on Tuesday, so I was wondering if I could get my second free pizza today?”

Me: “Well, the deal is only applicable on Tuesdays, so I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

Customer: “OK. Well, I won’t be here next Tuesday, so can I get my free one from then?”

Me: “I’m very sorry sir, but the deal on is only available on TUESDAYS.”

Customer: “OK, I’ll be back in a bit to get my pizza.”

(He leaves, then comes back ten minutes later.)

Customer: “So…say I woke up this morning and thought it was Tuesday?”

Me: “…”

Pick-Up Fails To Deliver

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order a small pizza.”

Me: “Sure, anything else today?”

Customer: “My number?”

Me: “…anything else?”

Customer: “My number?” *smiles*

Me:Your number…?”

Customer: “…sorry, I wanted to try that pick-up line out.”

Me: “Oh…well…it didn’t work. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *walks away with his head down*

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

Don’t Burn Your Bridges Or We’ll Burn Your Pizza

, | Columbus, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to [pizza place], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a pickup for Smith.”

Me: “That name doesn’t show up in our system… what phone number did you place it under?”

Customer: *gives phone number*

Me: “That’s the number for our competitor.”

Customer: “Yes, I know… but the last time I went there, the service was so bad I told them I would never come back, and I don’t want them to know I’m ordering again. So, I thought maybe you guys could go pick it up for me?”

How To Scam A Scammer, Part 6

, | Tacoma, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m a customer waiting for my pizza and overhear this conversation.)

Cashier, to another customer: “Hey, what can I get you?”

Customer: “Just a bottle of water, please.”

Cashier: “Sure, that’ll come to $1.09.”

(The customer hands him two dollars, and then pauses.)

Customer: “Actually, could I get you to exchange these five ones for a five?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

Customer: “Oh, wait… can I exchange the two fives for a ten?”

(This continues for a few minutes until the cashier smiles and says that he has to get back to work helping me, since my pizza is ready. The guy leaves.)

Me: “People like that always make me nervous. I’ve had bad run-ins with short changers.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I was wise to his game, though.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

Cashier: “Yeah. He shorted himself two dollars.”

Related:
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 5
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2
Lesson 1, How To Scam A Scammer

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