How To Scam A Scammer, Part 6

, | Tacoma, WA, USA |

(I’m a customer waiting for my pizza and overhear this conversation.)

Cashier, to another customer: “Hey, what can I get you?”

Customer: “Just a bottle of water, please.”

Cashier: “Sure, that’ll come to $1.09.”

(The customer hands him two dollars, and then pauses.)

Customer: “Actually, could I get you to exchange these five ones for a five?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

Customer: “Oh, wait… can I exchange the two fives for a ten?”

(This continues for a few minutes until the cashier smiles and says that he has to get back to work helping me, since my pizza is ready. The guy leaves.)

Me: “People like that always make me nervous. I’ve had bad run-ins with short changers.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I was wise to his game, though.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

Cashier: “Yeah. He shorted himself two dollars.”

Related:
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 5
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3
How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2
Lesson 1, How To Scam A Scammer

What A Kilo-Moron

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

Customer: “Hi, can you tell me how big an order of breadsticks is?”

Me: “Well, a small is 6, and a large is 12.”

(The customer and his wife confer for a moment before he turns back to me.)

Customer: “We’re from the States; we don’t use the metric system. Can you convert it?”

Watch For Grease Stains In The Concord

, | Rohnert Park, CA, USA |

Me: “Hello, this is **** Pizza. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium cheese pizza and a 2-liter of Sierra Mist, please.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $**.**. Would you like to come pick it up or have us deliver it?”

Customer: “Delivery, please. My address is…” *lists a house in Philadelphia* “Would you be able to get it here in about thirty minutes?

Me: “Uh, sir, we’re in California, and we don’t deliver to Philadelphia. Especially not in thirty minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, well, on your website it said you deliver in thirty minutes or less.”

Me: “Yes, locally. Not to Philadelphia.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Uh, thanks anyways.”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

Getting Lost On The Super Highway

| Waterloo, Ontario, Canada |

Me: “**** Pizza, **** speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I need directions to your store.”

Me: “OK, we’re located at **** Drive and **** Street.”

Customer: “So, if I come out of my driveway, do I turn left or right? East or West?

Me: “Uh… do you have a computer?”

Customer: “Yes, but why?”

Me: “Well, there’s this website, Mapquest.com–they should be able to help you.”

Customer: “Oh, well how do I get to Mapquest? Left or right?”

Coworkers: They Make Life Worth Living, Part 2

, | Denver, CO, USA | Top

(Everyone I work with knows I’m gay. A customer has just paid for her order.)

Customer: “Stop staring at my boobs!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “You heard me!”

Me: “Lady, I was just counting the money you gave me.”

Customer: “No, you were staring at my boobs and pretending to count the money. Let me talk to your manager right now! I’m going to get you fired!”

(Before I can say anything, one of my male coworkers comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my chest.)

Coworker: “I’m the manager. Are you bothering my boyfriend?”

Customer: *takes her food and leaves*

Coworker’s girlfriend, to me: “Hey, wanna come over tonight?”

Related:
Coworkers: They Make Life Worth Living

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