October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Those Are My Stories And I’m Sticking To Them

, | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(My coworker and I are talking to each other at the counter of our restaurant when a customer comes up.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I ordered a medium pizza, but I wanted a small.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you need a box for the extra pizza?”

Customer: “No. I ordered a large pizza, but you brought me a medium.”

(A little confused, I glance at my coworker. She glances back at me with the same confused look.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…would you like me to put a small pizza in so that you have more pizza?”

Customer: “No! I ordered a medium pizza, and you brought me a medium pizza! But don’t worry, I’m not mad at you.”

(At this point, both my coworker and I are too confused to know what to say, so we just look back at the customer.)

Customer: “I know! Sometimes my dog can be distracting!” *walks away*

Me and coworker: *still confused*

The (ever)Last(ing) Supper

, | Houston, TX, USA | Top

(I work as a cook at a pizza place. A tall and thin customer comes in and begins to place an order with the cashier.)

Customer: “Yeah, I want the large pepperoni.”

Cashier: “For here?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Cashier: “Would you like anything with that?”

Customer: “Yeah, let me have the spaghetti dinner.”

Cashier: “Oh, did you want that instead of the pizza?”

Customer: “Naw, I want the pizza too. Can I get extra garlic bread?”

Cashier: “Um, sure.”

Customer: “Sweet. Can I also get one of them open-faced sandwiches? The roast beef and cheese…and can you add some sausage to the sandwich too?

Cashier: “Yeah…”

Customer: “…and a salad. What kind of salad do you have?”

Cashier: “Well, we have a small side salad, or a larger dinner salad…”

Customer: “Well…”

Me: *speaking over the counter* “We also have the antipasto salad! It’s pretty big!”

Customer: “Yeah! I want that!”

Cashier: “Um…is there anything else?”

Customer: *looks around, and sees the bags of potato chips on
“Yeah, those look good. Give me two bags of chips!”

Cashier: “Okay…is there anything else?”

Customer: “Naw, I think that’s it.”

Cashier: “Do you need us to box up any of this to go?”

Customer: “Naw.”

Cashier: “Will you have anything to drink with this?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I totally forgot! I’ll have a small Coke!”

(When we finally brought the food out to the customer, it was a LOT of food. Surprisingly, the customer stayed in the restaurant for over 4 hours, and he ate almost everything!)

Not How You A-Dress A Customer

, | Manchester, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [pizza delivery]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to order some pizzas, please.”

Me: “No problem.”

(The call proceeds normally; she orders two pizzas and we make a little small talk.)

Customer: “Can you deliver them, please?”

Me: “Sure, address?”

Customer: *long pause* “Pardon?”

Me: “The address?”

Customer: *long pause again* “I’d like to speak to your manager now, please.”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Just put your manager on!”

(I call my manager over.)

Manager: “Hello, what appears to be the issue?”

(The manager talks with the customer for a while. He eventually hangs up, throws the order slip in the trash, and bursts out laughing.)

Me: “What was all that about?”

Manager: “She thought you were asking if she was wearing ‘a dress’ and wanted to complain.”

One Slice Of Trigonometry, Coming Up

| California, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “How many slices are in your medium pizza?”

Me: “We cut it into 8 slices, but if you’d like we can cut it into 12 or even 16.”

Customer: “Oh no! Don’t do that, I can’t eat that much. Just cut it into 8.”

Not-so-righteous Indignation

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer claims they had found cockroaches in several pizzas we had delivered earlier. My manager tells me to go ahead and give them their money back.)

Me: “Here’s your money refunded in full, and again, we’re very sorry for this. It’s never happened before.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! We’re never ordering from you again. You should feel ashamed!”

Me: “Again, we’re very sorry. If you could just give me the pizzas back, I’ll dispose of them for you.”

Customer: “Well…I don’t have them anymore.”

Me: “What did you do with them?”

Customer: *sheepishly* “I gave them to my kids.”

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