Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,650 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Give Them An Inch And They’ll Drive A Mile

    | Aurora, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a shift manager at a pizza chain. There are other stores miles away from us, and we all have our own areas that we deliver to. The areas don’t overlap, and we can’t deliver somewhere outside our area.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [pizza place]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Delivery.”

    Me: “Okay, can I get your phone number please?”

    (The caller gives me a phone number and I can see we’ve never taken an order from him before, at least not under that number. I ask for his name, and he gives it to me.)

    Me: “Can I have your address please?”

    (He gives me an address, which I recognize to be in another store’s area.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; your address is in another store’s delivery area. I can give you their number, it’s—”

    Caller: “But I called THIS store.”

    Me: “Yes, but we can’t deliver to you. However, [sister store name] can. I have their—”

    Caller: “Why can’t you deliver to me?”

    Me: “All of our stores in the region have specific areas that they can deliver to. You’re in another store’s area.”

    Caller: “Well, can you just put a different address in and then deliver it to my address?”

    Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that for safety reasons. I’d be happy to give you the other store’s number, though.”

    Caller: “What, do you think I’m going to rob you? I want to speak to a manager!”

    Me: “Speaking. I’m the manager on duty tonight.”

    Caller: “No, you’re not. Last time I called I talked to a guy.”

    Me: “We have more than one manager working here; I just happen to be working tonight.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, what if I gave the driver more money? Then could you deliver to me?”

    Me: “No, we still can’t.”

    Caller: “Fine! This is horrible service! I’m going to call and complain about you!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I can give you our 1-800 numbe—”

    Caller: “I’ll just come pick it up. I want a large pepperoni.”

    Me: “Sir, the other store is closer to you; I’d be happy to give you their number.”

    Caller: “No! You’re just being lazy! I want a large pepperoni!”

    (I give up and take the customer’s order. A while later he shows up and asks for his order. I get his order and go to cash him out.)

    Caller: “I want a discount for having to drive so far! You guys should build a store closer to me!”

    Me: “I’m not giving you a discount; I’m the one who took your order, and I tried to give you the number of a store that’s closer to you several times!”

    Caller: “Oh. Well… you should have been clear about it!”

    Give Pizza A Chance

    | Merseyside, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls for a pizza delivery.)

    Customer: “I want a large pizza with all the toppings.”

    Me: “We’ve got over 30 different kind of toppings; which would you like?”

    Customer: “All of them; I’m starving.”

    Me: “A pizza with 30 toppings isn’t going to taste very nice.”

    Customer: “I don’t care; I’m starving. I want all the toppings.”

    Me: “One of the toppings is sliced banana; do you want that one?”

    Customer: “Ugh! Banana? No, not on a pizza. Okay, leave that off.”

    Me: “Do you like olives?”

    Customer: “Er, no. None of them.”

    Me: “Anchovies?”

    Customer: “What are they?”

    Me: “Small strips of dried, salted fish.”

    Customer: “Ugh, no!”

    (We repeat this for 25 more items.)

    Me: “So, that’s a ham and mushroom on a thin crust, with you in 30 minutes.”

    Customer: “Er, yeah. Thanks.”

    Flying Off The Pan-Handle

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My coworker and I work in retail, but we are the customers in this story. We decide to hang out at her place after work. I order some pizza, and pick it up on the way to her house.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m [name], and I’m here to pick up my order.”

    Assistant Manager: “I am terribly sorry, sir. There has been a mistake with your order. We’re trying to fix it as soon as we can.”

    Me: “Oh, dear. What happened? If it’s the wrong toppings, I’ll still take it.”

    Assistant Manager: “No, sir, unfortunately one of our staff members accidentally gave your order to another customer. I am very sorry about this. We’ve just remade your order, and it’ll be done in just a couple of minutes.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine, I totally understa—”

    My Coworker: “WHAT?! I can’t believe you let this happen!”

    Me: “Whoa, calm down, [coworker]! People make mistakes, and it’s not going to take very long.”

    My Coworker: “No! I will not calm down, this is an outrage!”

    (My coworker addresses the assistant manager.) “I demand that we be compensated for this inconvenience! I can’t believe they let you be assistant manager around here!”

    Me: “Hey, hey, time out! I’m the one paying here, so you have no right to talk to him like that!”

    Coworker: “No, the customer is ALWAYS right! He should throw in a few extras for free!”

    Me: “Okay, if he did that, our order is gonna take even longer.”

    (Not even one minute after our short argument, our pizzas get brought up to the front. I pay for exactly what I ordered, no more, no less, and we leave. On the way back to my car, my coworker is still muttering.)

    Coworker: “I still think we should’ve gotten some free breadsticks or something.”

    Me: “Listen. You work in customer service too. You go through the exact same s*** he does, and I know YOU wouldn’t tolerate customers who fly off the handle like you just did. I am not impressed with the blatant hypocrisy you just displayed.”

    Coworker: “No, this is different! Our customers think they’re always right! In my case, I actually am!”

    Me: “Normally, I’d make you walk home for saying such a dumb comment, but I really don’t want to expose your current state to the general public.”

    These Customers Are Mostly Harmless

    | Western Australia, Australia | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    Me: “Good evening, welcome to [pizza store]. How can I help you this evening?”

    Customer: “Just a Meat Lover’s on the regular base, thanks.”

    Me: “Not a problem. It should be ready in ten to fifteen minutes. Can I just have a name for the order?”

    Customer: *politely* “No.”

    Me: “…Sorry?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter, does it?”

    (The customer’s friend looks a bit annoyed at the customer, like he’s done this before, but doesn’t offer a name either.)

    Me: “Well, it’s busy tonight and I may not be the one giving out the pizza, so if there isn’t a name they may not know whose pizza it is.”

    Customer: “I just don’t want my name on the computer.”

    Me: “Well, I could put a fake name down instead?”

    Customer: *rolls his eyes, and then replies* “Fine, just put down Slartibartfast.

    Me: “…Slartibartfast?”

    Customer: “I told you it didn’t matter!”

    (He then walks off before I can reply to his name; I’m a huge fan of Douglas Adams myself. When his pizza comes out, I call out his name.)

    Me: “Slartibartfast and the hoopy frood Zaphod Beeblebrox?”

    (Both men laugh as they collect the pizza. The next time they came back, it was a pizza for Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect!)

    We’ll Make You As Right As Rain

    | Florida, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (It’s a Friday night after the evening rush. It’s pouring rain, and generally people are more irritable if they have to be in the rain after a long day at work. Such is the case with this customer.)

    Customer: *walks in* “Evenin’.”

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [shop name]. Did you already have an order with us?”

    Customer: “No. Do you have a menu I can look at?”

    Me: “Yes, I have one right here.”

    (I hand her a take-home menu, but there is a large board menu above me that’s pretty obvious.)

    Customer: “Oh, I guess I could’ve just looked up there, huh.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: *frowning* “Agreeing with me makes you sound like you’re making fun of me.”

    Me: “I would never. I value your service with us.”

    Customer: “As you should.”

    (15 minutes later…)

    Customer: “Is my pizza done yet?”

    Me: “It should be done any second now.”

    Customer: “Why does it take so long? I could’ve just gone to [competitor shop name] and been home with a pizza by now.”

    Me: “Well, we cook everything to order to ensure your food is always fresh.”

    Customer: “Well, you haven’t done anything except fold pizza boxes. I could’ve done that for you, and you could’ve gone to make my pizza and have it to me quicker.”

    Me: “There’s already a staff on the food line right now. Adding me back there wouldn’t help at all.”

    (She picks up an unfolded pizza box and examines it.)

    Customer: “Well, this is certainly too easy of a job. I could do it blindfolded!”

    (The customer struggles with folding box, and finally gets the box folded after five minutes of toying with it. In that same time, I’ve already made a stack and am working on another set.)

    Customer: “See? Too easy.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, let’s have us a challenge. I get an employee discount to use every week, and I haven’t used it yet. If you can fold an 18-set stack faster than me, I’ll add that discount to your order.”

    Customer: “You’re on!”

    (The customer’s food comes out. She finishes her stack, but long after I’ve completed mine. She picks up her food and begins walking to the door.)

    Customer: “So much for my discount, but thank you for entertaining me. I had a pretty s***y day today, and you cheered me up, AND the rain has stopped. You’ve earned the shop a regular customer!”

    Page 2/512345