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    Living In Her Own Pizza Pie In The Sky

    | UT, USA | Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take out or delivery?”

    Customer: “Hi. Um, can I get a large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, olives—”

    Me: “Yes. I just need to know if you will be coming to pick this up, or if you would like to have it delivered?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (The customer proceeds to order food without telling me if it’s for take-out or delivery which is info that we need to take the order. To make things worse just at that moment my computer freezes making it impossible to take an order.)

    Customer: “… and I would also like to add a salad on to that order—”

    (The customer continues to order food at light speed as I try to interject.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I need you to hold on for a second.”

    (The customer is completely oblivious to everything I’m saying, and continues to order.)

    Me: “Miss, I need you to hang on for just a second. My computer froze and I am unable to take your order for a moment.”

    Customer: ” Okay, I think that’s everything. How much will the total be?”

    (I am completely dumbfounded by this woman.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I have to put you on hold. Hang on for one moment.”

    (I put the woman on hold and notify my manager that one of the computers has frozen. I proceed to take the order on another computer but when I take the phone off hold I find that the customer has hung up. 15 seconds or so pass and the phone rings again. This time my coworker answers the call.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take-out or delivery?”

    Customer: “Hi. Yes. Um, I just called in and your phone person hung up on me. We had the order paid for and everything.”

    (Never in my life have I dealt with a more oblivious person.)

    No Thick Crust For Crusty Old Bigots

    | GA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (A regular at our restaurant comes in while I’m working the register. He’s about 60 and always smells like alcohol. He isn’t the nicest person. It is my first time dealing with him.)

    Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

    (The regular walks the length of the counter, making sure he can see everyone in the back making pizzas.)

    Me: “Sir? Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?”

    Regular: “Sausage pizza.”

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be [price].”

    Regular: *pointing* “Is HE gonna cut it?”

    Me: “Who?”

    (The regular jabs his finger towards the 19-year-old coworker cutting the pizzas. He happens to be our only black employee.)

    Me: “Yes, sir. That’s his assigned station for the day. Is that a problem?”

    Regular: “If he’s gon’ touch it, I don’t want it.” *walks out*

    Manager: “What happened? Did he order anything?”

    Me: “No. He said he didn’t want it if [Coworker] was gonna cut it.”

    Manager: “Hey, [Coworker]. Do you know that guy?”

    Coworker: “Nope. Never seen him in my life.”

    Manager: “Wow. I knew he was a little rude but I didn’t know he was racist.”

    Me: “Why do we keep serving him?”

    Manager: “We’re not allowed to refuse service to anyone, according to company policy, unless he ‘physically or verbally assaults an employee or customer.’”

    (A few days pass until the regular comes in again. My coworker is working again, cutting pizzas, and I’m the cashier. My manager isn’t there.)

    Me: *with a friendly customer service voice and huge smile* “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve your kind here.”

    (The regular stares at me, confused. I just keep beaming that smile at him. Eventually he mumbles some racist and sexist slurs and walks out.)

    Coworker: “HAVE A NICE DAY!”

    They Read A Pizza My Mind

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    Me: *taking an order over the phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I would like to order two large pizzas, and I want the first one with sausage.”

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like for the second one?”

    Caller: “I don’t know. Surprise me.”

    (I am almost about to do just that. All of a sudden I hear a second person on the other line.)

    Second Person: “DON’T SAY THAT! HE PROBABLY WILL SURPRISE YOU!”

    Caller: “Okay. Sorry. Make that second one pepperoni.”

    Me: “What’s the matter? Don’t you like anchovies?”

    An Old Hack And A Credit Card Hack

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (A customer approaches one of my coworkers.)

    Coworker: “Hi! Welcome to [Pizza Place]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to speak with your manager. NOW.”

    (Being the manager, I step in.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m the manager. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “YOU’RE the manager? How old are you? 12?”

    Me: “I’m 24, sir. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *sighs very loudly* “I have a problem. I think my daughter’s credit card was hacked or something. A charge that she doesn’t recognize showed up on the bill. This is the address that showed up for the charge.”

    Me: “The address here actually covers the entire strip mall, sir; not just this store. We have a suite number. The name of the pizza place always shows up on our credit card charges.”

    Customer: “My daughter and her mother are going to other stores to ask them about the charge. It would really help me if I could make sure the charge didn’t come from your store.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to try to help you, sir. Can you give me the date and amount for the charge?”

    Customer: “Sure. It’s [date and amount].”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t have any orders from that day that are for that amount.”

    Customer: “Whoever stole her card number probably left a tip or something.”

    Me: “Sir, we add the tip to the order in the system so we can give cash to our drivers at the end of the night. The total should match exactly.”

    Customer: “Maybe you didn’t add it or something!”

    Me: “Okay. If you’ll give me the last four digits of your daughter’s card number, I can check the batch report.”

    Customer: “I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Can I just see the batch report so I can check for her card number?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir. There are other credit card numbers in that batch report.”

    Customer: “So? It’s not like I’m going to steal the card numbers or anything.”

    Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, sir. But I still can’t show you the report. Since you won’t give me the last four digits of your daughter’s card number, I don’t think I can help you. I suggest you call the company that issued the credit card to dispute the charge. They should be able to remove it and issue your daughter a new card.”

    Customer: “NO! I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR BATCH REPORT RIGHT NOW! MY DAUGHTER’S CARD WAS HACKED. I HAVE A RIGHT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t help you. You need to leave, please.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU, B****!”

    (The customer leaves after flipping me off. I call the cops. They find him screaming at another manager in a store several doors down. Ironically, it turns out the guy had several outstanding warrants for identity theft and credit card fraud!)

    This Customer Can Go Truck Himself

    | Boise, ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s get your details. What’s your address?”

    Caller: “Exit 49.”

    Me: “Um, that’s not a complete address. Unfortunately, I can’t complete an order unless it has a complete address, due to the POS system that we have installed.”

    Caller: “I’m in a f***ing semi, and I’m f***ing hungry. GET ME A F***ING PIZZA!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can not complete your order unless you have a complete address. Perhaps you could come pick it up instead?”

    Caller: “Well, F*** YOU! I’m in a F***ING SEMI and I’m F***ING HUNGRY! There is no F***ING way I’m driving my F***ING truck all the way out there!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can not help you there. Besides, Exit 49 is outside of our delivery area. Have a good day, sir.”

    (The caller hangs up immediately and I quickly inform my manager. The caller calls back less than a minute later.)

    Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry!”

    Manager: “Were you the one who called earlier, asking for a delivery to a semi?”

    Caller: “YES! And the other chick wa—”

    Manager: “She does not get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you, and frankly, neither do I. Have a good day!” *click*

    Related:
    Go Truck Yourself


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