A Habitual Hazard

| Saratoga, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m throwing myself in for this one. I call in an order to a local pizza shop. They have a family special which gets you a large pizza and twenty wings. I also work at a chain pizza shop.)

Employee: “[Pizza Place], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like the family special, please. Pizza just cheese, honey barbecue for the wings, and then another order of ten hot wings, extra saucy.”

Employee: “Okay, so the family special, cheese for the pizza, honey barbecue wings, and ten hot wings?”

Me: “Yeah. Anything else?”

Employee: “Wait, what?”

(We both pause, then immediately crack up laughing. I have just asked the woman taking my order if she wanted anything else.)

Me: *through my laughter* “Oh, my god, I’m so embarrassed! I work at a different pizza place and that was just habit!”

Your Tiredness Kept The Safe Safe

| Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

(I manage a pizza store, and go in at 10:30 pm to help close up. I am in my casual clothes and I’m completely exhausted. I go outside the store to use the bathroom when I am stopped by someone.)

Stranger: “Gimme the safe keys.”

Me: *groggy* “Safe keys?”

Stranger: “The f****** store safe keys!”

Me: “…safe keys?”

(The safe keys are in the store, but I am so tired I barely know my own name. Before the stranger can respond a coworker comes outside, and the stranger bolts.)

Coworker: “Who was that?”

Me: “That guy wanted safe keys… Wait, did that guy just kinda try to rob the store?”

(If the coworker hadn’t shown up, the stranger could have easily harmed me in my state. This is one of many reasons that you shouldn’t overwork your store managers!)

And To Top It All Off…

| ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a pizzeria as a take-out girl, meaning I take phone calls for customers and input what they want into the computer. I’m in the middle of an order.)

Customer: “I’d like two extra large pizzas, one with pepperoni and cheese, and one with pepperoni, cheese, onions and bacon.”

Me: “Okay! That’ll be [price].”

(We don’t count cheese as a topping you have to pay for unless you get double cheese… so two toppings and cheese is the standard price on the menu and anything after that is extra.)

Customer: “No! You charged it wrong. It should be [standard price].”

Me: “Well… you got three items on the second pizza… and—”

Customer: “and… I only got one topping on the first one! I should get [standard price]!”

Me: “It doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “It should! Get me you manager!”

Me: “All right…”

(I put my manager on the phone, after five minutes of explaining he hangs up.)

Me: “How’d it go, [Manager]?”

Manager: “Well… apparently we’re all stupid scam artists who make terrible pizza… She said to either give her the price or hang up. Guess which I picked?”

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of October

| Saratoga, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(It is about a half hour from closing when the phone rings. If you want to pay for delivery with a card, you have to do it over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Delivery, please.”

(We go through the normal ordering process of phone number, address, what she actually wants; when we get to the payment.)

Customer: “Yeah, I like, want to charge it.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your card number whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “It’s [Number].”

Me: “Expiration date?”

Customer: “October 2014.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s coming up declined. Let’s try the number again.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Okaaay, it’s 4… 2… 3…”

(She’s saying each number slowly and dramatically, as if I processed it wrong because I’m stupid. I’m a bit disgruntled until the next part happens.)

Me: “And for the expiration, I have ten-fourteen?”

Customer: “No, October. Like, eleven-fourteen.”

Me: “Okay, I think I see the problem here. You’re all set and it’ll be about forty minutes. Have a great night.”

A Thin And Crispy Argument

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am managing a very busy popular grab-and-go pizza place. The customer is the father of some former employees and his family; we always tend to give them a good deal on their food since two of his kids have worked at our location in the past. On this occasion they have received their food, with significant discount, when the father comes back into the store with a displeased look on his face.)

Customer: “Hey, [My Name], can you come over here?”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: *opens pizza box displaying the thin and crispy pizza they had ordered and steps back, arms crossed with a look of disgust*

(I look at the pizza and can see nothing wrong.)

Me: “I don’t understand.”

Customer: “You would eat this?!”

(I look again and see that the pizza has all the characteristics that we look for when making a thin crust, particularly the fact that it has cooked slightly longer than our classic crust pizza, to give it the crispy part of the ‘thin and crispy.’)

Me: “Of course! It looks delicious!”

(He looks at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “No, this pizza is burnt!”

(Every time they have ever ordered this same pizza, it has always looked like this, but, trying to be nice I explain to him.)

Me: “Well, I will gladly make you a new pizza but this is how our thin crust pizzas come out of the oven. If you would like to have your pizzas lightly cooked, then we need to have that information before the order is made, so that we can have everything the way you would like it.”

Customer: *looks as if he is struggling to hold back anger* “I have never seen a pizza look like this and I have been to several [Pizza Chain]s in this area! I want my whole order redone!”

(At this point, I have a line forming behind him and I can see other customers begin to look annoyed at the extended wait.)

Me: *to the workers making the pizzas, with just a hint of incredulity* “Hey, I need [Customer]’s order redone! Make sure everything is lightly done and perfect for him before he leaves again.”

(He then storms out of the store, leaving his kids to wait for the food. After the rush has calmed down a bit, I and a coworker, the one who had cut the pizzas for him originally, are in the back of the store inspecting the pizzas he had the issue with.)

Coworker: “I can’t believe he would make such a fit about his food, in front of a lobby full of people, especially when he has had two kids work here in the past who have had to deal with rude customers like him!”

Me: *grabbing a slice of the thin crust and taking a bite* “Oh, well. I was hungry anyway!”

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