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    Looking For A Stuffed Cash Cow

    | Canada | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (In order to drive business to our photography studio, we leave out stuffed animals for customers to ‘find’ and return in exchange for a free session and picture. The animals come with a silly poem with directions on where to go to collect their prize. A customer comes in, and places one of our toys on the counter.)

    Customer: “I found your toy.”

    Me: “Great! You’ve won a prize! You’ve won a free picture plus sitting!”

    Customer: “What? You mean there’s no cash?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I found your toy. I was under the impression there would be a reward.”

    Me: “Erm… yes. The sitting and picture is the reward.”

    Customer: “Well, I want CASH!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; we’re not allowed to offer cash prizes.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t have to take this! I brought your toy back, and you won’t pay me for it! You do it every other time! I can’t believe you won’t do it now! I’m calling your manager to complain!”

    Me: “Well, I am the manager, ma’am. I’m quite certain I’ve never handed out a cash prize for this game.”

    (The customer is now red faced and even angrier.)

    Customer: “How rude of you! I’m calling your company to complain and get my cash!”

    (The customer then shoves the toy across the counter, pauses to take the number for customer services, and storms out.)

    A Beautiful Soul

    | NH, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (There’s a photo up on the wall of the studio that has a coworker, a former coworker, and myself in it. People unfortunately usually comment on the former coworker’s appearance. A family comes in with four girls; the second oldest is about 15 and looks at the photo.)

    15-year-old Girl: “Oh, she’s really ugly. Look at this ugly girl!”

    Mother: “Don’t say things like that out loud.”

    15-year-old Girl: “But she’s so ugly!” *turns to her five-year-old sister* “She’s ugly, isn’t she? See how ugly she is!”

    Little Sister: “Um, I think ALL these girls are pretty!” *smiles and walks away*

    (She made my day!)

    Childhood Innocence, Adulthood Nonsense

    | Germany | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work as the cashier of a photographer. A customer and her husband walk in, asking for the photos of their children.)

    Me: *handing them the photos* “Here you go. You have nice-looking children, by the way.”

    Customer: “Thanks, but…can’t you, you know, make my daughter prettier?”

    Me: “Prettier?”

    Customer: “Yes, I mean, look at her!”

    Me: “Madam, I am sure these photographs have been retouched well by my coworkers. If you have any complaints about their work, I can–”

    Customer: “NO! I want this to be remade!”

    Me: “What exactly bothers you about these photos, anyway?”

    Customer: “It’s her boobs. You guys should have made them far bigger!”

    Me: “You want them…bigger?”

    Customer: “Yes! How hard is that?”

    Customer’s husband: *quietly* “Honey, you do realize she is 8 years old?”