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    Must Be One Of Them Transdimensional Cameras

    | Maryland, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my pictures.”

    (I grab the customer’s pictures and she proceeds to look through them. She then hands one of the pictures to me.)

    Customer: “Can you print this the other way?”

    Me: “The other way?”

    Customer: “Yes, flip it around.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (Confused, I go into the lab, insert the film negative into the machine upside down and print a mirrored image for the customer.)

    Me:¬†”Here you go!”

    Customer:¬†”No, no, no. Flip it around!”

    Me: “I did. See, it’s mirrored.”

    Customer:¬†”No, no, no. My husband took the picture.¬†Can you flip it around and print him?”

    Me:¬†”…”

    Blue Haired Drug Pushers

    , | Boston, MA, USA |

    (One evening, an elderly irish woman, complete with white hair, a cane, and a heavy accent, comes up to the photo counter to pick up some pictures she dropped off earlier.)

    Customer: “I would like to have a discount on these photos I just printed. Can you give me 5 of the 20 for free?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we really can’t do that.”

    Customer: “I’ll give you some perks.”

    Me: “Perks?”

    Customer: “Percs. You know… percs.”

    (Customer reaches out to shake my hand and places 3 pills in it.)

    Customer: “Those are good percs, I know you’ll like them!”

    Maybe That’s Her Good Side

    | Turnersville, NJ, USA |

    Customer: “Do you take passport photos?”

    Me: “Yes we do. Do you want one taken?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just stand in front of the screen, please, and I’ll take your photo.”

    (She walks up and stands in front of the white screen; she’s facing the background with her back towards me. My coworkers can barely keep it together at this point.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to turn around if you don’t want the back of your head on your passport.”

    “Professional” Photography

    | Washington, USA |

    (Customer has been browsing their pictures for a few minutes and I’ve been working on other orders.)

    Customer: “Hey!”

    (The customer taps envelope on the counter obnoxiously to get my attention.)

    Me: “Yes sir?”

    Customer: “You ruined my pictures!” *throws pictures on the
    counter*

    Me: “Sir, they look fine to me.”

    Customer: “You put your fingers in my pictures!”

    Me: “That’s impossible sir, there’s no way my fingers could be in your pictures.”

    Customer: “They stuck them in the way when you were printing them.”

    Me: “No sir, the way our machine works that just can’t happen. The only way there could be fingers in the pictures is if whoever was taking the picture accidentally let their fingers get in the shot.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m a professional and I took all these pictures so I know it wasn’t me. It has to be your fingers!”

    Me: “Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?”

    Customer: *looks annoyed and confused* “No…”

    Me: “They’re not my fingers then.”

    (This continued for another 15 minutes, with the customer complaining about our machine being out of focus and a mystery line that very obviously resembled a camera strap.)


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